Last night I stayed at Chloe's house. I couldn't go back home, after what my mum did. I understand she wants another boyfriend but she could of atleast told me first. And she could of not screwed him In the same bed my father slept in when my mom wasn't home, and also she shouldn't have done it when she knew I would come home. She knows how hard it's been on me since my father died. She shouldn't have done it in the fucking first place.
While I was at Ashton's I had to explain everything to him about how my dad died of a car accident. About how my mother was never there. I was a total reck while I was telling him. Chloe helped me through the night and so did her parents. Chloe's family is my second family so it really helped.
"Chloe told me what happened, are you okay?" Luke asks, snapping me out of my thoughts as I reach my locker.
"To be honest, no." I sigh as I set my books in my locker.
Luke sighs. "If you need anything just remember you have Chloe, Ashton, Me, Michael, And Calum." He says. "Maybe Friday will cheer you up for the weekend?"
"Yeah, maybe." I sigh.
Luke gives me a small smile. "I'll see you at lunch." He says and then walks away.
I shut my locker and walk over to Ashton's. Ashton smiles at me when he sees me and his dimples show. I smile at them and forget everything for that slight moment. "I don't want to say this now, but you and your mom need to talk when you get home." Ashton says as he shuts his locker.
"I know." I mumble. "I'm going to I just really don't want to."
"Just remember if you need to you can come over." He says as he takes my hand. I nod and lean my head against his shoulder. "On a sadder note, we're not doing drums anymore in music." He frouns.
"Then what are we doing?" I ask.
"I think Calum said it was free day, so we can play what ever we want." Ashton smiles.
"See, you can play the drums, and I can play the piano." I smile. "Have you ever seen me play before?"
"A couple times in music. And I went to one of your concerts." Ashton smiles. "Like last year I think it was."
"Really?" I smile as we walk into the lunch room.
"Really." He laughs.
I open my locker and grab my things along with my leather jacket. I quickly put it on and walk towards the schools exit. Chloe comes up running beside me. "You gonna talk to your mom?" She asks.
I sigh. "Yeah, I don't want to but I have to. Plus Ashton's making me."
Chloe sighs and we finally get to our cars. "You can stay again if you want." She says and then we both get into our cars.
I drive home and see that my moms home too. I sigh and walk inside and kick of my shoes. "Where did you go last night?" My mom asks from the kitchen.
"My friends house because you were fucking a guy." I snap. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
My mom freezes. "First of all watch your language. And I wasn't screwing anyone."
"Really? Then why did I hear you and some other fucking guy moaning your lungs out in yours and DADs room." I say. "I swear to god if it ever happens again it better not be in that fucking room, and it better not be when I'm home." I snap. My mom just stands there in shock. "Yeah, I came home thinking we might of worked stuff out a little and I wanted you to help me with my speech, but no. I came home to you fucking a random guy and I ran to my fucking boyfriends house balling my eyes out. I had to stay at Chloe's house and her mom helped me with my homework. Not my own mother."
Tears are now streaming from my eyes and I slide on my uggs. I take my bag and jacket and walk outside while slamming the door. I can't believe I just did that. The Elli I know would of never done that.
I quickly drive to Ashton's house. I slowly knock on the door as the tears well up in my eyes again. Ashton opens the door and hugs me tightly. I cry in his shoulder and he shuts the door. I jog upstairs into his room and curl up on his bed. "I yelled at her. I told her how I found out and how I don't want it to happen again and how Chloe's mom was more of a mother than her." I whisper between my sobs. "And then I just left."
Ashton sighs and sits behind me. He rubs my back and I turn around. "At least you told her."
"I know but I want to be home in my own room. But I just don't want her there." I sigh. "But then again I think it's better that I'm not home." I say. It's true. My blade is at home. And if I was there it sure as hell would be in my hand. After the shit I've been through the past couple days I'm surprised I haven't found a way to do it yet.
"Why?" Ashton asks. "You just said you want to be home."
I shouldn't of said that. I slowly sit up and look Ashton in the eyes. He looks so worried. I have to tell him. He's going to find out soon anyways. "I.. I uh, when I was about 15, bullying really kicked in. Don't you remember? Pretty much everyone bullied me and all I had was Chloe." I say. Ashton nods. Ashton never bullied me, neither did Calum, Luke, or Michael. But everyone else did.
I sit up and stare at my sweater selves. "I thought that no one cared. My mom wasn't really around. No one would even bother to accept the fact that I was a person on this earth." I say as tears well up in my eyes. I slowly roll up my selves and Ashton takes my arms in his hands. "I never thought I would meet the perfect guy or have lots of friends or solve things with my mother." I whisper. "And now everything is changing and I don't know what to do."
"El," Ashton whispers as he rolls up my sleeve more. A tear falls from my cheek onto my hand and tears well up in Ashton's eyes. Ashton pulls me into his lap and hugs me tightly. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and his head rests in the crook of my neck. I cry into his shoulder and he slowly rocks back and forth. "I love you Elli. And even if I am the only one don't forget I do." He whispers.
"I love you too." I whisper in between sobs.
Ashton holds me like this for the next couple minutes. I then slowly release from his grip and sit in front of him. I stare down at my hands and Ashton holds them. "We're not going to school tomorrow." He whispers.
"Why?" I ask as I look up at him.
"We're both settling this with your mom." He says. I sigh and agree. This really needs to be settled.
SADDEST FUCKING CHAPTER EVER. This chapter made me cry while I was writing it. I'm such a horrible person. Love you allxx