I remember I bought the journal for her and told her to write her feelings down when no one would listen, or when she couldn't do anything else. She has always had anger issues, she has since our dad left. So to control her emotions just as I control mine, I bought her this journal. She writes in it feverishly, but I'd rather that then her throwing things or cutting like she used to. She finished her entry and seems to be calmed down.
She walks to the kitchen and asks our mum "would you like for me to start packing her things?" Mum replies "yes love, but please don't pack anything you think her best friend would want or anything you think her best friend would want or anything our family should keep." So Cara walks to my bedroom, and begins to put my things in separate bags, I suppose one is for Mikey, one is for things to be donated and one is for my family to keep. My camera goes in the "family" bag, my art supplies go in the "Mikey" bag, and most of my clothes go into the "donate" bag. She opens my picture box and keeps some pictures of me and Mikey to hang up on our house and some of me and her, and the most recent ones of me and baby Grace right after she was born. She puts the ones for Mikey in one of my books so they don't get bent and she collects all my CD's and those go to Mikey too.
I hear Grace crying so I go to see her. She was only born a few months ago so I didn't get to get close to her but she is still special to me. I see Tim run to Grace; he loves that baby.
Me, Tim and Grace are sitting on the couch, although Tim thinks it's only him and Grace. She plays with his long black hair and that makes him smile. Cara comes in shortly after and sits down next to Tim. He hands over Grace without a word. They sit in silence for awhile but Cara breaks the silence and starts with saying "Timothy, I am so proud of you. You've been helping mum with Grace and being such a responsible son and brother. I know dad should be saying this but he's not, so I am. I love you so much Tim."
She's right. Tim had Ben doing a wonderful job with Grace and being helpful in general. And dad should be saying that. Tim hugs Cara and starts to cry, and says "I try so hard for mum and Grace cause dad isn't here and Ashton died and mum really need it now more than ever because of Lottie."
I don't understand why my death is such a big deal. I was nothing, a nobody. I guess mum, Tim, Cara and Mikey thought otherwise because you can sense something different.
Mum is in the kitchen on the phone, I listen, and it's miss Jen. "Yes any time. Thank you for all you did in Charlotte. You were such a good example and you have raised your children wonderfully and I'm glad Charlotte got to see and be apart of that. Yes. Okay. Thanks. Bye." My mum has always admired miss Jen. And I agree, she did raise her kids right. Mum hangs up the phone and calls out "hey kids, Michael will be over tonight for dinner" so that's what that call was about.