Hey y'all I know it's been a while. I'm baackk!!! I've been kinda busy lately, i went to the ROWYSO concert in Dallas and I had the best night of my life, I guess that's just what 5sos does for ya. But it brought me back in the mood of wanting a writing outlet, such as these!!! So here's your update lovelies :)
Warning: cussing, maybe trigger
There used to be a time where Ashton told me all his secrets and never lied to me.
Those weren't cat scratches, and it was obvious since he was so defensive about them.
Why would Ashton self-harm though? His life is perfect. Ashton Fletcher Irwin, schools most popular fuckboi.
What was there to loath? Ashton's simply perfect.
All night, images of Ashton hurting himself filled my brain and I couldn't help but squeeze my head with my hands, trying to get the images out.
When I finally did fall asleep, I dreamt of Ashton walking home after school and going up the stairs into the bathroom and locking the door, sliding down it with tears running down his red face.
It's been a week now, since I last saw Ashton at the brunch.
People at school still think he slept with me and call me a whore, sometimes knocking my stuff on the floor to embarrass me.
Every time I see Ashton in the halls at school, his bracelets cover his wrists and he constantly fiddles with them.
I never noticed it before, but Ashton's eyes wander around, like he's anxious someone will rat him out.
When lunch came around, Maria and Beverly walked side-by-side a few feet in front of me and we all walked through the double doors and into the long line.
"No, Maria, the magazine was made to help people understand life outside of their own." Beverly explained.
"Ugh no, it's for bitchy snobs who want the world to know their stories of how they got that bitchy." Maria rolled her eyes.
I only grabbed a Gatorade and checked out and we sat down at our usual table.
"That's all Y/n?" Bev asked
I was pulled from my thoughts and faked a smile "not hungry..."
"Bull shit" Maria hissed "you've eaten 2 apples all week and never even finish them, you're starving."
"No. I'm fine." I said sternly "seriously, not hungry."
"Hey baby." Calum said, walking up behind Maria and kissing her cheek.
"Hey." She said unamused.
"What's wrong?" Calum asked but Maria just shook her head and he sat down next to her.
Soon, Luke, Michael...and Ashton, made their way over to our table and sat down too. Luke next to me since we're "dating" now...
Luke smiled and put an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a kiss.
Kissing Luke was an upside of dating him, he was a little rough sometimes, but the lip ring was cool.
"So what's up babe?" He asked, as he pulled away.
"nothing really." I said biting my lip.
"You gotta secret!" Michael exclaimed.
All heads turned towards him and he was bouncing up and down "Y/n's gotta secret!"
Then everyone looked at me.
"What?" I replied
"Spill!" Mikey laughed pointing his fork at me.
"Everyone has secrets, Mikey." I replied with a straight face.
"Fine whatever. Hey, where's your food?" He asked pointing to my empty space on the table.
"Not hungry." I lied.
I've told this lie before, and I'll tell it a million times more.
I haven't eaten that much since my date with Luke, Mom and Dad worked too much to notice and no one cared.
There was no way I was eating in front of anyone anymore.
I almost ate that sandwich at brunch- damn I wanted it SOO bad!- but Ashton was more important at the time and I didn't think twice.
"You haven't really eaten in like 2 weeks Y/n..." Calum said, sounding worried.
"I eat..." I defended.
Everyday I eat at least one slice of bread with peanut butter on it, I don't wanna faint in front of anyone.
"But..." Calum sighed "are you sure you're okay?"
I simply just nodded and took a sip out of my Gatorade
"That's my girl! Always okay!" Luke smiled, pulling me close for a side hug.
"Whatever Lucas." Michael laughed.
Everyone was socializing, but Ashton and I.
Ashton was sitting, picking at his chicken with a fork and occasionally eating some. Eyes, never leaving his tray.
"Ashton, you okay?" Michael laughed, facing Ashton.
Ashton's head shot up and he 'smiled' "Definitely."
Before his eyes returned to his tray, they met mine for a moment and my mouth went dry.
He then, cut it off by looking towards Bev.
"Hey Ashy." She smiled, playing with his hair "I really loved our date, maybe next time just us...?"
That date SUCKED. Probably on the list of worst dates ever.
"Sure." I replied flatly.
She squealed and cupped my cheeks, bringing me in for a long kiss.
I know you're supposed to keep your eyes closed during a kiss, but mine scanner over to Y/n.
She was staring at us with lips slightly parted as Luke constantly kissed her head.
I looked her in the eyes as Beverly continued her work on my lips and Y/n soon got up and went to the 'restroom'.
She's been really strange lately, even before she saw my cuts... Why wasn't she eating?
That's all for now!! I know it's kinda short but the next will be longer! How do y'all feel about her developing an eating disorder? Ashton cutting? Their eye contact? Comment your thoughts! Thankyou for reading so far<3 Love y'all