You didn’t have the courage to go downstairs and face anybody, not even Tyler. After you’ve cried it all out and got dressed, you sneaked out through the back door and called a cab home, not sure if you would be able to walk home without crying. He couldn’t do this with you, he just couldn’t. Even if he wasn’t as big of a jerk as everyone thought he was, he just couldn’t become committed so suddenly, and it hurt you so much to finally realize that. Once you got home, you spent a long time having a bath, just lying there thinking about things, trying to wash Niall off of you. You decided not to tell anything to anyone just yet. No one had to know you hooked up again. Jake heard you two were inside, but he didn’t know what happened and you weren’t going to tell him a single thing about it. Besides, you didn’t want to be with him, you just wanted to hang out, which were two different things and he had no right to get upset. You never promised him anything. Okay, you did choose the world’s biggest asshole Niall over him, and he was nothing like Niall, so he had the right to be mad, but that’s the way it was. You couldn’t change your feelings for Niall, unfortunately, but you shouldn’t string Jake along, so you decided to give up on both of them. It was the only thing you could do.
Tyler was not happy to hear what happened when he called you tomorrow to ask about your night with Jake. Since you left without saying a word, he thought you had spent the night with Jake when the truth was much different.
-So you’re telling me you didn’t hook up with Jake?-the tone of his voice told you he was really surprised.-How come? I mean, you went upstairs alone, what could have gone wrong?
You thought about lying to him at first, but there was a slim chance he already found out. Even if he didn’t, he probably would. What if Jake tells him he heard you talking to Niall? He’d kill you if you lied.
-Niall showed up and it kind of ruined the mood for me, so I went home.-you said the partial truth.
-You’re stupid. I’m sure it didn’t ruin the mood for Niall, I couldn’t be more sure of that.-he snorted.-Poor Jake. You have to make up for this!
-I don’t want him. I’m just gonna mess him up if he has real feelings and if he hasn’t, I’m gonna mess myself up and I don’t know which of the two is worse, to tell you the truth.-you sighed and sat down on the sofa, not wanting to hang up on him yet.-I’m just gonna lay low for a while and concentrate on college, I need to pass this semester.
-Girl, don’t change the subject, you’re not telling me everything, are you? So, Niall showed up.-he cleared his throat.-What the hell did he want from you? Didn’t he see that you were up there with Jake? You two were upstairs all alone, it’s like he’s stupid. It was obvious you were getting it on with Jake, I don’t know why he had to ruin everything.
-He wanted to talk, I guess. Besides, I wasn’t getting it on with Jake, I really didn’t think about it. Niall just wanted to talk about us, we told each other it’s over and that was it. It’s over, Tyler.-you sighed.
-Are you sure? It’s not exactly Niall’s style to go with a girl upstairs to talk. Not his style at all, and I’m afraid it’s not your style, either, when it comes to him.-he cleared his throat.-Your story sounds like bullshit.
-Okay. We did it, but then we…-he interrupted you in the middle of your sentence.
-Girl, bye!-he yelled and hung up.
You kept staring at the screen and couldn’t believe that he would actually hang up on you. You deserved it for trying to hide the truth from him, though. He called again in a few minutes.
-I just did that for dramatic effect, but you are one dumb ass skank! You’re my friend and I love you, but you’re so dumb sometimes, it hurts!-he yelled at you without even stopping.-What the hell are you doing, going upstairs with Jake just to fuck his best friends minutes later?! Are you out of your mind? That’s a jerk thing to do, Niall’s rubbed it off on you. He’s the one who does that shit to people, not you! How would you feel?
Just as you went to explain what really happened and how you felt about it, he interrupted you again.
-No, wait, how did you feel when Niall fucked Jessie? Remember that? You were fucked up. Yeah, well that’s how Jake feels right now, probably. What kind of a fucked up thing you’ve got going on there? Both of you are so dumb, I can’t even start to explain my anger towards you.-he sighed.-What happened then? Spill it out, bitch.
-I know, I’m sorry, but I never told Jake I’d be with him. Niall showed up and told me he could care, and then we had sex. He got all cocky about it, and I realized it was all about the sex. He did act nice and said some nice things, but that doesn’t mean anything to him. It’s not real.-you didn’t notice you were crying until a tear trickled down to your lips and you felt the salt in your mouth.-I just believed it all because I have feelings for him, I feel sorry for him and I want to be there for him, and all he wants it sex, and it hurts, Ty, it really hurts, I don’t deserve this.
