-I can’t believe you hit him, you jerk!-you cupped your face in your hands and propped them up on your elbows, rubbing your eyes with the bottom of your palms.
Tyler laughed loudly, happy with himself about what he had done to Niall. He was always saying how he’d love to beat him up, but you never took it seriously. You knew he could beat the shit out of him if he wanted to, but Niall never did anything that bad to deserve it. He just took it a bit too far at the party, in Tyler’s opinion so he hit him once, but the punch was so strong it made Niall pass out, which wasn’t pleasant to watch, not for you anyway. Tyler got kicked out of the party, and you followed him out, knowing he did it for you. However, you felt bad about not checking up on Niall after that, you didn’t know what happened to him.
-That fall was the funniest shit I’ve ever seen, I wish I had it on tape, I’d rape the replay button, girl!-he chuckled.-He just feel flat on his ass and passed the fuck out. I wish it stayed that way until he gets some sense into his head. And don’t give me shit about it, your white ass didn’t know what to do. You just stood there and were like “oh, he fucked someone else two minutes ago, but maybe I could listen to what he has to say“. No, just no. Don’t listen to what he has to say, because it’s all bullshit, we both know it.
You sighed loudly, getting upset about him missing your point. It wasn’t about the fact that Niall fucked someone else. It was about the fact that he didn’t do anything to you, you agreed with him on the sex thing and he didn’t deserve to get punched like that. The thing that made you feel sorry about him was his mom who was obviously a person with a bunch of problems surrounding her. No one could stay perfectly normal around a woman like that, and you understood that. His little brother seemed so happy to see Niall, and Niall was acting so sweet and protective towards him, and he let you see the good side of him, even if it was just for a minute. He wasn’t that bad, he was just forced to be bad because of his circumstances and you felt like he could be that person around other people, too, but only if he tried. His problem was that he didn’t want to try, not at all.
-Come on, he didn’t say anything that bad, he’s just like that.-you shrugged.-Once you get used to him, he can be nice, I guess.
-Bitch, pause.-he shoved his palm in your face to get you to stop talking.-Did you just call him nice? Nice? A guy who fucked you over, a guy who told you he’s only interested in your cunt, a guy who explicitly told you he’d never care for anyone, a guy who fucked a girl while you were in the other room and then came back wanting to fuck you?! Really? You’ve lost your goddamned mind.
-Oh, come on, that sounds awful, but it wasn’t like I didn’t know any of it.-you caught yourself defending him.-I knew exactly who he was after the first time we did, but I was still attracted to him after it and I wanted to do it with him. But now I just can’t because I know he wouldn’t get attached and I would, that’s why I’m stopping this, not because he fucked someone else.
-You’re stupid then.-he crossed his hand over his chest and rolled his eyes.-You can’t let yourself do this! Find someone else to fuck from now on, alright? I’m not taking care of your shit anymore. I can’t do this!
-I’m not asking you to do anything, alright, and I’m not giving you shit about it.-you sighed.-I just didn’t want you to hit him, I was handling it.
-What kind of fuckery is that? He fucked her, we both know it.-he pulled you towards him and stared into your eyes.-Do you really want to be that kind of girl who’d fuck him under any price? Is he really that good? Is it worth it?
-No.-you swallowed the lump in your throat.-He’s not. He’s just really good at it, and the last time was better than it usually is, he was different. He was kissing my forehead and leaning his head on mine and doing all the weird shit, he wasn’t himself. He’s the type of guy who doesn’t even want to know that feelings can even exist and he told me it’s not true he doesn’t give a shit about me. For him, it’s a big statement, or at least I think it is. I’m pretty sure he never said that to anyone before me.
-Listen to yourself, you’re grasping on straws he’s throwing at you, and he’s only doing that because he wants his dick inside of you, can’t you see that? Just look at what you just said - you’re happy because he said it’s not true he doesn’t give a shit about you.-his facial expression showed he was angry once again.-What kind of a fucked up emotion is that actually? What does it’s not that I don’t give a shit about you mean? There are guys who’d tell you they love you everyday and you’re fine with that? No, you’re not going to be one of those desperate girls, I’m not letting you do that to yourself, you’re worth a lot more than that. You can’t change him, you’ll fuck yourself up. Stop it.
You fiddled with the pencil in your hand. His words hurt a bit. It was all true. Why were you thinking that his words meant something? They didn’t, you just added the context you wanted to add because it sounded better in your head that way, you had an excuse for having sex with him once again. Men would say just about anything to get laid, and Niall was one of them, and he didn’t even say anything nice.
