Sorry I haven't updated in a really long time but I'm just getting used to school again and I can only update on the weekends now...So...Let's continue ;)
Warning: cussing, slight trigger?
I ran to the restroom from the lunch table as soon as I felt the bile in my throat.
I don't know what came over me, but I ran straight into the last stall and emptied out any food I've possibly eaten.
Calum was right- I haven't been eating much... My stomach never stops cramping and it makes me dizzy sometimes.
But maybe Luke would like me better if I ate less...
He's the only guy that's ever shown interest in me and I don't want to fail him.
He himself was perfect- a little rude and arrogant- but could be sweet and loving.
If I ate less- I'd be thinner- if I was thinner- he wouldn't be disgusted by me
I kept thinking until more bile rose up and I was back over the toilet.
I told the table I had to meet with a teacher during lunch and just 'forgot', but I actually went to the restrooms to check on Y/n.
No. I don't care for her. At all actually. I'm just making sure she's not giving herself a bad rep- I'm a nice guy like that.
I turned the corner, into the women's restroom and heard gagging.
My eyes widened and I started pushing the stall doors open until I came to one what wouldn't budge.
"OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR!" I hissed pounding on the last stall "OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL CRAWL UNDER THIS DOOR AND INVADE ALL PRIVACY!"
I got no response and I did as I threatened.
My stomach hit the floor as I crawled into the space below the door to the other side.
God, It smells gross.
I looked around the stall and saw Y/n in the back corner, knees to her chest and her hands covering her face.
"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked angrily.
As soon as I heard someone banging on the doors, I crawled to the corner, hiding my face.
This is disgusting. I was disgusting.
I couldn't put a name to the swearing voice until the person threatened to climb under the door and actually did.
Only Ashton would get on a dirty bathroom floor.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked me.
I wanted to answer, but what would I say? 'Oh hello, I was just puking because I haven't eaten a real meal in 2 weeks and I'm trying desperately to please your friend'? No.
"Go away" Is what I resorted to.
"No." He hissed, scooting towards me until he was right in front of me "Tell me what the fuck is going on"
I sniffed down my quiet sob and tried to take a deep breath to calm myself.
"Y/n..." He whispered gently grabbing my arm away from my face.
I snapped- he had NO reason to touch me. He never cared before, why care now? "I'm just sick, Ashton" I hissed.
He instantly pulled back his arm and his gentle face was replaced with the Ashton we all knew.
"Fine then, fucking lie to me, sure." Her groaned, getting up.
Me? A liar? "Oh like you did to me about those 'cat scratches'?" I mumbled back.
He stopped dead in his tracks, his arm reaching for the door- "That's none of your business"
"And like this is any of yours?" I spat.
He scoffed and unlocked the door, striding out.
I wanted to just fucking see if she was alright.
But noooooooooooooo, why tell Ashton? He's not special! Ashton's just an asshole that no one cares about! Why tell him ANYTHING?
"Hey, Ashton, you alright?" Calum asked as I sat back down at the lunch table.
I nodded subtly and within a few minutes, Y/n came back with a fake smile etched to her lips.
"Y/n? What happened? You were gone for a while!" Beverly asked, linking her arm in mine.
I saw how Y/n eyes darted to Beverly's arm as Luke pulled her in kiss, which Y/n declined by giving him her cheek instead.
"I'm fine." She lied with a deceiving smile.
"GOOD!" Bev laughed, kissing my cheek.
I don't know why in the hell I'm worried about Y/n.
That's all for today lovelies <3 How do y'all feel about their self-hatred? Do you think Ash will ever find out WHY she's deprived of food? Comment your thoughts and feelings :) Stay patient and I'll update when possible. Thankyou for reading so far<3 Love y'all