I thought I was the shy girl in school. I always thought the guy I was head over heals for would never like me. I was the girl who no one talked to. The girl who was bullied. It all started since my dad died. But then he liked me. And everything changed.


38. No More Trust?

Elli's POV:  ~A couple weeks later~


I bite my lip as I work through next weeks work. My teachers allowed me to work ahead for the holidays. A lot of people are. I want to do it to surprise everyone at home. They think that Chloe and I can only stay for a week and a half but now, if Chloe and I do exactly like we planned, we can stay for about two and a half weeks. I've been doing little by little to get my work finished but it's still a lot every night, which gives me limited time to talk to Ashton. I hate it and I hate that I have to lie to him. Well, sort of lying. He thinks that I'm doing all this work because of the one day before Christmas eve and the two days after new years. He doesn't know I have those days off and that im doing the work for the extra week. 


I already have Ashton's Christmas present. I got a picture frame with four pictures of us in it. The picture frame is made out of drumsticks. I know he's going to love it.


I look down at my phone as it vibrates in my lap. "Hello?" I answer my phone, not knowing who it is. 


"Hey baby girl." Ashton says happily on the other end. I smile and put my pencil down in my notebook. "Hows the work coming along?"


"Good, I only have a little left to do tonight but I still have a lot ahead." I say, biting my lip and sighing. 


"How long do you have to work on it? Like, day wise. How many more days?" Ashton asks. I can tell he's getting upset. He doesn't like it that I have so much work to do and I don't like it either but I wanted to for us to spend more time together. 


"I'll be turning it all in a couple days before I leave. So about a week." I reply. I hear Ashton sigh on the other line and I bite my lip harder. "It'll be worth it in the end." I say softly. 


"I can trust that you're being honest with me right?" Ashton asks and I stare at my wall. Does he not trust me anymore? 


My throat begins to hurt as I speak. "Do you not trust me?" I whisper. 


"No. No Elli it's not that. I trust you it's just that no one. And I mean NO ONE has that much work for just 3 days." Ashton explains. "Are you being honest with me?" He asks softly. "All I've been thinking about is the other stuff you could be doing instead of school work. I don't know if you're out a lot, I don't know if Colin is doing anything and you can't tell me. I've been worried. You know how I am, I get worried, a lot and most of the time its about nothing." Ashton explains, his voice getting softer towards the end. 


"Colin hasn't done anything." I say. "I would tell you if he was." Colin hasn't spoken to me since the incident with Ashton. He looks at me every now and then. The school was a dumbass and didn't punish him for what he did but I don't care at this point. He's not going to do anything. 


"Okay." Ashton sighs in relief. "But you are being honest right?" 


"Yes!" I yell. "Can't you trust me? I trust you." I whisper at the end and bite my lip. "Sorry for yelling." I mumble. I hate lying but I have to so I can surprise him. 


"I trust you Elli." Ashton replies softly, clearly taken aback by me yelling at him. "I love you." 


"I love you too." I say. "I'm sorry for shouting at you."


"Its okay El, don't worry about it. Go get a sticky note so we can read it." Ashton says. Ashton and I read a sticky note together every night before we both go to bed. There's only about a weeks worth left of sticky notes in the jar. I take a blue one out and sit back down on my bed, unfolding it in my hands.  "What does it say?" Ashton asks. 


"It says: 'Remember Rue? Whenever I say your name her ears go up and she looks for you. She misses you and so do I. Love you -Ash'" I finish and I smile. I miss Rue a lot. "I can't wait to see her." 


"More than me?" Ashton laughs. 


"Yeah." I joke and Ashton gasps and then giggles into the phone. God I love his laugh, it makes me happier every day. 


"She's at my mums now." Ashton says while calming down his laughing. "I'll get her back at my place after college my mum said." I smile to myself and we both stop talking and stay in a silence. It's not an awkward silence though. It's just a silence, we each don't really know what to say but it's nice. 


I hear Ashton yawn and I finally speak. "I'm going to finish this up and then go to bed. Goodnight, I love you."


"I love you too baby girl, goodnight." And with that, Ashton hangs up the phone. 


 I quietly finish my work. I don't think about anything except my work and Rue. I don't want to think about me yelling at Ashton. I wish I didn't yell but I just didn't want him to not trust me. I don't know, I was afraid of what would happen if he didn't trust me while I was here. I don't want him cheating on me while I'm away. If he can't trust me, he probably would, I don't know. Maybe not. I don't know. It's the feeling of not knowing that gets me. I want to know but I can't read Ashton's mind so I can't know. 


All I know is that I don't want to lose him and I don't plan on loosing him. 


After I'm finished with my work, I text my mum for a couple minutes and then go to bed. I fall asleep with the light on and my book work sprawled out on the floor. I'll clean it in the morning before I go to class. 



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