-Baby, don’t cry, come on!-his voice changed because he realized just how hurt you were.-I’ll come over and cuddle with you and you’re gonna feel better. It’s just who he is, he can’t change. I don’t think you should feel sorry for a guy like that, he really doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve someone like you. There are a bunch of good guys out there and you just don’t notice them because of Niall. If you looked around, you’d notice them. You’re a gorgeous, smart girl who isn’t a slut, do you know how rare is to find that? Everyone’s looking for a girl like you, you could make someone so happy just by talking to him, and I know it’s hard, but baby, you’ve gotta move on.
You sniffed, but you still couldn’t speak because of the tears.
-I know it’s hard, but you have to get over him. Do you really want to spend so much time on someone who treats you like shit? You don’t, you can do so much better!
You sniffed again, and thanked him before hanging up. You hated yourself for crying like a little bitch about a guy. There were people with much bigger problems than yours, and the fact that you were hurt about a guy wasn’t even that bad, it was your own fault. You weren’t that kind of person, you didn’t get attached to anyone ever, and you couldn’t understand why Niall was the only exception to the rule. He really did treat you like shit, but you still continued to care. Tyler just told you everything you’ve been denying this whole time, everything was true. If it’s over, it’s over, you just had to deal with it.
You’ve never felt more nervous about going to college than you’ve felt on next Monday morning, knowing you’d see both Niall and Jake. Also, since Tyler came over on Saturday and talked to you about Niall, he was pissed off at him even more, and you knew that Niall shouldn’t play with Tyler ever again, but the question was if he knew that. Just one thing could sent Tyler over the edge when it came to you, and you appreciated it, but you didn’t want trouble, especially with Niall. You just wanted to try to forget him, and you decided to do that by completely ignoring him.
You didn’t want Jake to hate your guts, but you expected it. You’d hate a guy too if he ditched you for you best friend, it wasn’t a good thing of you at all. You were more scared of Niall losing Jake, but you didn’t want to say that to Tyler. Niall had only a few close friends, and his closest one was Jake, and you didn’t know what would happen to him if he lost Jake as well. His life wasn’t that good already, and it would only get worse after losing his best friend. However, it was entirely his fault. He wanted to prove something to someone, probably himself, and he had to have you. He didn’t even care about Jake that night, so you decided to stop worrying about that, and you did just fine on that until you spotted them standing near their lockers. You walked past them with Tyler, hoping nobody would say a word, and just when you were passing them, you sneaked a glance in their direction.
Niall was leaning against the locker and he looked towards you as well, but he just nodded slightly, his face showing no emotion whatsoever. Jake, on the other hand, showed too much emotion, much more than you expected, that is. He was grinning at you, so you smiled back and then continued walking.
Something wasn’t right. If Jake knew about you and Niall, why wasn’t he angry at you? Why wasn’t he angry at Niall for showing up and making a move on you? You couldn’t understand that, so you concluded that Jake couldn’t possibly know about it. And if he didn’t know, it meant that Niall didn’t say a thing. But maybe he would eventually, there was always a chance for that. They’re still friends, they’re both acting like it’s all good. But you’ve seen the rage in Niall’s eyes when you’ve talked about Jake, he doesn’t want you two to get together, but he doesn’t want to get together with you, either. You realized just how much you’ve screwed everything up by hooking up with Niall, ever. You should have walked away when Tyler warned you about him. You’ve let yourself fall for him even though it was obvious he had no intention of doing the same.
-Hey, Y/N, wait up!-you heard a voice yelling at you when you were walking towards the bus stop after your last class that same day. You froze since the first thought was that it was Niall’s voice.
You turned around to see Jake running towards you. He was out of breath when he caught up with you and judging by the look on his face, he didn’t know a thing about you and Niall.
-Listen, I was just wondering if you’d like to hang out this week?-he scratched the back of his head, probably because he was nervous.-Like go out for a casual drink or go see a movie or something?
You felt bad for turning him down, but it had to be done. You couldn’t do this, not when Niall and you got together the other day. If you went out with Jake, Niall would probably tell him you guys hooked up and then you’d look like a lying bitch. It was best for everyone if you just walked away.
-I can’t, I’m really busy, I have a lot of studying to do, you know how it is.-you smiled, realizing how awkward the situation was for the both of you.
