Secrets

I thought I was the shy girl in school. I always thought the guy I was head over heals for would never like me. I was the girl who no one talked to. The girl who was bullied. It all started since my dad died. But then he liked me. And everything changed.

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8. The Blade

Elli's POV:

Ashton's fingers intertwine with mine as I shut my locker door. "I'm moving out of my house." Ashton says as we head outside.

"Really? Your mom agreed to you moving out?" I ask surprised.

Ashton nods. "Yeah. I explained to her how schools almost over, it's my last year and that I'm 18, I should be able to move out."

I smile at him. "That's great." I say as we reach his car. "I'll help you move in if you like."

Ashton smiles and I lean against his car. He kisses me softly and slowly. "Thank you." He mumbles against my lips. "Wanna go there now?"

I nod and get into his car. Ashton gets in and drives to an apartment building. Ashton takes my hand and we both walk inside. We walk up two sets of stairs and then down a short hallway. At the last door Ashton unlocks it and I walk in. I look around and see boxes set on the couch and on a table.

I walk around to see that there is a kitchen, living room, a bedroom and a bathroom attached to the bedroom. His bathroom and living room are unpacked along with only his bed spread on his bed. "Ashton, it's amazing." I say as I smile at him.

Ashton smiles. "So you like it?"

I nod. "Want me to help unpack now?" I ask.

Ashton nods. "Will you do the kitchen for me while I do my room?" He asks. I nod and he kisses my cheek.

I take all the kitchen boxes from the living room and put away his silverware and dishes. After I'm done cleaning and putting everything away in the kitchen, I pack up all of the empty boxes and put them in the corner of the room. I walk over to Ashton's bedroom door and walk inside. Ashton picks up his boxes and smiles once he sees me. His drumset is in the corner and his bed is in the middle of the room. A dresser and a TV in front of the bed, and a bedside table. He also has some of his posters up.

Ashton walks out Into the living room and sets all of the boxes in a closet. "Thank you for doing the kitchen, it looks nice." He smiles as he kisses me. "Wanna stay the night?" He asks.

I nod and Ashton wraps his arms around my waist. He bends down to kiss me and his hands find my sides. His lips brush against mine and he starts to tickle me. I scream and run into his bedroom. Ashton laughs and walks into his room. "Come here." He says.

I slowly walk over to him while laughing. Ashton smiles and bends down and kisses me hardly. I stand on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck. I slowly release from the kiss and Ashton rests his forehead against mine as our noses touch. "Ashton," I whisper. "I think I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" He asks.

I nod and smile. Ashton smiles and kisses me hardly. He slowly guides me over to his bed and we both get under the covers. My hands slide up his shirt as he bites my bottom lip softly. I softly moan and Ashton's tongue enters my mouth. As we kiss Ashton takes off his shirt and his hands slide up mine. Ashton slowly takes off my shirt and his head rests against mine as he looks down at me. I tense up, knowing that my scars are showing and that my bra is neon colors.

Ashton smiles at me and kisses me. "You're beautiful." He whispers.

I smile and then he kisses all over my neck. A soft moan escapes my lips as he finds my sweet spot. I slide my hands down Ashton's chest and he softly moans. Ashton's lips softly skim across my scars on my sides. He slowly places his hands on my skinny jeans. He looks up at me, to make sure I'm ready and I nod.

I tense once I remember my scars on my theighs. Ashton kisses each scar and then kisses my lips. "You're perfect." He whispers. I smile against his lips and slowly start to unbutton his jeans. Ashton kicks them off under the covers and he kisses me hardly. Ashton's hands play with the hem of my underwear as he kisses my neck.

"I'm ready." I whisper. He smiles and kisses me as I take off my underwear and he takes off his boxers. Ashton kisses me slowly as he inserts himself inside of me.

I gasp as pain shoots through me and Ashton looks at me with concerned eyes. He slowly kisses me as the pain dies down and I nod once it's over. Ashton kisses my neck as he thrusts in and out. Ashton moans into my shoulder as I moan and run my fingers through his hair.

After a while Ashton slowly slows down as he kisses me. He kisses my cheek and down my neck as he puts his boxers back on. I slowly put my underwear on and Ashton lays beside me. I lay my head on his chest and Ashton kisses my forehead. "That was-" Ashton whispers.

"Amazing." I finish for him.

Ashton smiles and rubs his hand up and down my back. And just like that, we both slowly fall asleep.

+++

My eyes flutter open as the sunlight stings my eyes. I groan and hide my face in Ashton's chest. He softly kisses the top of my head. "I had fun last night."

I giggle softly. "Oh really?" I smirk.

"Yes really." He smiles as he comes over top of me. Ashton kisses me hardly. "Did you have fun?" He asks.

"I sure as hell did." I smile.

Ashton laughs and kisses me softly. "I love you." He hums against my lips.

"I love you too." I mumble against his lips. "Can I go take a shower?"

Ashton nods and I slowly get out of bed. "Your neon bra is really sexy by the way." Ashton says.

I blush and run into the bathroom. I hear Ashton laugh as I shut the door. I laugh and take a quick shower. I brush out my hair with a brush I had in my bag and then get out of the shower. I get dressed in my skinny jeans and put on my bra. "Ashton." I whine as I open the bathroom door.

"Elli." Ashton says as he walks into his room. "Do you have an old shirt I can wear?" I ask.

Ashton nods and goes over to his closet. It takes him a while but he finally finds a small Ramones shirt. "It should fit, it may be a little big." He smiles as he hands the shirt to me. He slowly opens up the bathroom door a little more. "I kind of like you without the shirt more though." He smirks as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Ash." I giggle.

