I Think I Think Too Much

So I'm an Insomniac yeah? And sometimes I don't sleep at night so I take that time, as I see writing in the middle of the night is the best time to write, the darkness in my opinion draws out creativity, so these are just some things I wrote. They don't all apply to me and these aren't always my feelings, sometimes I just write for other people, for the people with no voice, the people that are too afraid to say what needs to be said, I write for those people. Overthinking.


45. Lea leaving, comi coming back

There's something about the way you talk like you know just the right things to say to make me crumble. You mention, suggest, tease, and try to bandwagon me onto your next flight out. Every idea you suggest sounds amazing except for the fact that you've hurt me and I want to look past it cause it seems like we could be okay again but you're the one who's not putting much effort, but when you do I wonder if it's for my benefit or yours. I don't know if the right idea would be me saying yes, or me saying no. It could go so many ways, I could say yes and we could restore the relationship or I could also say yes and you'd effect me negatively like all the other times. Or I could say no and I could keep myself from the hurt, or I could also say no and miss out on the opportunity of restoring the family we lost. Trust is a hard thing for me because of you. It's a catch 22. Someone give me a sign cause I want to know if it's right for me to feel this way or if I need a slap on the cheek and a "stop overthinking things" yelled in my face. The indecisiveness and insecurity are eating me alive, and now I'm just waiting till I melt into a pool of nothing so I don't have to make the choice of this issue. 

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