Can You Feel My Heart?

Just a normal girl? That's what Jessica wishes she was. With her twin, Melissa, hating her guts and plotting her demise, an art teacher, Mr Clifford, caring more than he should; and a few close friends sticking together, what will become of Jess? Will she find that normal life and move to England like she planned? Or will she find a love worth fighting for and stay where she is?


4. .

Jessica I should have gone back to Art, but I didn’t see the point if I was being moved to AP anyway. I figured they couldn’t have filled both the Art and Music teaching positions, so just like I always did, I made the Music room my hiding place for the last few minutes of first period. Pulling a sketchpad out from my bag, I sat down in a corner at a desk and just sang softly to myself as I continued a sketch of a burning bridge across a lake. It had become my only escape from the world. Ever since our parents died, it felt like I was sleepwalking. I didn’t have any control about what was happening in my life. Melissa was walking all over me, our foster parents didn’t seem to give a shit, and no one saw me screaming for help. Maybe, just maybe, I thought, things would have changed when I met Lilly. And for a while, it did. I didn't self-harm as much as I used to and I felt happier for a brief moment in this nightmare. But Lilly wasn’t there behind the scenes, when the mask came off and the brokenness came to the surface again. When the superstar twin got everything she wanted and the antichrist, me, got locked in her room. I didn’t mind sometimes. All I wanted was to make Art and play music, but the thoughts that went through my mind when the loneliness kicked in was scary. The self-harm started back up, just in places I was sure no one would look. Upper thighs and under boobs, y’know all the places that are normally hidden. I sighed looking at the now finished sketch. I glanced down to my studded watch. The bell was going to ring any minute now and there was still no teacher in sight. The piano in the room caught my attention, my fingers twitched as the need to play overcame me. Making myself comfortable in front of the piano, I ran my fingers over the ivories. In perfect tune surprisingly. “I ruled the world, With these hands I shook the heavens to the ground. I laid the gods to rest. I held the key to the kingdom, Lions guarding castle walls. Hail the king of Death.” I started the song that had been my rock and basically told the story of my life. My fingers flying over the keys. “Then I lost it all. Dead and broken. My back’s against the wall, Cut me open. I’m just trying to breathe, Trying to figure it out, Because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down. I said, “Then I lost it all.” And who can save me now?” A cough interrupted my playing. I sighed hoping it wasn’t one of Melissa’s hags, but when I turned around, I didn’t see one of them, instead it was the new guy, I mean teacher. Was he going to teach Music now as well? “Technically, yes.” he smirked at me. Fuck, did I say that out loud? “Yup...” he replied popping the p. “Did it again, didn’t I?” I asked feeling my cheeks redden. “Pretty much, yeah.” he laughed walking over to the piano. “Lost It All, Black Veil Brides right?” “You know Black Veil Brides?” I asked my mouth almost on the floor. “Well obviously.” he chuckled. “Nice shirt.” He winked. He winked???? “Erm… uh... thanks.” I stuttered, my cheeks flaming by now. He just kept smiling at me, which was weird. I couldn’t help myself. “Whaaattt…” “You’re the only student in AP Music. And now I know why.” he said talking about the singing thing. “I’m the only one? What about Charlie? Ben? Even Evie?” I asked a little shocked. “They’re good, but you’re better. Your vocal range is extraordinary from what I’ve heard so far and you have skills with a piano. Any other instruments?” he asked, he seemed really professional now. “Erm… yeah, I play guitar and the violin as well.” I said shyly. He nodded almost in approval. “Well for today, let’s just get to know each other. Would you like to start off? Just say your name and give a little background of your life.” he smiled motioning for me to start when I gulped. “My name’s Jessica Welsh... I’m almost 18. Background of my life... erm... that’s a tough one. I’ve been in foster care for a while. My twin sister, Melissa, hates me. I want to travel after school. Go to London making art and music my life. I’m not normal.” I said honestly. “What even is normal?” “I dunno, a setting on a washing machine?” He smiled nodding again, “And who’d want to be that?” “No one.” I smiled feeling like someone finally understood me. “Exactly.”, he said smiling from ear to ear. Weird… I sighed. I don’t know why, but I sighed. I saw the confusion spread across his face for a second. “You okay?” he asked. “Yeah, I guess so… I just realised I’m way behind on the history part of this class.” “Oh that’s not a problem,” he said smiling again. “I’ll help you catch up. Do you need a note for your foster parents?” “Yes, please. Before they think I’m robbing banks after school.” I sighed rolling my eyes at the thought. He started scribbling a few words down on a piece of school stationary. “Twin the princess?” he asked. I had to think before realising he was talking about Melissa. “Oh yeah. Definitely. She gets everything while I’m considered the antichrist.” I shrugged taking the note from him. “What about you? Who are you?” “Demon to some. Angel to others.” he said as a shadow seemed to fall across his face. Dafuq?? I was just about to ask him what that meant, when the fucking bell rang! Worst timing ever. “See you next week Jessica.” he waved walking out towards the staff room. “Only once a week?” I mumbled. I’d die that way. I didn’t even care enough to go to any other classes. Only attending classes I actually care for made my life so much easier. The teachers, for some reason, didn’t have a problem with it. Lilly basically brought me all of the notes and homework so I guess there wasn’t a reason. Scoffing, I walked out through one of the back entrances and made my way to the edge of town where my sanctuary waited to welcome me. Michael I had no idea what I was thinking telling her that. She didn’t need to know. It was going to bring questions to mind. Questions I couldn’t answer. I liked her. That much I knew. That it was wrong? That I knew too. I wouldn’t say I love her, because that’s really insane. I just met her and she was my student. I sighed. My day was almost over. Besides the art classes and the music classes, I only had detention left. How’s that for a first day? Give the new guy the honour of detention duty. Grabbing two cups of coffee, I headed towards Ashton’s class. He seemed to have a free, because no one was there except for him and a few students doing extra work. “You brought coffee.” He said with a smirk as I joined him at his desk. “Shut up Ash. You ain’t tapping this.” I said snapping my fingers. I heard a giggle from the back of the class were a girl was watching us. “You find that funny, Kahlan?” Ash asked her. Cool name, I thought. “Sorry, Mr Irwin.” she blushed looking down to continue her work. “Why are they here?” I asked confused. “Advanced Placement. Only five in the class.” He shrugged. “That’s nothing compared to AP Music.” I grinned. “No way. How many?” he asked. “One.” I smirked knowing I won this time. “God…” “Jessica, right?” the girl said looking up from her work again. “Yeah, do you know her?” I asked turning to her. “One of my best friends. She’s really talented, though since her parents died she doesn’t give herself any credit. I mean, she won a recording contract with some big shot label in LA, but she turned them down. It was her shot to get out of here, I don’t know why she stayed.” Wow she talked a lot. None of this was in her file. Maybe she kept it from the school as well. I had a bit of digging to do now. I just hoped her parents was okay with the help I was offering. I really did want to help her catch up, but also wanted to get to know her. “Mike? You okay there man?” Ash asked when I didn’t say anything. “Hm? Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.” “Alright. Just don’t overheat your brain. I know you artsy people don’t use those things too often.” He smirked. “You’re a dick.” I mumbled as the bell rang. The day was almost over. Just detention left. This should be easy, I thought as I shuffled to the detention room. I had only opened the door when a flying banana almost hit me in the face. Boy, was I wrong about this…
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