"Ash?" He smiles. "I like that." I blush and he kisses me softly. "And I love it when you blush."

I smile. "Can I get dressed now?" I ask.

Ashton nods. "Wait, what are our plans for today?"

"Nothing that I know of." I sigh as I put the shirt on. I straiten it out and tuck it into my jeans.

"Wanna come get the puppy with me?" Ashton asks. "It's still at home."

I nod and smile. "I totally forgot, I would love to get Rue with you."

Ashton smiles. "Come on, let's go."

I follow him out to his car and he drives to his house. Ashton unlocks the door before he walks inside and the puppy comes running up to us. I pick up Rue and hold her in my arms as she tries to lick my face.

"Hi Elli." Ashton's mom smiles as she comes down the stairs.

"Hey Anne." I smile.

Ashton's mom smiles and Ashton takes Rue into his arms. "Can I have Rue at my place?" He asks.

"Only if they allow pets." Anne says.

Ashton nods. "They do. My neighbor has a dog." Anne nods and smiles. Ashton smiles and sets the dog down before he jogs into the other room to get the dogs dishes and food.

"Do you like the new place?" Anne asks. "I helped Ashton pick it out."

"I think it's wonderful, I helped him finish unpacking yesterday." I explain. "So he's fully moved in now."

Anne smiles. "I'm glad Ashton met someone like you. Your funny, pretty, smart and tallented. Ashton has had some pretty shitty girlfriends before." She whispers at the last sentence.

I laugh and then Ashton comes back. "Ready?" He asks.

I nod and Anne smiles at me. I pick up Rue and we say goodbye as we head back to Ashton's apartment.

+++

I move my hands along the keys as I play my song for lessons. I'm almost done with it now, just the last line I have to do. I hear my phone vibrate and look at the notification. I sigh as I look for the tweet I was mentioned in.

"@Ashton5sos don't you think that @Piano_is_life is an ugly bitch. I mean why not me?"

I stare at the tweet. This is about the fith time this week that I've been called a bitch, ugly, and that someone wants to be with Ashton instead of me.

I finally break down and hug my knees on my piano bench. I sob into my knees and stare at my bathroom door. Sobbing, I get up and walk into the bathroom. I slide down onto the floor against the tub.

Everybody hates me. My father is dead, Ashton is probably only trying to make me happy because I'm the ugly nerd of the school. Calum, Luke and Michael probably don't care. My mom doesn't really care. My life sucks so much. Everyone at school hates me, and doesn't care and I'm bullied every day.

I slowly open the cabinet under the sink. I pull out a small box and open it. There it is, the silver piece of metal that has changed my life. I slowly pick it up and hold it in my hands. I slide up my sleeve and my tears fall onto my wrist. I take the blade and slide it across my wrist, making a cut.

I know I promised Ashton I wouldn't do it anymore, but I don't care.

With another cut blood drips down my arm.

Then another cut. More blood.

I sob and slam my foot against the floor. "Elli?!?" I hear my mom yell as she comes into my room. I let out a sob and she comes into the bathroom. My blood is on the floor and all over my arm. "Elli!" She says. I cry and she takes my arm in her hand. "I'm calling Ashton." She says as she grabs my phone.

"No, no don't!" I yell as she brings the phone to her ear.

"Ashton, you need to get here now." She says. "Come upstairs into Elli's bathroom." I cry and my mom holds me in her arms. "Why Elli?" She says with a shaky voice.

Ashton's POV: (for a change)

I race to my car knowing that Elli is in trouble. I don't know what I feel right now. I feel sad, terrified, worried, I don't even know.

As soon as I reach Elli's house I race into her house and up the stairs. I run into her bathroom and see her in her moms arms. There is blood on the floor and on Elli's wrist. Tears brim in my eyes knowing that Elli cut again. "Elli." I whisper. Elli's mom moves away and I bend down beside Elli. I hold the towel that her mom had around her wrist tightly.

Elli curls up in my arms and sobs into my chest. I hold her tightly and rest my head in the crook of her neck. A tear falls from my eye. I don't want Elli to be depressed and to start cutting again.

Her mom looks at me sympathetically and rubs Elli's back before she leaves the bathroom. "There was more hate on twitter. I've been called ugly and a bitch all week. Everyone doesn't want me to be with you, and it makes me believe that you don't want to be with me." Elli whispers into my chest.

"Elli," I whisper as I lift her head up to look into my eyes. "I love you so much. Don't ever think that I don't want to be with you because I do want to be with you, forever." I say. "Don't believe what they say anyways. Your not a bitch, your not ugly, your beautiful and the most wonderful person I know."

Elli slightly smiles and I bend down to kiss her. Her hands slowly wrap around my neck and I wrap mine around her back. I pick Elli up as I stand up as carry her back into her room. Once I lay her down I silently go back into her bathroom and clean up her blood on the floor. I shut off the light and then walk back over to her bed.

"I'm sorry." She whispers.

"Elli, don't be sorry." I say. "I love you." I whisper.

"I love you too." Elli whispers. "Will you stay?"

I nod. "As long as you want me too." I smile.

Elli smiles and places her hand on my cheek. She giggles slightly. "I love your dimples."

I laugh and Elli smiles again. I lay down beside her and she curls up beside me. I kiss the top of her head softly. I hold her hand as she falls asleep in my arms. I look at every one of her scars.

If only she knew I had them too.

The twitter name in this chapter @Piano_is_life, I don't know if that is a real twitter name or not, I just came up with it. I hope you all like this chapter. Love you allxx

~Lizzy

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