I ran out of the caravan feeling ashamed, embarrassed, like a dirty tramp. I felt stupid and worthless. When I get home I ran upstairs to my room to sleep, hoping that what just happened was just a dream, or just my mind messing with me. I woke up IT WASN'T A DREAM. I still felt the same. Empty, lost heart broken, the first boy who I thought loved me used me and used me. I felt so hurt, but I couldn't find the words, nothing was coming out of me. I couldn't, this was killing me.
When I went back to school, I hoped he would keep his distance from, not talk to me, but this was obviously easier said then done. He kept on talking to me, in and outside of school, he made me go back to his house, I had to, I was scared if I didn't go he'd just find a way to blackmail me, he was cunning like that, he knew me so well he could find ways to make my life hell. This torture went on for a couple weeks three tops. It's like I didn't know who I was anymore, I've always been known not to let anything get to me, and just move on with my life after something bad happens, I did do that with Jake's death, I was getting better, but then Damian happened and it made me 10 times worse than I already was. I'm broken. I feel wasted. For the next couple days I walked around school head bent, I also began gradually isolating myself from my friend..I had to, she couldn't see me the way I was acting around Damian she'd wanna know what's going on and I couldn't bring myself to do that. Besides I want her to know for herself that her boyfriend is a lying, cheating, scum bag. And I can't be the one to tell her that..