~~Bella woke up feeling as grim as ever as she threw her arm up to shut off her alarm. She had arrived back from England yesterday morning and today was the first day back at school. In a way she was so glad to be back, but of course there was a huge part of her that still really missed her home back in England. It was so nice to spend Christmas over there seeing all of her family and friends, but at the same time it was also very sad. They always say that the holidays are the hardest times when losing a loved one, especially the first year. They weren't wrong. It hurt, waking up on Christmas Day without her, eating Christmas dinner and celebrating New Years. Everybody had poured their hearts out that day, it was extremely tough.
For the first time since Amy had died, Bella had witnessed a sadder side of Scott as they watched the fireworks fly up into the sky. He had his arm around her and was the quietest she had ever known him to be. Every year since they were kids, she and Amy would link arms with Scott on either side on him and watch the fireworks together. Now it was just the two of them. Bella shut her eyes and took in a deep breath as her tears finally caved and fell down her face. Bella hoped that Amy was up there somewhere, looking down on them. She hoped that she was happy and hoped she knew how much they missed her. It took a while for her to realize that she wasn't the only one crying. As she turned to look at Scott she noticed tears also streaming down his face. It was the first time she had ever seen him cry. Bella didn't need to ask him, she knew.
After lying there for a while, Bella sighed and headed straight for the shower. She stood under the warm water a little longer then usual, dreading the thought of school. She had completely humiliated herself with Liam, what was she thinking kissing him! How could she even think that he liked her? She was an idiot she knew that and had probably ruined their friendship forever. The very thought scared her, it was all because of him that she had tried to move on with her life, he had this way of distracting her from the rest of the world, he made her forget. If she lost that, lost him, Bella wasn't sure what she would do. She was never listening to Sam or Santi ever again! She finally turned the water off and dried herself off.
After brushing her teeth she walked into her bedroom and changed into a black pair of leggings and a white t-shirt under a long white oversized sweater followed by her long brown boots. Bella walked towards her window and opened up her blinds, there was still a lot of snow outside which made her happy. Hopefully it would continue to snow for a while, she wasn't ready to let it disappear just yet. Walking over to her desk, she sprayed on some of the Dior perfume she had gotten from Scott for Christmas and threw her hair up in a messy bun leaving a few curly strands to hang loose.
She knew Santi would approve, Sam on the other hand would hate it. Sam had a thing about messy hair, but Bella could care less, it's not like there's anybody to impress anymore. By the time she was putting on her makeup she heard the doorbell ring which meant Scott had come to pick her up. She applied some concealer, trying her best to cover up the bags under her eyes from the nightmare she had last night, which of course left her wide awake for hours afterwards. She grabbed what she needed for school and headed downstairs.
She felt the nerves hit her as soon as they walked into school that morning with Scott at her side. She kept her head down, not wanting to come face to face with a particular brown eyed hottie, what the hell was she supposed to say to him? There's no way she can face him. Great, not only was she dodging Dean but now Liam as well. Speaking of Dean, she found it weird that he hadn't attended the Winter Dance. Not that she cared, but it was still weird. Walking towards her locker she spotted Sam and Santi.
"Hey guys," she said, making them both turn to face her.
"Hi Bella," Sam replied quietly, side glancing at Santi. Bella looked from Sam to Santi and noticed they were both acting strange and since when was Sam so quiet?
"What is it?" she asked, glancing up at Scott to see if he knew, but he looked just as confused as she did.
It was then that she noticed the many stares being thrown her way as people passed her in the halls, as usual most of the glares were from the girls. She could hear them whispering about her but was unable to hear what they were saying. A group of girls passed her and it was then she could make out some of the words, things like, Dean, Bella, Liam, attention, fake, slut, bitch and the one word that really hurt her, rape.
"You haven't heard have you?" Santi said to her, keeping her voice low.
"Heard what?" Scott scowled.
"Somehow it got out about what happened at the club that time Dean attacked Bella. Only they changed the story," Sam told them.
"What do you mean?" Bella asked.
"Their saying that you hooked up with Dean willingly, but because of Scott you cried rape so he wouldn't be mad at you," Santi explained in a sad voice.
"What?" Bella gasped. How could they accuse her of crying rape. They weren't even there! Santi squeezed her arm sympathetically before continuing, "They also think that your using the attention to make Liam like you."
