"Daddy" my little girl just woke up
I got up from bed and grabbed Yessi from her crib. "Come on mama" I said kissing her on the forehead.
I took her to the kitchen to give her something to eat while Amillia slept in. She's a great mom. Always on her A-game watching out for our little girl. Today's Amillia’s birthday. I’m not planning much for today. Just making her breakfast and also take her and Yessi to the carnival. I gave Yessi some cereal and made Amillia some eggs and pancakes.
Yessi finished her cereal finished her cereal pretty quick…how do I know? She threw the cereal at me.
"You're done?" I asked. She threw more cereal.
"Okay baby…you want a pancake?" she said nothing. Assuming that it was a yes. I grabbed a pancake and cut it into little pieces for Yessi. She had like three little baby teeth. So I know she have a hard time eating a pancake. I grabbed some syrup and poured it over Yessi"s pancake.
I was almost done making Amillia's breakfast. I grabbed some fruits and began to make her a fruit salad. I know she likes her fruits .While making Amillia’s fruit salad I noticed Yessi being to quiet. I’m 100% sure my little monster is up to no good. "Yessi?" I turned around and saw my little all sticky from the syrup. I took my chubby little monster out from her chair. "You had fun?" Yessi smiled and stretched her arms to grab my face I started to laugh at how cute she was. "No baby, you're going to get me sticky” I went to the closet and grab a towel, diaper, and onesie.
I went to the kitchen and turned on the water in the sink and put Yessi in there."you're gonna take a bath. You can't go back to mommy all sticky…she’ll get mad at me." I smiled and gave Yessi a kiss on her forehead. I washed her hair really careful trying not to get soap in her little chocolate baby eyes. I then washed the rest of her. I let her sit in the sink and play with the water. Yessi was so entertained by the splashes.She would laugh if the water splashed out the sink. Her smile was just so big and the fact that she has dimples makes her even more lovable. I’m so happy that I’m a dad.
After letting her play in the sink for a good 10 minutes I took her out and put her diaper on. I dried her little curly hair and put her onesie. I then attempted to do her hair. I parted the top of her hair and tied it up. Her hair looked so cute It looked like a little water fountain. I grabbed the plate with Amillia’s food in one hand and the other hand I had my princess.
I walked in the room and Amillia was still asleep. I put Yessi down on the bed by my side of the bed. Yessi crawled over to Amillia. I then went by her side of the bed. "Mama" Yessi hugged amillia with her chubby baby arms. I put the plate down. "mama" Yessi tried to bite amillia. Amillia smiled and grabbed Yessi "my princess." She started kissing Yessi all over her face. "You’re so chubby. I’m going to bite you!" She then tickled Yessi. Amillia looked up at me "I love you" she sat up and Kissed Yessi on the forehead. "Did daddy take you a bath?" She looked up and me raising an eyebrow. "Yeah I did she was sticky from the pancakes. Happy birthday" I gave her the pancakes I made her. "Awe thank you let me give you a kiss!" She pulled my face down to her staring into my eyes. Smiling with those big brown eyes. She pulled me close and kissed me lightly. She then began to eat.
"That's all I get?" I asked. Amillia laughed "babe Yessi is right here. I can't do much plus she's crawling to the edge get her before she falls off the bed." I ran to the edge and grabbed Yessi and got in bed with her. I got out my phone and took pictures of Amillia with Yessi while she started eating. Amillia started gagging. "babe what's wrong?" She looked at me and started laughing. "I love you and all but these pancakes taste terrible."I put my hand over my heart and gasped. "Damn well that hurts," I said. Amillia covered Yessi’s ears. “Vic! You can’t say shit like that in front of Yessi!” I started to laugh. “But you just cussed” she faked laughed. “Aye I have her ears covered to it’s okay” We both started laughing as did Yessi while clapping. I grabbed my baby girl and threw her up and caught Yessi and said "get ready Amillia were going to the carnival!" With a big smile on my face. I started getting ready until.…
I got up from bed realizing at that had happened not too long ago and how such a wonderful person could haunt my dreams. Ever since the departure everything has been duller and boring I miss her so much. I walked to the kitchen getting myself a bowl for cereal and went to the fridge only a note. It was neatly folded and on top it said my name in Amillia's handwriting. I grabbed it and started unfolding it carefully.
By now you should've run out of food. That’s good. JK. I hope you know this but I love so very much. I wish I could still be with you but your future doesn't have me in it. Everything will be alright besides I have Araceli (aka Yessi in your dreams) here with me. She has you're smile with some dimples. Anyways stop thinking about what happened in the past with me, enjoy touring with the guys and make the best of every moment because before you know it will end soon. Everything that is happing now is for the better. I know you will always love me with all your heart and I understand that it’s hard to just move on. But who knows love might just be right around the corner. I know that it will seem hard especially that's it’s my birthday today. My wish for this day is for you to just go enjoy yourself. Do it for me. Te amo mucho, vamos a vermos un dia otro vez.
