Starring the Akatsuki!

Role up! Role up! In the unknown, far away from any ninja village lives the hideout containing the most wanted S-Rank missin-nin in the ninja world. The Akatsuki. But what do they do when their funds are running low? Tobi: Put on a circus act, Senpai! Ladies and Gentlemen! After 'Pein' came up with the idea of running his own circus to earn a few extra pennies, who knew that something so childish could become such a disaster? Starring: The Akatsuki, with special guests Aya Uchiha and Reika Oshiro (from my other fanfictions!) So sit back, relax and enjoy a night of magic!


2. Opening Act

Kakuzu was alone in the Akatsuki hideout, one sunny afternoon. His partner Hidan went out to go and curse a few people (Kakuzu thinks) and all the other members were assigned to their own missions. Kakuzu did not believe that the mission would be worth profit and backed out before he was assigned to another pair with their mission. About ten times he counted his money which he stores in his briefcase and he clenched his fists as he finished counting the final wad of cash.

"Still not enough to satisfy." he muttered to himself, placing the cash back in the briefcase and snapping it shut. Slowly he got to his feet and strolled down the hall to his room. But it was when he looked down to the end of the hall and looked at the final door that he had a thought, "The basement is where the Akatsuki keep their funds. Interesting." he spoke to himself as he lingered past his room and to the final door.

Without hesitation, he twisted the handle of the door and opened it carefully, just in case any members came back early. Inside was a set of dusty wooden stairs leading down into darkness. To the side of the door was a drawstring, which happened to be the light to the basement. Kakuzu clicked the lights on and glanced down at the basement floor. It was pretty derelict and has been left useless for a short while. Kakuzu, with a steady step, reached the basement floor and looked ahead at a large steel safe which was the only thing in the room

The funds must be in there, he thought kneeling down in front of it and examining the lock, I know the code to this safe. Kakuzu had no reason to hesitate and then he smiled only very slightly to himself, Well, I am the treasurer of the Akatsuki after all. I must make sure this cash goes to some good use. And immediately he entered the code to the safe and opened the door. Kakuzu examined the content and sighed again, Not exactly a gold mine, but I guess this is better than nothing. and quickly he stuffed all of the cash in his briefcase, locked the safe back up and left the basement, making sure not to leave any traces at all.


"Back off Hidan! I need the money so I can buy new textiles! I cannot do my jutsu without it!" Reika shouted, running down the hall to the door to the basement.

Reika and Aya arrived back at the hideout at the same time as Hidan, and Reika and Hidan were arguing over who should get the funds for their own needs.
"Hell no, Reika, my situation is more important! Look at my necklace! One of my sacrifices managed to break it! I cannot get it fixed without money!" Hidan argued back, luckily not in an extremely foul mood.

Both members charged down the stairs of the basement, side by side and trying to squish past the other. Aya on the other hand was sitting on the sofa drinking some of her herbal tea and shaking her head slowly at the childish behaviour. Kakuzu sat nearby, counting his money yet again, trying to find out how much more he 'earned'

"Kakuzu, quit counting your money. It makes me feel poor." Aya demanded, closing her eyes and taking in another sip of tea.

Kakuzu chuckled, "You have a lot to learn, young Aya. Money is the only dependable thing on this planet, so you need to know what has value."

Aya was not the greatest at saving her cash, since she frequently goes out to by pet food for her cat Suzu, as well as buying food for her and Reika, "Hn." she replied, before getting to her feet, "Whatever."

Suddenly, a scream could be heard from down in the basement. Aya immediately opened her eyes wide and ran down the corridor, leaving Kakuzu in the front room, pretending nothing happened.

"Reika! Hidan! What is it?" Aya called down to the pair, who were on their hands and knees, almost in tears, next to the safe.

"The...the funds...are...gone!" Reika stuttered, pointing at the open safe.

Aya stepped down into the basement and looked at where she was pointing.

"Hn, I see." she muttered, turning around, "I think Pein and Konan need to know about this."