"And now they think you've slept with him as well as Dean," Sam interrupted. Bella stood there frozen not believing what she was hearing, how can people just assume things like that? No this isn't happening she told herself, this has to be a dream, this can't be happening!
"Who the f*ck started this?" Scott demanded.
"We don't know?" Santi said nervously, obviously afraid that his temper would get the best of him.
"I'm gonna kill them," he warned. "How f*cking dare they!"
"Bella?" She looked up at her name, the tears threatening to fall any minute. "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry," Sam said and engulfed her into a hug.
"There's also something else," Santi added hesitantly. Bella lifted her head from Sam's shoulder and turned to face her. "Dean's been kicked out of school."
"What?" Bella shrieked, wait this was a good thing right? Now she doesn't have to worry anymore.
"Apparently he got into a pretty big fight over the Christmas holiday, his parents had enough so they shipped him off to military school," Sam informed her.
"Which has left a lot of girls pretty pissed, they think it's all your fault," Santi finished.
Her fault? How is any of this her fault? He attacked her! Liam was right, she didn't ask him to do that, that was all him. How is this happening? Why does this always happen to her? Bella placed her head into her hands and let the tears finally break free, she didn't care who saw her, it's not like things could get any worse.
"Bella," Scott muttered, pulling her into a hug. "It's alright, I'll make this better."
"No, you can't!" she cried.
"Bella," Sam squeezed her arm trying to make her turn but she gently shrugged her off and pulled away from Scott. "I have to go," she said, grabbing her bag.
"Bella wait," Scott said, grabbing hold of her arm tightly.
"Please, just leave me alone!" she yelled, pulling away from his grasp and walking away from them as fast as she could.
Not paying attention to where she was going she ended up colliding straight into the arms of Liam, his smouldering eyes burning into hers, she felt her whole body go limp and wanted nothing more then to wrap her arms around him so she could feel safe again, so he could tell her everything was going to be ok. But she knew people were watching her, she knew everything was ruined, even Liam couldn't help her this time. She could feel his breath on her face and watched as he opened his mouth to say something, but before he could she gently pushed him away and left.
It was Tuesday morning and Bella was sitting in her Science class, the class she used to have with Sam, but apparently the schedules always change over the Christmas break, sadly enough. She was still pretty early, but she would prefer this then walking into a full classroom with every stare glued to her, no this was better. She pulled out her iPod, leaving one earpiece to hang loosely. She felt like crap right now. She had barely slept last night and was going to skip today but knew it would only give people another thing to gossip about.
Yesterday was the most embarrassing, most horrible day of her life, she hated that everyone thought of her as some whore, that she cried rape. What kind of a person would make something up like that? She didn't feel like she belonged anymore. Her head shot up as a few students started filling the classroom, their eyes instantly drawn to her. She bowed her head down, ignoring their stares, she knew they were already talking about her.
Something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye, she looked up to see Liam making his way inside the classroom looking even hotter then ever, what is it about that leather jacket? She quickly looked away before he spotted her, her heart racing rapidly. Why is he here, she wondered? Suddenly the seat beside her was no longer occupied. Her body tensed and her heartbeat increased. She was surrounded by that scent she was so fond of and knew it was Liam. She noticed his hand was reaching out to her and held her breath thinking he was going to touch her, but instead reached out for the spare earpiece that was hanging free. He placed the earpiece into his ear, shifting slightly closer to her as he did. 'Bad Company' by 'Five Fingers Death Punch' was playing, she glanced sideways at his gorgeous face, he seemed impressed by her choice of music.
"I didn't expect you to be a fan of this type of music," his gaze flickering over at her.
"I like a bit of everything, it depends on what mood I'm in," she replied. His face slowly turned into a slight frown, he almost looked sad. Bella avoided his gaze, she could feel feeling everyone's eyes on her and could only imagine what they were saying about her now.
"Do you mind?" Liam asked, pointing to her iPod, she nodded yes and gave it to him. Bella watched him as he browsed through her songs, a small smile appearing on his face. The song was suddenly replaced with Maroon 5 'She Will Be Loved'. Bella felt her body stiffen a little, she could feel his eyes burning into her. Why did he pick this song, she asked herself? She slowly turned her head towards him and found him watching her, just like he had done several times before. He smiled at her gently. God why does he keep doing this to her?