P.s I love the ring. ( ˘ ³˘)<3
I stared at the note not sure how to react. I smiled but frowned because I still miss amillia even though it's been 3 months since her passing but, she's my wife. I still talk to Sam but it's just simple talk like how are you, how's it going. We've all became distance to one another. After reading the note I thought I should text Sam
Me-sam, I have a note from amillia.
Sam- what do you mean?
Me- I have an actual letter from her and its written. It has the date and some weird stuff.
Sam- Vic are you playing?
Vic-i swear I'm not playing.
Sam-you know what I'm on my way.
I got off the phone and began to clean up a little around the house. Threw dishes in the sink, fixed the pillows, little stuff like that. After getting my self fixed up to look normal. The doorbell rang. I opened the door to see Sam smiling.
"Hey dude" she said opening her arms to hug me.
"Hey Sam, come in" she sat down on the couch. She smiled while looking around the living room but her smile slowly disappeared
"I can tell you moved nothing" I nodded my head
"Yeah I just want to leave everything the way she left it" she raised an eyebrow "really? Anyways so what's this note that were talking about earlier?"
I went to kitchen to grab the Note from the table. I came back Sam looked excited that this was happening. "Here" I gave her the note. She examined the note closely. She was on an emotional ride while reading this. At first she was smiley, then she got sad then she looked as if she got hit by a car…her face just went blank. "She was pregnant all this time?"
"Y-yeah" She looked up at me slightly smiling "I thought she was joking about this"
I didn't understand what she meant. "So, you knew that was amillia pregnant and you never told me?"
She bit her lip looking a little concerned.
"Vic she told he but I found out in a weird way that makes no sense...she sent me a message the day of her funeral. The message talked about how she is proud of me of talking in a large huge group and then she got into how she may be pregnant… I still have the message. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to tell anyone because I knew I would end up in the crazy house."
Sam pulled out her phone from her small purse and unlocked her phone…she scrolled down and got to the message and handed me the phone.
I read the message and felt like shit.
I gave her the phone back.
"Well she was two months pregnant… She would've been at least. 4 at this point."
I said causing Sam to bite her lip… "How did she not know though? I mean when you have sex…you get pregnant… There's no maybe or I don't know." I sighed and went to get a glass of water for the both of us.
"She didn't think she was pregnant because she had no symptoms or baby belly bumps or anything… Plus the first time we slept together she wasn't pregnant…" I came back and placed her cup on the coffee table.
"Thanks…so the boys told me that you have to do the casting for a video soon …you excited?"
Ahh yes… Tomorrow me and the guys were going to get some actors for the video. But that was the last thing in my mind. "Kind of…today is Amillia’s birthday, we should celebrate it." She raised an eyebrow "Celebrate?" I nodded "Yeah go to her grave say happy birthday you know" Sam lightly smiled "I don’t know Vic" I smiled "It’s a celebration you have to come." She then got up and stretched. "Well I'ma go back home I need to pay some bills n shit…but I'll see you at Amillia’s at 4:30?" I shook my head agreeing with the time "Yeah 4:30 is good." I gave Sam one final hug before letting her leave. "Bye Vic" she got in her car and drove off
I sat down and turned on the TV. I looked out the glass door to the back yard saw the wind moving the leaves a bit and went back to the TV.
Nothing special on TV. I was flipping the channels until I noticed a reflected figure move across the glass door. I ignored it just my imagination.
I then got up from the couch and decided to just go take a power nap. As I made my way to our room. I felt something move past me. I looked behind and it was nothing I then went to the office room (Sam's old room) and looked around. Nothing. I got out and threw myself to the bed and took a quick nap.
I felt the vibration from my phone and looked at the time.
Tony- Hey dude um Sam told me that you and her are going to visit millia…is it cool if I join you guys?
Me- dude of course that shouldn't be a question. I'll see you at her place
I got up from our bed and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and tried to smile. Notice I said tried. Anyways I went to the closest and changed into a flannel with some skinny jeans. I was looking at what hat I should wear until.
"Vic wanna go to the beach with me?" I heard Amillia’s voice and ran out the room "AMILLIA?" I yelled around the house. I ran to the kitchen there she was standing. Looking towards to the living room. "Yes let's go to the beach you and me" I said but that made no difference. She went to the drawer and grabbed a lighter. "No how about tomorrow…I'm working on a song." I turned my head towards the living and there I saw myself turning down the love of my life. "VIC TELL HER YES! GO TO THE FUCKING BEACH HER SHES GOING TI FUCKING LEAVE AND DIE " I was screaming at myself and it did nothing out she went forever never to return, not coming back ever again.
"FUCK YOU! YOU SHOULD’VE GONE WITH HER! YOU SUPPOSE TO DIE WITH HER SHE CAN’T BE ALONE YOU CAN’T BE ALONE…I CAN’T BE ALONE WE NEED EACHOTHER!" like I said nothing… I was just writing the stupid song.
