I sit infront of the window with a cup of tea and stare outside. I sit still with a blanket wrapped around me as the rain falls onto the sidewalk. "Hey." My mother says as she comes up behind me. "Are you okay? You've been really depressed today."
"I don't know." I whisper. "I'm upset and I don't think anything will help right now." I mumble against my mug before I take a sip.
"Do you need Ashton?" She asks.
"No." I say.
"Did something happen between you two." She asks as she sits beside me. I simply shake my head. Nothing has happened, I'm just really upset. "Is there anything I can do?"
"No." I whisper. "I want to be alone." My mom sighs and kisses the top of my head before she makes her way out of the back room.
I sigh and continue to watch the rain. I don't know what's wrong. I just woke up this morning really depressed and upset. My phone has been ringing non stop from texts and calls from Chloe and the guys. Especially Ashton.
I watch the trees sway in the wind as I take another sip of my tea. I hear the front door open and close with footsteps coming down the hallway. "Hey." I hear Ashton whisper as he sees me.
"My mom invited you over didn't she?" I ask, without turning around.
"Yeah." Ashton says. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I mumble. "I just want to be alone." I sigh. I can't believe my mom Invited Ashton over. I just want to be alone and be depressed by myself today.
Ashton sits beside me and I sigh. I take another sip of my tea and adjust my blanket. I watch as Ashton slowly slips his hand in mine. He holds my hand tightly and kisses it softly. "I know that we both don't know what's wrong, but I hope you feel better." He says. "Do you want to talk about anything?" He asks. I shake my head and bite my lip. I feel like I want to cry and I don't know why. "Do you want to be alone?"
"Not right now." I whisper as tears start to fall from my eyes. Ashton quickly hugs me and kisses the side of my temple. I just sit there and cry. I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know why I'm depressed today. I'm just really upset and I hate it.
"Shhh.." Ashton softly whispers as I start to calm down from the crying. He whispers song lyrics into my ear to make me calm down. Ashton softly kisses my temple as I wipe my eyes.
"I don't know why I cried." I mumble. "I don't know why I'm depressed right now. I don't know why at all right now and it makes me upset because I hate being upset because it basically makes everyone worry and-"
"Elli." Ashton whispers. "I understand what you're going through right now, that's why I'm not asking a ton of questions."
I sigh and play with Ashton's fingers. "I really love you." I whisper. "You don't know how much you help me."
Ashton smiles and looks up at me. "I love you too."
Ashton left a couple hours after he came. I sat there and watched the rain while Ashton mumbled and sang song lyrics softly to me so I would be calm.
I haven't eaten at all today. All I've done was drink my tea. I haven't played the piano at all, I've just sat here. I've texted Ashton a couple times. He's still really worried about me. Chloe wants to come over and so does Calum. Calum called, probably because Ashton told him to.
I honestly don't know what's wrong. But everything that is wrong has been racing through my head all day. Like, college, and leaving Ashton for four years, if Ashton cheats on me, someone dying. I just really want to feel better right now.
I look over at the clock and see that it's ten at night. I sigh and walk upstairs into my bedroom and collapse on the bed. I feel like I haven't slept for days. I quickly get under the covers and fall asleep.
Sorry for the short, shitty chapter. I didn't know what to write. Love you allxx