Bella smiled back weakly and noticed the continuous stares from everyone. Obviously sensing her discomfort, Liam followed her gaze and met their stares which instantly made them turn away. She smiled to herself and silently thanked him.
"Hey Bella," someone said from behind her. She turned her head around to find a guy with short brown spiky hair, sitting next to a guy with blond shaggy hair. "We were just wondering if what Dean said was true?" he asked.
"How about you mind your own business," Liam growled.
"What do you mean what Dean said?" she asked, cutting off the guy who was about to reply to Liam.
"We saw him before he left, he told us everything," he smirked.
Bella could feel the anger rushing through her body, "So you decided to spread it around?" she shouted rather loudly, making a few more heads turn.
"Nah, apparently that's what you're so good at," he said, winking at her.
"What did you say?" Liam growled, standing up from his chair to face him.
"Liam," Bella jumped in surprise, wanting to reach out and pull him back down, but couldn't find it in her to try.
"Hey man, I'm just getting in line," he said arrogantly, making her want to slap him so hard across the face.
"Yeah you wish," Liam scoffed.
"Mr Matthews sit down please," the science teacher said.
"I'm sure Bella can make it come true," the guy said, giving her another wink. "After all, isn't that what sluts do."
Bella could feel tears welling up in her eyes, she hated showing people how weak she was but she couldn't stop the tears from falling, she needed to get out of here. Before she could get up to leave, Liam dragged the guy out of his chair and punched him in the face making everyone gasp, including herself. The guy's friend rushed over, pulling Liam away who was still aiming for another shot, his face flushed with anger.
"That's enough!" The teacher yelled, standing between the both of them. "The both of you in detention for the rest of the week."
Great another problem she had caused. Bella rose from her chair, she couldn't stay here anymore, this was just going to add to the list of things that people are going to talk about.
"Miss Roberts, sit down!" the teacher ordered, noticing her almost departure. Bella ignored him and continued to walk away. "Miss Roberts, if you don't return right now you will also be joining your friends," he warned her, but she could really care less right now and rushed out of the room.
Walking home was definitely not the best idea in the world, it was snowing very heavily and she was only wearing her jeans and t-shirt with a fairly light grey sweater over it, she was freezing! The thought of going to her locker before leaving hadn't occurred to her at the time, she wished it had so she would be wearing her warm coat right now. All that was going through her head at the time was to get as far away from that building as possible! Bella wrapped her arms around herself, trying to fight away the cold snow that was surrounding her but failing miserably. Her hair was already wet and her whole body was shivering. Bella sniffled and wiped away her tears. How could Dean do this to her? Why did he hate her so much? How can somebody be so cruel and lie about so many things and not feel bad about it?
As Bella carried on walking, she could hear a car drive up behind her and start to slow down. Too scared to look Bella decided to just carry on walking, the car still trailing at her side as she did. All of a sudden the car came to a stop and she heard the car door open. Bella quickened her pace as she panicked a little, just keep walking she told herself. Two strong arms were suddenly wrapped around her making her scream.
"No!" she screamed, trying to push him away, confused that they knew her name.
"Bella, it's me," the person said, spinning her around. Bella looked up into the eyes of the guy that caused her heart to race every time she saw him, the guy that made her blush like crazy, the guy that always seemed to be around when she needed him, the guy she was utterly convinced had stolen her heart.
"Liam?" she whispered, low enough for him to hear.
He sighed heavily, searching her eyes carefully, "Bella, what are you doing?" he asked, she didn't know what to say so she stayed quiet. "Come on, get in the car."
Bella pushed him away from her leaving him confused and slightly shocked. "No."
"Bella come on, I'll take you home."
"No. Just leave me alone!"
Bella couldn't be around him anymore, not because she didn't want to be, but because it was too hard. He always had this effect on her that nobody else seemed to have and at first she thought she was strong enough to fight it, to make it go away, that they could just be friends, but she knew. She knew that her heart wanted more and she knew that he didn't feel the same way, as nice and flirty as he may be with her, she was just Scott's little cousin and that's all she would ever be.
