Shy Kisses

Hey, you... The one boy keeping me alive... Catching me when I fall. Saving me from myself. Never leaving my side when I need you. Pulling me close when I push you away. Telling me I'm beautiful when I say I'm not. Hurting those who push me around. Keeping me safe when I'm afraid. Making me feel like I'm always home. Holding me when I cry. Telling me you love me and holding my hand. Playing with my hair until I fall asleep. Saying you want to be more than my boyfriend. Kissing my open wounds. Cuddling and watching movies with me. Joking around and having endless fun with me. Making me smile when I don't want to. Forcing a laugh out of me when I think I can't be happy. Teasing me. Cuddling with me for no reason except that you just want to. Making me feel special. Calling me ridiculous names. Tickling me until I scream at you. Giving me sweet kisses. Never letting go. Dying inside when I am. Never lying to me. Dying for me. Loving me. Whispering sweet things to me. The boy I love.

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2. A small tear

I paced the room repeatedly, thinking. Ross watched from his bed, still snuggled up to his pillows and under the covers. 

"You all right?" He asked, his eyes following me.

"I'm fine." I said, but he stood up and grabbed onto my arm.

"You're not."

"I am, really." 

"Sweetie, you're my girlfriend. I know when you're fine or not." 

"Ross-"

His lips touched mine and his arms wrapped around my waist. I let my arms slip around his neck. I giggled, his lips leaving mine. I squirmed as he tickled my waist with his fingers.

"You're so beautiful." He said.

"I'm not." I muttered. 

"You're perfect, kitten." 

"No, I'm not."

"Listen to me. You're the most amazing girl I've ever met. You're beautiful and perfect. Don't ever say you aren't." 

He gently ran his fingers through my hair, calming my thoughts. I sighed and he kissed my forehead. He gently took me to the bed and gently sat me down, getting behind me and gently rubbing my shoulders. I relaxed and he placed a gentle kiss on my neck. I giggled, feeling him do it again. He suddenly turned me around by moving my head up to the pillows. I gasped, feeling scared. He went to kiss my neck again, but I screamed and kicked. He stopped and froze.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"G-Get off!" I cried.

"I wasn't going to-" 

"Get off of me!" 

"Iris, I-"

I pushed him off and tried to get out of the room, tears running down my cheeks, but he stopped me and grabbed my arm. He gently tugged me back to his chest and held me close, putting his chin on my head.

"You know I would never do anything to hurt or scare you like that. I'm sorry. I love you." He whispered, his lips in my hair.

"I love you, too..." I mumbled, hugging him. 

"You're cute."

"Shut up..."

"No." 

I rolled my eyes and kissed his cheek softly. He did the same thing he had done a moment ago, holding me down. I still felt scared, but I knew he wouldn't do anything bad to me. He just placed gentle kisses all over my neck and my face. 

"You should come move in with me. I get kinda lonely." He said, placing lingering kisses on my neck now.

"You actually want me around?" I asked, blushing a little. 

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I want such a beautiful girl around?" 

"Well... I just thought that-"

"I've heard enough. I want you here with me every day." 

I blushed a little more and he kissed down my neck. He seemed unsteady as he did this, making me sit up. 

"Ross-" He didn't let me finish before kissing me, both of us blushing like crazy. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck regardless and he smiled into the kiss. He pulled away and tucked my hair out of my face.

It made me feel special. Since middle school, girls have been all over him yet he chose me. 

"Iris, please move in with me. You're my one and only and I hate going more than five minutes without you." He said, his eyes locked with mine.

"You know I'd move in with you no matter what..." I said, his lips touching mine. 

He laid me back and wrapped me into his arms, hugging me close.

*

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*

I looked up from my box as I started to trip, looking at Ross. I began to blush and I couldn't look away. Ross was shirtless and sweaty, carrying my heavy boxes. I quickly looked away as he looked over, hurrying to put my box inside. When I placed it down, I turned and Ross stood behind me with a smile.

"Hey." He said, kissing my cheek.

I blushed harder at my strong, shirtless boyfriend. I looked down and he laughed at me. He grabbed his tank top and pulled it over his head, holding his arms out. 

"Better? Will you look at me now?" He asked. 

"No." I teased. 

He grabbed me and I shrieked. I broke free and ran from him. He didn't let me get far before he grabbed me and kissed my neck softly. I giggled like crazy. 

"Ross...!" I laughed, feeling his fingers tickling my waist.

Smiling, he turned me and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled away, making me smile.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you, too." I giggled, letting go.

I went for one of my boxes and opened one, making Ross grab me and hold me.

"Wait... Can I just talk to you for a minute?" He asked.

"Yeah, what's up?" I asked.

He carried me to the couch, sitting down with me in his lap.

"OK... We've been together for a few years, so... I was hoping that... Not today, but sometime soon... Maybe we could... Well... Lose ourselves to each other..." He said, blushing. 

I leaned in and shyly kissed him, making him kiss me back softly.

"Not today... I don't know when, but I hope we can someday." I said as we pulled away slightly. 

He gave me a smile and slowly began to kiss me, smiling as I gladly kissed him back. I pulled away after a moment.

"I have a test tomorrow. Will you help me study?" I asked.

"Anything for you." He said, smiling.

"Help me find my textbooks." I said.

He nodded and we ended up unpacking and putting things away before sitting down with a cup of coffee for him and tea for me.

*

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*

I woke as my alarm went off, Ross shutting it off quickly. He sighed as I sat up.

"Wait, five more minutes? I wanna hold you a little longer." He said, his hands on my waist. 

"No, but if you let me get ready, we can stop at the cafe and get some breakfast before I go to school." I said.

He smiled and I got up, heading into the bathroom. I quickly took a shower, changing into my favourite olive green tank top with my favourite dark denim jacket and my dark skinny jeans. I walked out to see Ross's door wide open as he stood shirtless, trying to find another one to wear as his jeans hung low. I blushed, my face heating up. 

"Ross! When you get changed, close the door!" I cried, walking quickly to the kitchen. 

I felt his breath on the back of my neck almost immediately. I blushed even more, his hands on my waist. 

"Sorry, I'm used to being alone." He said softly in my ear, kissing where my neck and shoulder met. 

He let his lips linger, making my heart pound. He placed another on my neck, lingering there. I blushed and walked away. 

"What's gotten into you? Asking to do more with me and just showing off? This isn't you." I muttered, pulling on my combat boots. 

He tossed on a white T-shirt and his converse, following me as I tossed my backpack over my shoulder and headed out the door. We got into his car and he went to take my hand as he drove. 

"Both hands." I said, staring straight ahead. 

"You love it when I hold your hand in the car. Is something up?" He asked.

"I'd ask you the same." 

"Nothing's up. I just really like that you're living with me and I like to show that I love you. You know that." 

"You know I hate my neck being touched."

"I was being careful."

"Not careful enough."

"Alright. Fine. Sorry."

It was too quiet, so I turned on the radio. He turned it off because he didn't like the song. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. 

I guess you don't know how much someone can bother you until you live with them. I guess we didn't have as much in common as I thought. I let a small tear slip. Was I making the right choice? 

"I love you... So much... Iris, don't forget that. Ever." He said finally, making me look at him with teary eyes.

"I love you, too..." I whispered.

I let him take my hand and we just held hands, hoping it would fix the broken seams. 

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