-I know. I told you already, I’ve told him it’s over.-you bit your lower lip.-I can’t get attached and I know I will because I just can’t have sex with someone and not care. So I told him no, and then you punched him in the face.
-He had it coming, and don’t you even dare give me shit about him, okay? He deserved it.-he stopped when he noticed you were upset.
Tyler wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you rested your head onto his shoulder.
-It’s alright, you’ll move on.-he nudged you.
You just hoped he was right and that it would happen soon. You couldn’t believe you’ve gotten yourself into this mess. It was obvious from the very beginning that Niall was a prick and you knew it, but you were looking for something that clearly wasn’t there. There was a bit of hope in you that maybe he could change, but it wouldn’t be because of you, that’s for sure. He needed to change because of himself, and you knew he wouldn’t do that. He was happy with his lifestyle and his girls, and it made you sad that the thing you had would end there, but it had to. There was no other way to continue it, you’ve taken in too far already.
Niall showed up for school tomorrow and it looked like he was pissed off at you, he didn’t even look in your direction, which was odd for him. There were no sex jokes directed at you, he didn’t say a single thing to you the whole morning and it wasn’t like him to act like that. He was talking to some of his friends for most of the class, not even glancing in your direction, and when it was time to leave, he ran outside just to avoid you and Tyler. It bothered you that he was acting like that because you felt like you did nothing wrong. Tyler was the one who hit him and besides, Niall did ask for it, you just didn’t want to admit that to Tyler, because he’d be over the moon after hearing you say that. Since you thought it was probably because his pride was hurt after getting knocked out, you wanted to apologize for that. He probably thought you told Tyler to pick a fight with him or something.
You got your chance for that at lunch break. Niall was sitting in a large circle on the lawn in front of the school and you were sitting with your friends on a bench nearby. You couldn’t keep your eyes away from him as you waited for the chance to talk to him. He moved away from his group of friends to make a phone call, and when he hung up, you got up and walked over to him. You could hear Tyler bitching about it, but you decided to explain it to him later.
-Niall!-you waved as you walked towards him and he smiled when he heard your voice, but his smile soon disappeared.
His nose looked bigger than usual, probably because it was still sore and he had a little cut under his eye. It must have looked even worse the day before and you felt sorry for him, knowing that his mom probably didn’t even notice he got beaten up. The situation at his home sucked and it made you sad.
-Hey.-he said and stuck his hands into his pockets.
-Listen, sorry about Tyler, he didn’t mean to hit you, he was drunk.-you smiled sympathetically.-You just pissed him off and all that, but that’s it.
-It’s alright.-he shrugged.-No hard feelings, I was a bit of a jerk towards you, which is of course none of his business. I don’t know what the fuck he’s doing around you all of the time, he was the one looking for it.
-I can’t believe you just admitted that.-you smiled, completely ignoring the last part.
-Yeah, well, I was, I don’t handle losing all that well, in case you haven’t noticed.-he shook his head.
Both of you froze as he said that and looked into each others eyes, stunned by his words. You were shocked to hear him say something like that, but he was even more shocked when he realized he said it out loud because it sounded like a big deal.
-It isn’t called losing when you give something up.-you managed to say at last, making him chuckle.
-It’s not that easy, I explained it already.-he shook his head and looked at you.-It’s just the way things are. That’s who I am, that’s how I do things.
-I know.-you replied, not wanting to talk about it anymore, knowing you’d get your hopes up for nothing.-So, about the assignment, I think it would be best if we just did our parts separately. When you do yours, send it to me and I’ll write it and that’s it. We’ve only got two assignments left since I did the one for Saturday already.
-Okay.-he sighed, not looking really thrilled about your decision.-Your call. I’ll send it to you on Sunday, then.
You bit your lip and stared at him, thinking about how it was possible that things between you guys got so awkward all of a sudden. Where were his sex jokes? Why wasn’t he trying to use his charm on you anymore? He just lost all of his interest for you, and it made you sad. You didn’t want this to happen this way, but apparently, you didn’t get a say in it. He just didn’t want to do anything with you anymore, and you had to accept that. Sex is the only way you have to be near Niall and since you refused it, it was all over. There was no way the two of you could ever be friends. You were too different for that.
-See you around.-you took a step backwards before turning around and walking over to the bench.
Angry Tyler was waiting for you there, you knew he was pissed by his facial expression.
-What the hell is your problem? All I want to know is why are you so dumb?-he hissed.