"Bella, I'm not letting you walk in this weather," he exclaimed, looking at her like she was crazy.
"I'll be fine," she told him and started walking away only to have him grab hold of her arm spinning her back around.
"Get off of me!" she bellowed loudly.
"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, concern in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" she repeated. "Liam, everything is wrong. Everything is so messed up," she cried. "Please, just leave me." She tried to pull away from his grasp but he tightened his hold on her making it impossible for her to move.
"I'm not leaving you, do you hear me," he shouted eagerly. "Please Bella, get in the car."
"Bella, I'm not kidding around," he shouted again, making it clear he was getting irritated. "Get in the damn car!"
"No," she yelled, struggling against his hold on her. "Stop trying to help me. I don't want your help!"
"Bella," he frowned, his voice getting louder and angrier.
"No," she yelled back and finally managed to pull herself away from him. Thinking he would leave her alone she began to walk away again, when she felt him suddenly grab her waist, picking her up like she didn't weigh a thing before stalking towards his car.
"Liam, let me go," she whined, trying to break free, but of course he was way too strong for her. He opened his car door and let her down.
"I'm not a toy you know, you can't just drag me around like a stupid doll!" she yelled angrily.
"Why are you being like this?" he asked, still very much annoyed.
"Why do you care so much?"
Bella was only being this way because of how he made her feel, but of course telling him that would make things even worse, she would only make a bigger fool of herself.
She watched as he studied her face carefully, almost like he was trying to read her, "I..." he started quietly, his expression soft and thoughtful.
"Just let me go," she sighed, she needed to be away form him, she needed him to stop touching her, it wasn't fair.
"Bella, get in the car," he said to her, she knew he was growing impatient now.
"Do not tell me what to do!"
Liam sighed heavily and lightly chuckled, "So stubborn."
Thinking he had given up she attempted to walk away and was happy when he didn't make a move to stop her. Catching her off guard, he grabbed hold of her waist again and forced her inside his car. Annoyed and slightly afraid, she began scooting further down trying to reach the other door. As if he read her mind, he grabbed hold of her arm and dragged her towards him, struggling against his hold the whole way. She didn't like this, she knew Liam would never hurt her but, this situation reminded her too much of what had happened to Amy. Being forced into a car against her will and then driving away angry.
"Bella, stop fighting," he growled, tightening his hold on her a little too much.
"Get off of me," she yelled, feeling her arm start to ache.
"No," he yelled back.
"Please," she begged. "You're hurting me."
Liam let go of her instantly, almost like her touch had burned him. He looked away from her, almost like he was ashamed. Bella felt a little guilty just then, she knew he would never hurt her.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. He gazed over at her, his hair slightly wet making it hang down his face and around his eyes. He was still wearing his leather jacket which shined slightly from where the snow had been, she had to admit, he looked so dangerous and dark yet sexy and inviting at the same time. She felt nervous at this which made her even angrier, she didn't need this right now.
"Bella, what were you thinking? Why were you running from me? You know I would never hurt you," he said to her. "Bella you know that right?"
Bella nodded her head, of course she does, "I know that."
She looked away and watched the snow fall down on top of the window shield, it was already starting to cover. "It doesn't matter," she responded simply.
"Yes it does," he prodded, making her annoyed yet again.
"No it doesn't," she argued back.
"Bella," he sighed angrily, making her snap.
"No stop," she yelled, tears stinging her eyes. "Just stop trying to make things better. You can't fix this this. You can't!"
Bella could feel the tears coming down her cheeks and felt them sting a little from the cold. Liam took his hand and gently placed it on top of hers, she closed her eyes wishing he would stop, he was making things so much harder.
"Bella, don't listen to what other people think. I know who you are, so do your friends and so do your family. Don't let them bring you down," he muttered, making her open her eyes. He stared at her intensely causing her body to heat up, she had never felt this before, this need. It was so new, she didn't know how to deal with it. She moved away from him, scared that she might do something she will regret if she doesn't.
"I have to go," she murmured, reaching out to open the door, but Liam was faster and took hold of her waist, pulling her back. She pushed against his chest and started pounding as hard as she could, all the time begging him to let her go.
"Bella, stop!" he yelled shaking her lightly.
