Gromit drove the van as quick as he could. He went in the traffic tunnel and saw the traffic ahead of him.
"Right,” he said. “It's time to press the little red button."
Gromit pressed the red button on top of the gear stick. Out of the back came the blasters and the van zoomed very fast. It drove to the wall and went upside down on the ceiling like in Men in Black.
“Hey, G,” called a voice.
Gromit turned to see an upside down MIB car with Agent K driving and Agent J moving around.
“Hey, K, J,” Gromit greeted, waving back to K. “How’s the MIB since me and Agent W left?”
Agent W as Wallace, of course.
“I thought we flashed you guys,” said K.
“I think you didn’t aim the neutralizers correctly at us,” said Gromit.
“Well, that can be soon be sorted out,” said K. Then he turned to J. “Get me a neutralizer.”
“I can’t, man,” J panted. “Driving upside makes it hard. Besides, G has gone already.”
“What?” cried K. He turned around to see the Top Bun van had gone.
The van went back on the road ahead of the road accident and he drove out of the tunnel.
Outside of 62 West Wallaby Street, the road runner was running by. Then Wild E. Coyote appeared and got out his fork and knife ready to eat him. Then the coyote was hit by the Top Bun van.
"Mee-mee!" said the road runner as he shot off.
"You're welcome!" called Gromit, as he got out of the van and went inside 62. He went to the lounge and he found Wallace.
"Oh, there you are, stranger," greeted his master. "Where have you been?"
"As I returned Piella's purse," began Gromit, showing him Piella's dairy, "I found this and – "
"Wait a minute!" interrupted Wallace. "I have something more important to tell you first. Isn't that right, my giant glass of beer?"
Gromit turned around and saw Piella and Fluffles had beaten him to it. Piella rose to Wallace. "Yes, my giant gin and tonic," she agreed. "Wallace had proposed to me and I said 'Yes', in no seconds flat."
"What the hell?" shouted Gromit.
"That was a strange reaction," frowned Wallace.
"No, I mean that's my way of seeing and saying something new," Gromit lied, realizing Wallace was no help at all. "Like seeing Star Wars for the first time."
In 1977, Gromit was one of the first few people to see Star Wars at the cinema and, when he saw the Stardestroyer chasing the Rebel Cruiser, he cried, "What the hell?" And everyone shouted, "SHUSH!" at him.
"Well, in that case, let me give you a sexy kiss," cried Piella. Gromit tried to walk away, but Piella grabbed him and her diary out of his paws. She kissed him so much to make sure he didn't see her throw her dairy on the glowing fire.
"There you see," she smiled. "That wasn't too bad. In time, we're going to get along much better than twin siblings!"
Piella remembers the time, when she was signing autographs, there was two twin ginger-haired brothers, who were arguing about getting the autograph.
"I want it!"
"No, you don't deserve it!"
Piella just signed two of them and gave them each. But when they each got one, one looked at the other's autograph and tried to take it from him.
"Why must I do everything myself?" complained Gromit, as he spend the night looking for something to prevent Piella for killing Wallace.
"What if I just lock the door and eat it in my mouth? No, Wallace will only break out with the Mole he bought from International Rescue." Gromit looked at the picture seeing Wallace riding the Mole out the garden.
"What if I kill her before she kills him? No, I'm not that kind of hero and it wouldn't make me any better than she is. I need something just to get rid of her items before she does anything. But how?"
He decided to get out Electronics for Dog and read through it. He found something rather good. "That's it!" he exclaimed.
For the rest of the night, there was a lot of hammering, sawing, tapping and drilling. But Gromit knew Wallace wouldn't hear it due to the cotton wool in his ears. That morning, No. 62 had a visitor and you know who it would be.
"Hello, my baked lobster!" greeted Piella as Wallace opened the door.
"Come in, my roasted turkey!" greeted Wallace back, as she walked in the house. But she didn't get far due to the Spectrum Security Scanner Gromit had built from his book. Gromit, wearing a Captain Scarlet hat, searched her whole body and her bag.
"Sorry, lovely," Wallace apologized to Piella. "He's suspicious."
"Due to the cereal killer on the loose?" asked Piella.
"Yes, that's right," agreed Gromit, as he snatched her bag and found… only a pot with a spoon. As an annoyed Wallace snatched the Piella's stuff back and went in the kitchen with Piella, Gromit saw Fluffles, who was looking sad.
"Miss Piella isn't that beaten yet, for sure," she sighed.
"Don't worry," Gromit assured her. "I've taken care of a few businesses."
When they entered the kitchen, Wallace and Piella prepared for their lunch.
"How about some nice onion soup to start with?" asked Piella.
"And with the bread to go with it, it will be perfect." But when Wallace got the bread, he couldn't find the knife to cut it with. And he couldn't find any knives or forks or even spoons. "That dog!"
"Never mind,” said Piella. “He's busy minding his own business. He won't bother us now, not with this delicious soup I made myself."
Wallace sat down and looked forward to eating this soup but, as he was about to taste the first mouthful from his spoon, Gromit knocked him off his chair and had it!