-Don’t worry, we just talked about not meeting up on Saturdays anymore. We’ll just do our thing on our own, he’ll send it to me, I’ll write the essay and that’s it.-you sighed.-No more Saturdays at Niall’s.
-Is that a sad look you’re giving me?-he lifted your chin.-That is a good thing! I’ll never understand you, you know he’s no good and now you’re sorry because he’s out of your life.
-Maybe I don’t want him to be completely out of my life.
-So, what, you want him to be your friend?-he raised and eyebrow and snorted.-Really? Like a guy like him could ever have girl friends! He doesn’t even talk to his male friends that much, I can only imagine what he would do with his girl friends. You want to be his fuck buddy, but you can’t, so you’re upset about it, don’t even try to lie to me about it.
-It’s true.-you scratched your neck and looked over to the circle in which Niall was sitting.
Apparently, he was looking at you as well, and when your gazes met, you both shifted them to your right, hoping the other one didn’t notice it, but you both did. You cursed yourself for being that stupid and looking at him, but you just couldn’t resist. He was wearing a tight white t-shirt and it fitted him perfectly, there wasn’t a girl around you that didn’t look his way.
-I just want him to be there, but he’s not that kind of guy, not even close, I just got my hopes up for nothing.-you shrugged.-I’ll get over it.
-Damn right you will!
Even though you and Niall had that agreement about the assignment, you secretly hoped you’d get a message from him asking you to come over. You wouldn’t go if you got that message, but it would just mean that all of this wasn’t in vain. He never took your no for an answer before, so it surprised you that he was doing that now. You secretly wanted him to try to persuade you to come over once more. If it ends the way it looks like it will, it was all in vain, you didn’t even get out the most you could out of it, you didn’t get your kicks. You didn’t feel for a second like you had him, and you wanted to. It was stupid of you, but you couldn’t stop what you were feeling. If Niall had been yours for a second, it would have been worth it.
When he didn’t text you on Friday night, you stalked his Facebook page and saw that he was attending some clubbing events on Friday and Saturday, which meant he had no plans of coming over or inviting your over to his tomorrow. You couldn’t help but go through his wall. Jessie liked all of his posts, even some video about a football game, and you were sure she didn’t know shit about football. He posted Your Sex Is On Fire by Kings of Leon just this afternoon and you clicked on the song, wanting to listen to it, even though you knew it by heart. You unintentionally clicked like, and then thought about unliking it, but you didn’t since you knew he’d get the notification anyway. It would be a stupid move to unlike it. You never knew he’d be into songs like that. Quite frankly, you didn’t know what he was into at all, you never talked about things like that, even though you concluded some stuff from your conversation when you spent some time with him at his place.
You were bummed out that you were apparently the only one at home while others, including Tyler, were out partying. Just then, the little red sign popped up and it meant you had a notification. Niall liked your picture. You were surprised since he was supposed to be at the party, and not home liking stuff over Facebook. You were even more surprised that he liked this picture of you fully dressed, no skin was showing, it was basically you sitting in a forest laughing. This wasn’t Niall’s style. If you had a picture in your bikini, he’d be the first one to like it. But this picture was nothing like that, and besides, you posted it last year, so he probably went through you pictures or your timeline, and you didn’t know why he’d do that. He wasn’t that type of guy.
Your chat window popped up, and of course it was from Niall.
You didn’t want to reply. He’d probably call you over and you were afraid of saying yes. Niall wanted only sex, he made it crystal clear when he fucked Jessie in front of you. That’s all you could get from him, and it wasn’t exactly what you wanted. You logged off and went to bed.
Tomorrow night was a party night for you and Tyler. Rebecca went out with you guys and she wouldn’t shut up about Niall. She still thought Niall was a good guy, even though he didn’t call her since the time they had sex and ignored her at college. You just couldn’t understand why she was so blind or stupid or both, but then you understood Tyler’s point of view. He was probably thinking the same thing about you. And he was probably right about both of you.
The party was at a frat house that Niall and Jake both belonged to, but they weren’t staying there because they lived near the college, just like you and Tyler. Some other guys were, though, and you knew everyone has sex at these parties in other people’s rooms. Tyler said that these parties were the bomb, and you really wanted to go to a one. It turned out you didn’t know almost anyone there because you weren’t in the frat and sorority cliques, you didn’t have time for that. Tyler was talking to some friends and you went to get yourself a drink when you spotted Jake. He came over and said hi, talking to you about the class you took together, but you were sure he wasn’t talking to you because of that class. He smiled at you all the time, and Niall was nowhere to be seen, so it was probably why Jake had the courage to come over and talk to you. You didn’t know why, but all of his friends seemed to be afraid of him, but you never saw Niall as a violent scary guy. You could never imagine Niall being violent towards anyone without a legit reason.
