at first, i did nothing. too scared to move. my heart pounded in my chest and my face was on fire from blushing.
after a few seconds, i started moving with him, following his lead. his hand cupped my cheek and i put my arms around his neck. this felt different from kissing Michael. Luke's lips were softer and he tasted like vanilla. he took things slower and gentler than michael.
it was slow and tender, and when i pulled apart, i bit my lip and avoided Luke's gaze.
"i knew it." he said.
"knew what?" i was playing dumb.
"you have feelings for me."
"i do-" i cut my protest off. he wasn't lying. my heart was racing in my chest as i looked back up. he was grinning like an idiot and i giggled.
"your blushing. i told you that you would fall for me."
"maybe i.. maybe i am." i was really talking to myself, but of course, Luke heard me.
"i knew it." i blushed again, i really wished i would stop doing that.
"b-but what a-about Michael?"
"don't worry about him. he doesn't trust you."
"but here i am.. i just kis-" he cuts me off by pressing his lips to mine again, and i don't have the strength to push him off. i was enjoying this too much. my heart beat a million miles per second as i kissed him back, hoping i was moving the right way.
it started slow, but Luke got greedy and started whimpering.
"do- you- love- me?" he said in between kissing me. i didn't know what to say, i was too confused with how i felt towards him. he pulled away, and we both sat there, panting.
"why- why did you s-stop?" i breathed.
"y-you didn't answer m-my question." he was still out of breath.
i bite my lip and hesitate upon answering.
"well?" he raised his eyebrows, looking for an answer.
"i-i don't know. i mean, i definitely feel something for you." he grinned at that.
"then leave Michael. be with me."
"but.... i like Michael too."
"what? well.. who do you like more?"
"uhhh... i dont know, its just.. really confusing. i mean, i thought i would never like you, yet here i am, cheating on Michael and- oh my god. i did cheat on Michael. i'm nothing more than a cheating bitch like Michael thinks. he-he cant trust me." i whispered that last part.
"no, dont say that about yourself, your just confused about your feelings. look, all i know is that if you let me kiss you after you've been rejecting me, that means your falling for me. and i think you should be with me. you have known me longer... just saying."
"i have known you longer..." i agreed.
"but..i uh.. i guess who ever you want to be with... i accept your decision. i uh.. i want you to be happy since i love you." i could tell it was hard for him to tell me that, but i knew he was being sincere.
"thats so sweet Luke." i smile and he smiles back at me.
"yeah, i uh, i just want you be happy. i uh.. i may have seemed like all i wanted was for you to be with me, but with all that's happened, and with all this pressure on you i guess.. i just want it to be your choice and i want you to be be happy. and dont stress about Michael, its not your fault, you're just confused."
"thank you so much Luke." i pull him into a tight hug that surprises him at first, but then he relaxes and we hug for a while. when we pull away, i see that he is blushing a little bit and i smile.
"i really needed a hug."
"well, im here for you anytime." he said and he pulled his beanie back one since it had fallen off during our uh.. little kiss. he he.
"i really appreciate that."
"good." he finished fixing his head, he leaned closer and i knew what he wanted. he gently pressed his lips to mine, and i kisses back for a little bit before gently pressing his chest with my hands, breaking the contact. he looks confused.
"i'm still trying to figure out who i want to be with, Luke."
"right, sorry." he flushed and looked around before i kissed his nose and he grinned.
"for being adorable." we were both blushing and sitting on the couch quietly.
"so... i hope uh... you didn't mind kissing me since i'm sick. but all the sleep i got today made me feel a lot better."
"yeah i don't mind." he places his hand on my knee to assure me he doesn't mind and i grin at the gesture. "so.. do you think you'll be at school tomorrow?"
"probably. i want to see Michael and apologize." i see something flash behind his beautiful blue eyes when i mention Michael, but he tries to hide it.
"i understand. do you want to act like normal? where you ignore me i guess?" he asked, looking a bit sad.
"probably.. so he doesn't suspect anything. god i feel like such a horrible person sneaking behind his back. do you think i should just break up with him luke?" my eyes start to burn. i'm betraying Michael when he had been so sweet to me. i'm nothing but a whore.
"dont beat yourself up over this." Luke looked at me with sad eyes.
"but im cheating on him. and he did nothing wrong." a tear falls down my cheek and luke wipes it away with one of his slender fingers.
"please don't cry." he frowns and pulls me close in a hug, and i cry on his shoulder. this is what i was missing in my life. i think to myself. i missed Luke. the way we were friends and they way we hung out before Michael came along. Luke was annoying, but at least he was always there for me. then Michael came along and Luke got jealous and all this drama. maybe i should have taken Luke in the first place. i missed this so much.
"i missed you Luke." i mutter into his t-shirt. "so much."
"i missed you too."
and we cuddled like that, just taking in eachothers company, because we missed this so much.