"It's all right, Wallace, I was being a food taster," said Gromit to an angry Wallace, thinking up of an excuse.
"I don't need a royal food taster!" shouted Wallace. "Now I'm going to sell you away if you don't trust Piella!"
"Oh, Wallace, don't be that threatening!" begged Piella, pulling Gromit by the ears. "He must want examples of my cooking, that's all. Now, let Auntie Piella sort you out," she said to Piella. Then she whispered, "You're dead, mutt!" And she got out a mini lightsabre and sliced her arm with dipping bloody blood! "Ouch! He sliced me!"
"WHAT THE HELL?" yelled a shocked Wallace.
"I was just trying to help him and he was playing Darth Vader against Princess Leia with me!"
"I didn't do it!"
"I don't believe you!"
"Yeah, well, you wouldn't!" yelled Gromit, having the last straw with him. "If you weren't so blinded by that bitch, you would know what's good for you!"
"Gromit! You know, brawns have no voice over brains!" Wallace argued back.
"Well, Wallace, we need to show who's boss," joined in Piella, getting out a chain.
Now, Gromit knew there was no way out of this. He looked at Fluffles.
"Don't worry," she said. "She does it to me all the time."
It's true! Piella makes Fluffles, in chains and wearing a muzzle, do the dishes, the hovering, the sweeping, the gardening and the ariel position on the telly, being the model herself. And if she is not being fast enough for her, Piella use the hoover behind her just to make her go faster.
And that's Wallace did to Gromit. He was in chains and wearing a muzzle and he had to do the dishes.
"That will teach you not to offend or assault anyone!" Wallace told Gromit, locking him to the chains.
"Oh, Wallace, my steak and kidney pie, have you got a minute?" called Piella from upstairs.
"Coming, my pizza slice," called Wallace back. Then he turned to Gromit. "As for you, you're not going anywhere until you have done every last one. I don't want to see a pea stuck on a fork left."
Gromit was working on the dishes, but he was more focused on upstairs, where he saw Piella and Wallace.
"I'm sorry, Wallace," said Piella. "My left shoe fell off and it landed on the cogs here."
Wallace tried to work out how Piella's shoe could have got on the cogs. But he quickly stepped forward to do it. Piella looked down at Wallace and smiled as she pulled her arms and aimed for Wallace.
Gromit tried to grab the key Wallace put on the key holder, but he couldn't reach it. "WALLACE! WALLACE!" he shouted.
"Shut up, Gromit!" Wallace shouted back. "I've taken enough crap from you!"
Piella was getting closer and closer, then a flour bag was flying towards her and it pushed her down the stairs.
Finally, Wallace was able to catch the shoe. Then he turned around and saw his lover has vanished. "Hey, where have you gone?" he asked. Then he saw the flour traits on the stairs. There, at the bottom, he found her, coughing in flour.
"Are you all right, my flower? Oh, flour. Get it?" Wallace chuckled as he tried to help her.
"GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF ME!" shrieked Piella, jumping up. Wallace back away. "I hate flour and flowers, for your information! And I hate damn bread! And I hate bloody bakers! You complete and utter shithead!" She took the ring off her head and threw it in Wallace's face.
She started to head down the stairs, but Wallace, now scared of her, followed her. "Can't we talk about this?" he begged. "I didn't know you were allergic to flour. I'll change my job and – "
"NO! Just piss off!" She grabbed Fluffles and they headed out of the door. "Fluffles, I'm going to have a word with you back home!"
Wallace was so depressed about Piella breaking up with him, so he decided to free Gromit and do the dishes himself. When he finished, he wasn't feeling any better. So Gromit kindly made him a cup of tea.
"Thank you, Gromit," he said sadly. "I can't work it out. Why didn't she tell me she was allergic to flour?"
Gromit knew Wallace was upset so he decided to keep the murdering business quiet. "Maybe she was trying to change, so the chemistry between you two would work. Obviously, it didn't."
"Well, at least, I'm not a shithead, am I, lad?"
"Well… Er… You… Are…"
"Well, am I or not?"
"Well, nobody's perfect. I'm not perfect."
"Well, no one can be everyone's cup of tea," sighed Wallace. "Not even the movies the big critics rave about."
"I'll drink to that," Gromit said. They toasted their cups of tea and were just about to drink it, when… the doorbell rang.
Wallace got up and answered the door. It was Piella with a present. "I'm so sorry, Wallace," she apologized. "When flour gets up my nose, it affects my brain and it… You know."
"Yes, I get the picture," replied Wallace. "Well, all is forgiven."
"No, I have brought you this cake to make up," she insisted.
"Well, you shouldn't have, but if you insist," Wallace smiled.
"I can't join you, because Fluffles isn't feeling too well, so I must go back and look after her," Piella said, heading to the door. "I'm sorry."
"That's right," said Wallace. "Bye-bye, my love."
"Bye-bye, my brave chicken," said Fluffles, closing the door behind her.
"Well, Gromit, how about getting the kettle on, lad?" But Gromit was nowhere to be seen or heard. "Gromit? GROMIT?"