1. The Trigger
Hey right so er my names Christina, I have a boyfriend I'm in collage I have a nice family, who now love and care for me. My life is now sunshine and blue skies. Something you should know about me though, is that two years ago I wasn't the girl I am today my life wasn't all happy and sunshine or even blue skies.. Read on if you want to find out more, but I'd advice you to have your tissues at hand ready.
May of 2000 was an alright start to the month, I moved high schools got my first job had a best friend, everything was how you expected it to be all good. I also had my own blog which I would post things on all day everyday. Sadly it changed, my best friend who was also my boyfriend at the time had severe depression, so did I but Jake was the bug main reason it eased of a bit. When I first met Jake I couldn't really tell he was depressed he kept his feelings locked away for the first few months of our relationship, it was only a year into the relationship I could see how depressed he was, it was only because he started showing his true colors towards me, I don't know why maybe because he knew he could trust me, knew I'd be there for him and knew I wouldn't stand there a judge him like everyone else would.
Right so anyway, I should really tell you what happened, May 22nd he committed suicide after deciding he really could not bare with life's challenges anymore. This was the first trigger my heart sank, I was in pieces I..I was numb, as anyone else would be if their best friend had to end their life due to shit bags (so in other words bullies) words of torment and just every day life. A few days after I heard he had killed himself I was deciding whether I should do it or not, but I couldn't I had to stay strong, for him, for my friends, for family and mainly myself.
I was in such a state he was the only one that truly knew me who could help me get over anything I had to get over. He was the main biggest reasons my depression had eased off, and I was getting happier, yeah I still had those moments of sadness but it wasn't big it wasn't major either but it was enough to keep my head held high. Now he's gone, I don't know what's going to happen...