I Want To Travel The World

A tear escaped her eye as the plane doors closed. Her hands covered her mouth as a sob escaped. This wasn’t what she wanted. All she wanted was to see the world. To forget all her worries, to live, to laugh, to create memories of her own. But that wasn’t what destiny had planned out for her. No, it was so much more complicated than that. So complicated, that she was now doubting her decision. All her decisions. All the decisions she had made during her trip. She doubted it all, as the tears ran down her cheeks, leaving a trail of mascara behind them. Just like she had left him behind.


2. 2)


Day 1 Australia – South Africa.

“Dear Journal,

I cannot believe that I’m finally doing this. It’s unbelievable. It’s finally happening.  I’ve wanted to do this for so long, and for it to finally happen, is the most amazing feeling in the world. I can’t wait to make memories of my own. It’s weird, you know? I’ve never really been out of my hometown, yet, here I am, on my way to and airport in Sydney. It’s crazy.

I can still remember the first time I left my hometown. Like I’d ever forget it. I can still remember all the butterflies in my stomach when I had gotten my first suitcase, and how excited I had been. I won’t ever forget what it felt like. To get in the car and just drive. Dad and I were blasting old 80’es songs the whole way to his hiding spot.

It was just him, no mom no Kyle, and me. Just him and me.  I can still feel how the sun would warm up my face when I was running around on the beach. How the wind would softly blow my hair around. I can even taste the salt that was in the air. Crazy, I know.

I can remember how the sound of the crashing waves, lulled me to sleep at night. How dad woke me up one morning, before the sun had even thought about rising, just so I could see all the colors on the sky, when the sun slowly started appearing.

I remember all the fun I had at the fair. I still have the stuffed monkey that I won in one of those annoying claw machine games. I had used almost all my money on the machine, but then out of nowhere, I actually got it.

I can remember how I had run over to my dad yelling ‘look daddy! Look! I won this stuffed monkey!’ I can still see the smile he had given me before he had picked me up, spun me around until my stomach hurt from all the laughing, and asked me what its name was. Proudly, I had felt him up in front of me, like in The Lion King, and announced that his name was Mr. Spaghetti.

All those memories made on a single week. Wonder how many I can make in all this time that I’m away?  I wonder what’s going to happen. Will I get stuck in a country and have to work to get to another one? Will I meet a celebrity when I’m visiting the US? Am I going to fall in love? Ha, no. That is never going to happen, even though; they say that everything can happen. I cannot wait to set my legs on foreign land. It’s gonna be amazing. 

So what do you say? Do you want to travel the world? Do you want to explorer new places and old traditions? Do you want to try all different kinds of new and exciting food? What was that? I can’t hear you. You have to say that louder. Yes? You do want to travel the world? Then fasten your seat belt, because the plane is about to take off! World. Here. I. Come!”

She tightened her seatbelt as the flight attendant gave the instructions. She smiled as she leaned back in her seat, closed her eyes, and felt her body take off, into the morning sky.

When the gate doors opened, and she stepped out, she felt something she had never felt before. It was strange, it was uncomfortable, and yet, it was new and exciting. Her smile wouldn’t leave her face as she walked over to find her suitcase. She was tired, yes, but she was so excited, that she didn’t even feel it. All she felt, was relief.

As she waited for her suitcase to arrive at the baggage claim, she took it as an opportunity to look around. She wasn’t staying here for long, just a short three days before she had to continue to Argentina for a stopover. But there was so much she wanted to see, that it suddenly confused her, why she hadn’t booked more time for herself in the beautiful South Africa.

But she didn’t let that bring her down. Because she had taken time in her schedule to do what she really wanted to do. It was scary, dangerous and something she never thought she would have gotten herself into on purpose; cage diving with the Great White Sharks.

Just the thought of doing it, made her stomach go crazy, but she wasn’t going to be the one to back out. She was on this trip to experience new things, to test her limits and push her boundaries. And that was what she was intending on doing. She had purchased a waterproof camera so that she could film and take pictures even when she was under water. She had bought a Go-Pro so that she could film her adventures without actually having to hold the camera.

