It was like 4:00 am and I was wide awake.
I couldn't sleep. I tried my best to forget things in the past. I sang to try to get my head situated. I couldn't live with my self.
I fell asleep. Finally at 4:30. It was 6 am and I couldn't breathe.
"AHHH!!" I yelled for breath.
I blacked out before the bits cam rushing in.
I woke up the next day in the hospital. I didn't have the strength to talk yet but the boys were wide awake.
"OMG!!! Natalie your okay!!" Lou said. I nodded and smiled weakly.
"She isn't able to talk yet till she has the strength." The doctor said
He asked me rate my pain from 1-10.
I put up 9 fingers.
"Your a fighter you know that right?" Liam said
I shook my head no and shrugged to ask him why.
"Many reasons why." He said
"You have stage 4 lymphoma." Niall stated.
My eyes widen and I tried to speak. I only got out the words
It was terrible I can't believe for the past couple weeks she's been fine but now she has stage 4?!!
"Don't worry she has a 80% chance of fighting it." The doctor said.
"that's great!!" I said
Natalie looks at me and I read her eyes.
"Natalie you heard him he said you'll live." I said
She opened her mouth and spoke softly.
"I-I have cancer??" She said
"SHE SPOKE AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION YES!" Lou shouted.
"I've read lots about cancer so I know what lymphoma is and also if my hands feel cold their under Oxygenated." She said
"Now that's a smart girl." The doctor chuckled.
---> 1 week later-->
I was still worried for her since she had cancer. I hope she'll live. And stage 4??!!! That's crazy!!!
"I'm hungry can we go eat something?" She asks.
"Sure,love what would you want to eat?" I said
"Anything at least it's food.." She replies.
Liam drove home and Harry made her a sandwich.
She ate and I held her hands.
"Niall can you let go of my hands??" She said annoyed
"Sorry .. Ae you cold?" I asked
"Even though I'm under oxygenated I'm not cold." She said
"Ooh.." Lou said
I don't care about having cancer. I just want to have a family a life , friends....
I was in my room writing in my journal/ diary/ song book.
So I was never going to attempt to have a journal but hear it goes. I am telling you my story but before anything else... Boys I don't care if you was this so don't expect me to kill you so yeah :).
It started when I was 3 1/2. My parents loved me and encouraged me for every thing. On my 4th birthday was the best but a couple months later my dad got fired from his job and that brought trouble.. My mum worked hard while my dad just watched tv all day. He forgot all about me. My mum and dad fought a lot after a couple months. My dad and mum started cheating on each other and drinking.
I felt left out. I had my ways of trying to help around the house. I get hit almost everyday by my father. He'd whip me and I had marks. My mum yells at me every morning idk why..
I get bullied at school by this wannabe queen name Natasha. I hate her so much! At the age of 14 I started cutting and planning my escape at the age of 11. I would hide my plans under my bed and stuff to get out of trouble. So yeah. I'm 17 now and living with my I guess idol. One direction. Their like my brothers and I feel loved again. And here I am having lymphoma stage 4. It was okay I still felt like my heart was picking up into pieces again. Well intill next Time.
Your writer, Natalie . Date: 12/5/14
I closed it and wiped away my tears
Zayn walked in after and saw me writing.
"Hey Natalie." He said
"What's that ?"
"My journal. Here." I said handing it to him
"Really? Cos my little sister wouldn't even let me." He said
I laughed and he opened it. He read and laughed at my note
But his laugh faded as he continued reading.
He looked up seeing a tear rolling down my cheek.
"N-Natalie.." He said
"I'm okay." I said
He picked me up and grabbed my oxygen tank and went downstairs.
The boys laughed at us and I laughed with them.
"What's taht???!!!!" Lou said
"My journal, you can read it." I said
Their eyes widened and all said really?!!!
I nodded and they took the journal and started reading. They of course smiled at my note then faded after continuing. I stayed strong and kept in my tears.
Niall came up to me and whispered
"Sorry.." Then hugged me.