-You look bored.-Jake noticed.-We can go drinks shots if you want to, just to brighten up the mood.
You smiled at that, it was nice of him to care about that.
-I’m not really in the mood for drinking tonight.-you shook your head.-I have this assignment to finish and I didn’t even start, and if I get drunk, I won’t be able to get up on time to finish it.
-So how about some weed?-he winked and you nodded.
-Sure, no headache tomorrow!
-Okay, wait for me here, I have to go get it.-he touched your shoulder and walked off, and as he did that, he turned around and smiled at you.
He didn’t even look at the bunch of sluts which waved at him as he walked past them to the next room, which surprised you because he was one of the jocks. Tyler ran over to you immediately.
-What’s going on, did he make a move on you? Yes, yes, yes!-he did a little dance in front of you.
-What are you so hyper about?-you weren’t used to Tyler acting this weird.
He grabbed you by the arm and pulled you aside so that you could talk without the risk of being overheard.
-Listen, when we got drunk last week, Jake told me he has a thing for you, but apparently Niall told him to fuck off because he’s fucking you, and yes, he used that phrase, so Jake didn’t want to do anything. However, I might have told Jake that thing was over, oops.-he giggled.-Go for it, bitch, he’s a great guy! I don’t know why he’s hanging out with Niall.
Out of all the things Tyler told you, only one made you think. Niall told Jake to leave you alone. Niall didn’t want Jake around you. Niall wanted you for himself. Well, at least he did before Tyler kicked him in the face in a middle of a party. Tyler kept on talking, but you didn’t even listen, that thought kept running through your mind. However insignificant that information was to Tyler, it was important to you. It meant that there was something there, you weren’t the only one feeling it.
Jake came back and asked Tyler to join you two, but Tyler refused, and you knew he did it because he wanted to leave you alone, hoping you two would hook up, but after hearing this about Niall, there was no way you could do that. Jake proposed that you two go upstairs because taking weed outside wasn’t a smart idea, so you said yes. He took you to someone’s room, and it was pretty cool, you didn’t expect frat boys to be that tidy. You sat on the bed and you noticed just how awkward the situation was. You were in a room all alone with Jake, there was a party going on downstairs and there was a huge possibility that Jake thought he was gonna get laid.
He sat down next to you and asked you if you wanted to roll the joint and when you told him to do it, he walked over to the table and took out the weed, but then he realized he doesn’t have any tobacco so he went downstairs to get it, leaving you all alone. You sat there all alone, thinking of going home and pretending you got sick all of a sudden when you thought you heard Tyler’s voice down the hall, so you left the room and looked around, but there was no one there. You went to the other hall and shouted Tyler’s name, but all you could hear was some girl moaning, and you knew that Tyler wasn’t with her for sure, so you headed back to the room.
Just then, your phone rang and it was a text from Tyler.
walk up to the club like what up i got a big cooooock
You read it as you entered the room and you could see Jake sitting on the bed with the corner of your eye, so you started talking, while still looking at your phone.
-I thought I heard Tyler, but it was just some girl moaning.-you said and typed a reply to Tyler.
-That could be you.-he chuckled, and when you heard the voice which clearly wasn’t Jake’s, you looked up to see Niall smiling at you cockily.-Thinking of fucking my best friend, are you? Don’t be a naughty girl, it’s not you. Besides, I don’t think you could handle my spanks, so you’d better behave.
You swallowed the lump in your throat and managed to answer.
-No, we’re just about to have a smoke. Besides, I can fuck whoever I want.
-Yeah, the only problem is that you want me.-he leaned back and propped himself on one elbow, smirking.
-No, the only problem is that you want just aboutanyone.-you winked.-So you better get out, Jake’s gonna be back real soon.
Niall got up, brushed past you, and for a second you were scared that he was going to listen to what you had said and was going to leave, but he didn’t do that. As he walked past, the smell of his cologne hit you and you remembered just how good it was to smell it on his naked body. You heard him locking the door, and you turned around to face him. He had a playful smirk on his face, and it meant he was up to no good, just like the usual. But there was no point in that since Jake was coming.
-Ask me if I give a fuck about Jake coming back.