When she saw the lime green suitcase she had bought, (she had bought it that bright so that she was sure she would be able to notice it and because she actually really liked that color) she reached out and grabbed it. She pulled out the small handle, as she swung her backpack over her shoulder and walked out of the airport. Ready to face anything and everyone who came to face her. She was more than ready to take South Africa with storm.

The small Bed-And-Breakfast room she was going to be staying at for the short time she was there was more comfortable than she had thought. The single bed and the white curtains that covered the window that faced the streets from the third floor, gave her the perfect view.

She allowed herself to close her eyes, breathe for a few seconds, before she stripped out of the grey sweatpants, and lose t-shirt she was wearing, and changed to a pair of denim shorts and a crop top in baby blue. She put her sunglasses on her head, grabbed her bag, phone, key and wallet as she walked out on the streets of the South African city she was staying in.

Grabbing her camera from her bag, she switched it on and took a picture of the sign that had the place she was staying at, names on it. Smiling, she walked down the streets in the search of some food. She was starving. Airplane food wasn’t exactly the best, but she wasn’t complaining as she found a small café where she sat down and looked at the menu.

She had made one rule; she had to try at least one thing she had never tried before, in every country she put her legs in. That was why she was now debating whether to order crocodile or rock lobster. As the waiter approached her, she asked for help to decide, the young South African man smiled at her warmly as he told her about the two very different meals. Finally agreeing with herself, she went for the rock lobster and thanked the waiter for his help as he took the menu and walked inside with her order.

Meanwhile, as she was waiting for her food to arrive, he kicked off his shoes as he threw himself on the king-size bed, face down. They had just gotten of stage, and he was exhausted to say the least. He inhaled and exhaled a few times before the rest of the band stepped into the hotel room they were staying at for the two shows they had there.

All he wanted to do, was to strip out of his clothes and go to bed. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen. He knew that his bandmates would storm through the door at any minute now. And just then, the door swung open, just to reveal the three boys he called his best mates.

They were chatting away about tonight’s show, as they took a look at him. He had been feeling weird lately. He had to drag himself out of bed. He had to drag himself into putting on clothes, and he had to drag himself on stage. Which was the weird part? He loved being on stage in front of thousands of people who came, just to see them. Didn’t he?

It was like he was in a daze. He did the same thing day in and day out. He woke up, got dressed, drove to the place they had their concerts at, had a sound check, went to the dressing room, slept for a few hours before they had an interview, then he slept again.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him, he was living out his dream! He did what he loved, what he would always love. But… It was just like something was missing. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He knew it sounded silly, because of course he could breathe. But, it felt like it didn’t go all the way down.

His eyes were always heavy and the smile that had become one of his trademarks was always forced on for the health of the band, when he was out in public. When he wasn’t, this was what he’d be doing. Lying with his face down, feeling numb.

That was how he felt. Numb. He had never felt like this before. It was strange to him. He had always been the shy, awkward happy guy, but ever since he had noticed that he had to force himself out of bed, it had only gotten worse. The only way he could describe it was, that it was like drowning, expect, he could see everyone around him breathing.

His best mates were worried about him. They had never seen him like this. It wasn’t like he was sad or depressed, he… He just couldn’t find the strength to do anything. He was always thinking, but when he tried to put words to his thoughts, it never came out right. He was always missing something when he talked about it, and he felt like no one understood anyways, so he had stopped. Now he just told everyone that asked that he was tired.

And if a fan came up to him in public and pointed it out, he’d say the same thing every time; “I’m just tired babe. Traveling the world can be tough, but I do it for you guys. Because I love you.”  And they believed him. They would normally just go back to fangirling over them, no one ever seemed to notice the dead eyes he had, or the heavy sigh that left his lips. He was all alone. All alone with the weight he had to carry all alone since no one seemed to understand him. He was drowning, and he couldn’t find his way to the surface. 

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