"I'm a broken man, and there's no one in this world that can fix me."
It breaks my heart to see him this way. I just made the walls he spent so much time building crumble right before me. And now the man I love is crying right before me.
He says no one in this world can fix him.
I'd like to think if he'd give me the chance, that maybe I could.
I once read a quote. It said " I want you to undress your heart, and show me how much it hurts, so that I can show you how I intend to make it stop." I would want for Harry to see that I can show him how it is to be happy again.
To put back all his broken pieces that she left behind.
I want to so desperately ask questions about her, but I know now isn't the appropriate time.
"So you love me, but you can't? That doesn't make sense"
"I love you. But will never be able to show you what it truly is to be in love. I can't be that man for you, at least not now." He says coming down from his sobs.
"It was the girl you were talking about the night we kissed wasn't it?" I say putting the pieces together in my head.
"Yes, Olivia was the girl" he sighs.
"I understand that you need time-"
"It's been four years!" He yells and I stop talking. "I can have all the time in the fucking world and it wouldn't make a difference!"
My heart sinks in my chest and it's getting harder to breath.
"I've never been through what you've been through, so I don't understand what you're going through" I stop to take a breath before I continue. " However, I will give you what you want and stop trying to force you to love me. It's not fair to you. We will forget all of this ever happened, the kiss, our fights, everything. And we will move on and be how we used to be. We were better off friends anyways." I say trying my hardest to sound convincing.
"Thank you Lauren, you don't know how much of a relief that is" he says and comes to hug me which I return.
We let go and he gives me a small smile which I return as well.
"You're an amazing person. I don't know what I did to deserve you." He sighs.
"Me either" I tease to lighten the mood.
"Well it's getting late and you must be exhausted, so I'll let you be" he says and heads towards the door. "Goodnight Lauren" he says looking back at me.
"Goodnight Harry" I say and put on my fakest smile.
The minute the door closes, I break down. He doesn't know that the words I said to him were so damn hard to say and I wanted him to tell me that he wanted me. That no matter how much he's gone through that he still would consider being with me. But that's not an option.
He wants to just be friends and that's killing me.
I think the only reason I'm not dead right now is that he said he loved me, even though he says he can't.
And that's my only string of hope that maybe, just maybe. He'll come running to me and say how much he loves me and how he made a huge mistake. And I'll wait. No matter how idiotic it may sound, I'll wait for him.
Even if it kills me.
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