I woke up to wet pillow and stuffy nose. I swear this dream was shit. It should have been both of us. Why didn't I stall her, if I did the truck would've crashed into someone else and everything would be better. Right?!! I sat there blaming myself for Amillia's death for the next hour crying my heart out and beating myself up about it. After having my moment I took a shower. Quick and easy…I got out. I threw on a red flannel with black skinny jeans and put on a black Bennie. I then looked at the time. 3:52 I grabbed my keys and got in the car. This is a celebration. It Amillia’s birthday. I need to be happy.
I pulled up to the store and got out and bought some cupcakes. I also got a candle for Amillia’s cupcake. After buying the stuff I went back in the car and drove to Amillia’s. I got there faster than I thought. "Hey Vic!" Sam beat me. Damn. I waved at her and mad way towards her and amillia. I got to them and pullled out the cupcakes. "Brought chocolate and vanilla" she looked at them and smiled. "I'll pass Vic, uh Jaime and the guys are on their way so I think we should wait for them till they get here. I shook my head and put the cupcakes down. We stood in silence and just stared at Amillia’s grave. "Guys!" Jaime yelled I turned around and saw that they had flowers and one box present they made their way over to me and Sam and Amillia. We all gave them his. "So what did y'all bring” Sam asked. Tony put the flowers down “Just some flowers and a present for Amillia.” I took the present from them and placed it down. “So I brought cupcakes in case yall want one” Mike laughed “these cupcakes are cute and small I'll take like the whole box.” I rolled my eyes once everyone got a cupcake. I got a cupcake and grabbed the little candle stick from my pocket and placed it on to one of the vanilla cupcakes. I lit the candle on fire. Sam then began to sing. "Happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy birthday dear Millia happy birthday to you" she ended up in tears Jaime ran over to hug her. "Sam please don't start to cry because if you cry I'll end up crying." she smiled don't worry Jaime. She dried her eyes. We then all started talking about what's going to be happening soon.
Later on everyone began to get ready to leave. We each said our farewells and went our own ways. The guys asked if I was okay with being alone and I was. I drive back home with the left over cupcakes. I got home and went straight to drinking. Fuck I just need a drink to calm me down.
2 hours pass.
I them went to the kitchen and saw the cupcakes. "Amillia come over here I have something for you" I waited for her. For about ten minutes. "Amillia did you hear me? I have a surprise for you" I then got up and threw the cake. This was it I’m fucking done pretending that she’s still alive. I know she not fucking asleep. I know she’s dead and it’s my god damn fault. "WHATS SO FUCKING WRONG WITH ME THAT NOTHING GOOD WILL STAY IN MY LIFE!?!?"I yelled at the wall tears streaming down my face. "ANSWER ME!!"I yelled angrily as my voice echoed throughout the house. I bunched my fist up and punched the wall leaving a small hole quarter sized hole. I continued to punch it making the hole bigger causing my knuckles to bleed."AMILLIA!'I yelled while sobbing "it should have been me." I whispered to myself. I grabbed a bottle of jack and started drinking and drinking everything around my slowly dancing around my vision. Then she came into the kitchen wearing the dress she was buried in
"Vic, you know I love you and I wish I could be here with you but I'm belong somewhere else with Yessi. She has your smile you would've loved her," She said her voice soft and quiet yet relaxing and calming. "Vic I need you to stop beating yourself up about Yessi's and my death. There was no way you would've known what was going to happen that night. It wasn't your fault. You have a lifetime ahead of you forget about me every once in a while and try having some fun." she said shaking her hips emphasizing the word 'fun' I smiled at the thought of her dancing. "I will always love you also the ring was beautiful I couldn't imagine anything prettier." She said as she started walking away and into the room. "Wait AMELIA stop please." but she was gone. How could I not blame myself for her death maybe if I had gone with her this would have been different. Maybe she would still be living, maybe I would have died with her. I kept drinking from the bottle of jack as I sat in my empty room I once shared with the love of my life.
After all that has happened it was my fault because I was neglecting the only person I loved and cared about outside my family and friends. I don't care if we were dating that long I knew she loved me and she knew I loved her so much I had to marry her I wanted her to be part of my family. I wanted her to meet my parents and I know they would've have instantly clicked I mean who couldn't love Amillia. I took her for granted the day I let her go. I should have cherished every moment with her. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from turning her down that dreadful night.
If only I could.
A/n - OMG GUYS I FINISHED! so this story had a sad ending and this was acually my goal not trying to sound bad but i wanted a fanfic were it wasnt happy endings i got sick of those thats why its like this...sorry but i dont know maybe the next story will have a happy ending. THANK YOU GUS FOR ALL THE READS THAT MEans thw world to me yall where the main reason why i kept writing. Bandsbitchez lol girl you where one of my main motives to write XD anyways i would love it if you guys can comment down your favorite chapter or part or the story ill write new story soon promise! Until next time ESES!. - PTvFUenTes #thuglifetillidie