If Only I Knew

(Book Two for How To Save A Life)

"Are you crazy?" He screams.

"Baby, I'm out of my mind." I smile.


7. What you did in your bedroom last night...

Maybe it's the feeling of hopelessness that lead Carter and Nash to this point. Maybe it's the fact that life is going nowhere. 

Fuck. Am I really gonna do this? 

"Yes." I mumble out loud. 


A voice inside my head whispers. 

"He's gone. There's nothing we can do."

The doctor's voice is sympathetic, guilty almost. 

I tighten the rope.I can't do this anymore. I'm not happy. I find no joy in life. I'm never happy. I'll never will be. Happiness isn't for me. I don't deserve it. 

I put my head through the hole my knees shake as I stand on the chair. 

My body trembles, tears streaming down my face. No. I can't do this. 

I scratch the rope at my neck. I claw it, trying to keep my weak legs straight and not tip the chair over. 

I finally get it off, there blood under my nails. I slowly get down. 

I stare at the rope. 

I'm shaking so awful, I have to lean against the wall. I take shaky steps towards my phone. 

"Hello 911, what's your emergency?" 

"I'm about to kill myself. I don't feel safe. Please, help." 

"Alright sir, I'm gonna need you to stay on the line with me. Are you home alone?" 


"Alright, what's your name?" 

"Cameron Dallas.

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