"About what?" Pein asked, from the top of the stairs, glaring down at the three in the basement.

Hidan and Reika hesitated to speak, so Aya explained, "The Akatsuki are broke."

"Impossible!" Pein snapped, storming down the stairs and standing in front of the safe, "Nobody comes in here without me knowing." but when he saw the safe had been emptied, his face darkened with rage, before he turned around and stormed back out, "Tell the others we have a meeting this evening."


Finally, the last pair of members arrived from their mission and collapsed at the dining table, where Pein and the earlier members were waiting.

"Hey! Sorry we're late, me and Tobi stopped for dangos on the way back, un." Deidara tried to act calm, scratching the back of his head.

"Tobi and Senpai thought they were delicious!" Tobi giggled in the girlish way, leaning his head on Aya, who was trying to ignore him as much as possible.

Pein's eyebrow twitched, "We are in the middle of a financial crisis...and you are out buying FOOD?! With our funds?!"

Deidara flinched at the harsh words and tried to back away in his seat as much as possible.

Konan cleared her throat from next to Pein, "Indeed we are. It appears that our safe has been completely emptied of money. So, in conclusion, we have no money. We just need to know who was the last one to dip into our savings?"

Kakuzu slid his briefcase further under the table and acted as naturally as possible (which was pretty easy, since he covers the majority of his face).

Nobody else confessed to taking any money last, so both leaders sighed and shook their heads.

"Then we are just going to have to go with Plan B. Which is...we need fund raising ideas." Pein explained, getting slightly sweaty at the embarrassing ideas.

"Fund rasiers?" Reika raised a stitched eyebrow, "You mean as in cake sales and all the fancy stuff?"

Pein and Konan nodded, going slightly red.

Kisame clenched his teeth, "Well you can forget it! I am a Shinobi, not a three year old, and if you think I am going to run a lemonade stand, or whatever, you can forget it."

Aya and Reika tried their hardest to smother their giggles at the thought of Kisame running a lemonade stand, but it was when Hidan added, "Yeah, great idea, Kisame-chan. We'll decorate your stand with flowers, tie your hair in pigtails and give you a pink dress. That should attract younger kids. Or perverts." that Reika collapsed to the ground in bits. Deidara, Aya, Tobi and Orochimaru laughed as well, while the others, including Zetsu, Sasori and Itachi remained emotionless as usual.

Kisame went bright red and growled, "Why you!" and he leapt over the table and grabbed Hidan in his death grib, suffocating the immortal man, "I'll crush that immortality out of you, Zombie One!" Kisame, a while ago, decided to nickname Hidan and Kakuzu the Zombie Combo, after their immortality and death like expressions.

"That's enough, Kisame." Pein called, clearing his throat, but when no order was organised, he slammed his hand hard on the table and shouted, "ENOUGH!" making everyone go quiet. Kisame dropped a breathless Hidan to the ground and skulked back to his seat, "Now. Has anyone got any decent ideas?"

"SLUMBER PARTY AT THE HIDEOUT!!" Tobi suggested, raising a hand in the air and jumping in his seat.

Every Akatsuki member turned to look at him, a look of concern on each of their faces.

"Excuse me?" Pein mumbled, looking down at the table.

"We invite all the females to the hideout, and they get to paint each others nails and gossip about boys, while Tobi and the boys can watch from outside in secret!" Tobi explained.

The whole room went silent, none of the female members looking impressed with the idea, especially the last comment.

"Can we think of something...less perverted?" Pein asked, clenching his fists in annoyance.

"Ooh! Ooh! Senpai, pick Tobi!" Tobi called out again, waving his hand in the air again.

Pein sighed, "What?"

"We can have a performance! A circus!" Tobi jumped up and down excited, like an excited fangirl.

Pein then grinned slightly, "I have it! We are going to put on a circus!" he declared, banging his hand on the table again, and looking at the confused crowd, "It's perfect."

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