Bella looked into Liam's eyes and watched his face, his brown eyes seemed darker then usual. They reminded her of the way he looked at her in her dream, but those eyes were full of lust, what do these ones mean? She noticed his breath quicken just like hers, his gaze flickering down to her lips and this time she caught it. He licked his lower lip and brought his eyes back up into hers. Her head was screaming for her to push him away but her body was pleading for her to pull him closer.
Not even thinking about which would be wiser, Bella leaned closer and kissed him. She was about to pull back and curse herself once again, but to her surprise he started kissing her back. Liam released her arm which she immediately ran through his hair, grabbing hold of it gently just like she had imagined doing so many times before. She couldn't believe what was happening right now. Liam was really kissing her, not a dream or a fantasy but real life. He was even better then she imagined. He was kissing her so deeply yet passionately at the same time, she had never been kissed like this in her life. He let his hands wonder around her waist, down to her thighs and pulling her leg up so she was almost straddling him.
Suddenly it hit her, what would happen after this? What if this doesn't mean anything like it does with her? Bella knew right now what her heart was telling her, she was stupidly in love with Liam. It would break her heart if he didn't feel the same way, in fact who was she kidding, of course he didn't. Scott had even told her, all he does is hook up. She didn't want that to happen to her, it would wreck her heart completely. Bella refused to be one of those girls.
"Wait stop," she panted, pushing away from him. He looked at her warmly yet confused, "Are you ok?" His eyes were filled with want and it was taking everything in her not to pull him towards her again, but she had to stop this before she got hurt.
"I can't do this," she whispered, loud enough for him to hear. "I don't want this, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...." She felt her tears take over her body once again and scooted to the other side, away from his warm embrace.
"I'm sorry," she cried, bowing her head down into her hands.
"Bella," he muttered in his deep caring voice, she loved the way he would say her name. He reached out to touch her but she pulled away, afraid that if he did she would end up back in his arms, as nice as that sounded she needed to stay strong.
"Here, put this on," he said, taking his jacket and placing it around her, his smell surrounding her immediately. "I'll take you home," he said quietly and started the engine.
They finally arrive at her house which took longer then usual because of the snow. They both sat there awkwardly in the silence for a while, neither one knowing what to say. Thinking she should just leave, she undid her seat belt.
"Bella," he said quietly, making her stomach flutter. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I knew you were upset and I should have stopped it. I would never take advantage of you Bella, I really am sorry. I understand if you don't want to talk to me," he said, making her heart melt. She couldn't believe that it was her that had kissed him first, yet here he was taking the blame, he really is too good for her.
"Bella? Please talk to me, are you ok?" he asked, making her look up at him finally.
"Am I ok? Liam, look at my life, nothing is ok anymore," she exclaimed sadly.
"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, nodding his head like it was all his fault.
"It's ok, it's not your fault," she replied.
"Yes it is," he responded.
"What do you mean?" she asked, why would it be his fault?
Liam looked over at her nervously, studying her face, he suddenly frowned and looked away, "Never mind."
Oh no he wasn't getting off that easy, she thought. "Liam what?"
"It's nothing Bella," he repeated.
"Tell me," she demanded, getting slightly annoyed.
"Look I took care of it ok," he replied, raising his voice.
"What do you mean took care of it?" she questioned. "Took care of what? Liam!"
He looked across at her, his face hesitant. She wanted to prod him some more when a thought came into her head. "You mean, took care of Dean?" she asked hoping the answer was no. Sadly his face told it all, "I'm sorry Bella."
"What did you do?" she asked, not sure if she really wanted to know.
"Look I didn't realize it would cause all of this, if I did I never would have -"
"Oh my god, the fight. Sam told me that Dean got into a fight over the Christmas break." His face looked away from hers, that's when she knew. "It was you, wasn't it."
He sighed and dragged his hand through his messy hair, "Bella," he started but she cut him off again. "Why? Why did you have to fight with him?"
"It just happened ok, it was a mistake, it's just at the time -"
"A mistake that I now have to pay for!" she yelled at him.
"I'm sorry Bella," he apologized again, reaching out to touch her arm. Bella backed away and slipped his jacket off.
"Well sorry isn't going to make it better is it!" With that she stepped out of his car and ran inside her warm home letting the tears flow once again. She really needed her sister right now.