-Oh, that sucks.-he nodded.-And what about Friday? There’s this huge birthday party, three people are celebrating their birthdays. Everyone’s gonna come, you should come, too.
Tyler already told you about that party and you told him you’d be there, so if you said no to Jake now and then showed up, you’d be a bitch and he’d look like a total loser, and you couldn’t do that to him. He was an okay guy.
-Yeah, I guess I could come.-you smiled.-Listen, I’ve got to run, I’m gonna miss the bus.
-I’m taking the same bus as you, mind if I join?
You didn’t know a way to say no to him. How could you say no and then take a ride in the same bus as him for twenty minutes? It would be so awkward, you wouldn’t be able to handle it. He seemed happy when you said you don’t mind. The bus arrived shortly after you walked to the station, so you didn’t have to sit at the station with him, but he took the seat next to you on the bus and talked to you about the class you took together, he asked you about the new chapter and some things that would be on the test, just to keep the conversation going.
-Why are you asking me this? There are a bunch of people with much higher grades than mine, I don’t really know half of the things you’ve mentioned.
-Well, you’re not like that.-he shook his head.-You’re one of the smart ones, but you don’t realize it, so it’s easier to talk to you.
-What are you on about?-you chuckled.
-Oh, come on, you know everything! I’ve seen you read about that writer ten minutes before the test and you aced it, some people studied their asses off and failed. And by saying you’re not like that I meant you don’t see other people as idiots, like those straight A’s people. I know you helped Niall with that assignment, he’d suck at it if he wasn’t working with you, that was really nice of you.
Your stomach churned at the sole mention of Niall’s name. That would usually happen when his name popped up in a conversation, but this time it was worse because Jake was obviously hitting on you, not knowing you had sex with his friend just a few days ago.
-That’s not my credit, don’t worry.-you got up.-This is my stop, see you at college!
-You two, please stay after class.-the teacher pointed at you and Niall and you both froze.
You had to sit together during that class, but you weren’t communicating Actually, Niall arrived late on purpose just to avoid those five minutes you had before each class so that he wouldn’t have to chat with you, you were sure about that. During the whole class, his back was turned on you as he talked to someone next to him, completely ignoring you, and you felt hurt, but also good about it, and you didn’t know how that was even possible.
If Niall talked to you, you knew you’d just start imagining things that weren’t really there. But seeing him ignore you was awful just as much as that. Why did he tell you he was gonna stay if he didn’t? You knew he wasn’t the lovey dovey type, but you never thought of him as a liar. On the other hand, you told him to stay away if he can’t care about you and that’s exactly what he was doing. The only thing you could do was to suck it up. You were the one who asked for it. He wanted to have sex, and you had to go and start mentioning feelings, it suits you right. Knowing all that, you still couldn’t resist sneaking a peek at him every now and then. The scent of his perfume was driving you mad, because it brought back the memories you’ve smelled it before and it was when you two had sex or had any kind of sexual contact, and you knew you shouldn’t be thinking about that.
After the class was dismissed, you and Niall stayed behind to see what the professor wanted.
-You’ve been doing great so far, but your last assignment wasn’t as good as the previous ones.-he looked at you while talking, presuming Niall didn’t even write his part.-If you want to get an A, I expect all of the assignments to be perfect. I’ll forget about this one if the next one is as good as it usually is, alright?
Niall and you said yes in union and he told you to go, so when you walked out of the classroom and down the hall together, you felt like disappearing. It was so weird walking next to him and not talking to him, not even looking at him, and even weirder that he was doing the same. He wasn’t even trying to look your way.
-So, what’s up?-you shocked both of you by breaking the silence.
-Nothing, you?-he replied, his eyes still fixated on something in front of him as you two walked towards the end of the hall.
-What’s going on?-you asked directly, not wanting to avoid it any longer.
He stopped walking and turned around to face you, so you stopped too. He looked enraged.
-You told me to get lost, and I did it. Don’t give me shit about it, okay?-he gave you the thumbs up sarcastically and walked away, leaving you there.
You decided that that would be the last time you tried to make a conversation with Niall. He was acting like you were the one who ditched him when it was exactly the opposite. He’s acting like you hurt him, like you told him he wasn’t good enough, when in fact he was the one who told you that, indirectly, though, but it still counted. You told him to stay away if he doesn’t have feelings for you and he did exactly that. Niall just liked to think of other people as the cause of problems instead of him. You didn’t do a thing to him.
The rest of the week was the same as the first day, Jake tried to talk to you as much as he could, Niall avoided you as much as he could and Tyler was being his usual bitchy self and he glared at Niall all the time, but you knew he was doing that because he thought it was the right thing for you. He just wanted to keep Niall as far away as possible from you. Tyler wasn’t stupid, he knew how you felt. That’s exactly why he tried to keep you away from him.
On Friday, he came to pick you up for that birthday party and you told him you were nervous about the party. You had a bad feeling about it, but you didn’t want to stay at home all alone, thinking about the fun you could be having.
-I don’t even know if Niall’s gonna be there, maybe these people aren’t even his friends.-Tyler tried to comfort you.-Jake invited us to a group birthday, God knows whose is it!
Besides, there are going to be so many people, you won’t even notice if Niall’s there or not. And I’ve got your back, I’d like to kick him one more time, and if he tried anything, I’ll get to do it.
-That won’t be necessary. I just really hope he won’t come!-you shook your head.-That’s all I want right now.
-Don’t worry, it’s gonna be fine.-Tyler put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer.
Tyler didn’t want to leave your side at all during the party because it turned out Niall was there after all. In fact, not only was he there, it was his fucking birthday party. He celebrated with two other guys, but that was his party and Jake was the one who invited you and you felt like an idiot for not asking whose party was it. Now it looked like you came there to get him jealous or to get revenge or something, and that wasn’t your plan at all. However, Tyler was right about there being many people, so you just saw Niall twice, but you didn’t think he saw you. As usual, he was surrounded by a bunch of girls and everyone was paying attention to the things he was saying, things were right back where they were when you just met.
Tyler didn’t want to risk anything, so he stuck by you for the entire night, except when Jake came over to talk. Tyler’s rooting for Jake was so obvious it hurt, and Jake took it as a sign of you liking him, so he talked to you even more, but you didn’t mind. It was over between you and Niall, it was time to move on. Seeing Niall flirting with other girls reminded you of the situation you two were in. He was leaning against the wall with his hand on this girl’s shoulder as he talked about something, and all of the girls laughed at the same time at whatever he said. How come you didn’t see this side of him? These were the girls he usually went out with, those dumb sluts who think that they can get popular by fucking the entire football team, the same bitches who laugh at everything a guy says, thinking it makes guys attracted to them even more. You weren’t anything special, but fuck it, you were definitely better than that.
-So, how do you like the party? You don’t seem to be having fun.-Jake frowned and handed you a beer.
-It’s okay. I didn’t know it’s gonna be Niall’s party, that’s all. Didn’t think I’d be seeing him tonight.-you shrugged.-But it’s okay.
-If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to.-he looked straight into your eyes.-You don’t have to be here. Sorry for not telling you it was his party, I figured you wouldn’t wanna come and this is like the only place when I can actually talk to you without you having to rush to a class or something. I can take you home if you want to go, though.
You sighed and thought about it for a second. However tempting that may have sounded, you didn’t want to Niall see you walking out of here like a loser, he’d think it was because of him, and it would be.
-No, no, it’s okay, Tyler’s here with me, so I’m cool. Are you having fun?
Jake gave you a big grin.
-Now I am.-he nodded, making you look at the floor and blush.
-Thanks.-you finally said and he nodded.
You looked over his shoulder.
-I think Niall wants to talk to you, but he doesn’t want to interrupt us.-you looked in Niall’s direction, and Jake followed your lead.
Niall was standing in the middle of the room and glancing at you two, but he didn’t want to come any closer, he was keeping his distance. Jake told you he’d be back soon and not to go anywhere before walking over to Niall. They walked out of the room together and you went to grab another drink. Why not make the most out of it since you were already stuck in there with people you couldn’t stand? The thing that bothered you the most is that Niall was the one who was making up the rules, and not you. You didn’t want to play with him, you didn’t want games, you just wanted honesty, and he always changed the rules as he pleased. Usually, he’d come over if you were talking to a guy and tell him to fuck off, but this time he didn’t even make an annoyed face, even though you were talking to his best friend. Besides he didn’t even let strangers talk to you in front of him when you were at a party and now he was letting his best friend hit on you so obviously after he told you last week that he is better than Jake and that you shouldn’t be hooking up with him. Catching up with Niall and his mood swings was too much for you, and you decided to just let it go. He was a great guy, he was good in bed, but that was all there was to him. Jake had more than that, a lot more.