Chapter 16: Why Did You...
I groaned and rolled over for the seventh time. Tiredly I swept my phone off the bedside table beside me and checked the time.
Brilliant. I threw the iPhone down by the foot of the bed and sat up, rubbing a hand through my hair. We've all had long days today; photo shoots, signings, interviews, script readings and fitness training. Plus we're in New York so we were rushing round all the time trying to make sure we were where we were supposed to be either early or on time. Kendall had stayed at the hotel all day packing to go back to Barbados in about five hours time for the Hunger Games movie. She's getting her hair dyed to her natural color, she'll be doing a different schedule to what we're all used too and I'm gonna miss her so fucking much I don't think I'll survive.
I missed her when she went the first time but that was for three days and I was so busy that I hardly got any free time and my mind was preoccupied. Now she's going for three weeks and two out of those three weeks I'm not doing anything except fitness training every couple days but that's it.
My tee shirt caught my eye and before I knew it I had slipped it on, grabbed the master key from the counter table and left my hotel room. When I had shut Kendall's door behind me I saw her lying on her bed, phone in hand, suitcases by the door and the hotel room looking brand new. She looked up when I shrugged my tee shirt back off, kicked my shoes off, leaving me in only black skinny jeans and laid down next to her on the bed; wrapping my arms around her waist and pushing my forehead into the crook of her neck.
"Hey." Kendall giggled. I sighed as I felt her fingers run through my hair gently, the simple gesture making shivers run down my spine and then back up again. "What's up?"
I shrugged and moved my head so I'm now looking at her. "Couldn't sleep." I mumbled.
She locked her phone and threw it across the bed like I had done minutes before and then her arms were around my neck; her legs tangled in with mine and her hands still in my hair. There was no space between us whatsoever and I'd be lying if I said this wasn't the most comfortable position I've ever been in.
"How come?" She asked.
I shrugged again, leaning up and kissing her nose making her smile. "I was just thinking about tomorrow. I don't want you to go."
She sighed and rested her head against my shoulder, her hands fell down and her nails dug into my biceps making me tense up and take a deep, shaky breath. Her lips turned up into a smirk against my collarbone, my hands knotted the back of her over sized hoodie into my fists as she did so.
"I'm going to really miss this." Kendall whispered. "I'm going to really miss you."
I un-clenched my fists leaving creases in her hoodie as I moved my hands down to her hips. "I'm going to miss this too. Just being with you."
"You're not going to miss me?" She joked, a small laugh left my lips as I shook my head and kissed her jaw.
"I don't need to say I'm going to miss you." I replied. "Everybody knows that you've pretty much got me wrapped round your finger babe. Me saying I'll miss you means that you're not going to come back for a very long time and I'd rather think you're only going for a couple hours not weeks."
She was silent for a minute or two before her nails dug a millimeter or so more into biceps. "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, anything." I had just started to relax but then I tensed up again at the question. Kendall must have noticed because she trailed her hands down my arms and my fingers slotted perfectly into hers down at our sides. I took her silence to admire her. Not our surroundings but her.
The way she looks too thin beside me in sleeping shorts and the baggy hoodie. The way her hair falls perfectly down her back. The fact that she had kept the doodles I had drawn on her hand, my fingers covering the small lines and dots on her knuckles. The way that she always seemed to smell like apple all the time. The way that she held herself together.
Any other girl would have broken down by now, they would have tried too hard to brush the hate she gets off; they would try too hard to make the media love them. After all the shit she's been through, Kendall's stayed the same girl I met two years ago at school. The bubbly, funny and overly happy girl to be at school on a Monday morning.
"Why did you choose me?" She asked dragging me back into reality.
"Why did you choose me?" She repeated as I pulled away from her and propped myself up on my elbow so I'm looking down at her. She took her hands from mine and sat up, crossing her legs and started fiddling with her fingers.
She looked behind her shoulder at me, the green in her eyes had darkened a bit in sadness and worry as I laid there furrowing my eyebrows.
"Why did I choose you?" I asked. She nodded looking down at her hands again.
"Because for me there were no other options." I sat up too, on my knees behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist again. "Since the first day I met you, you were my girl. There was no other girl for me, you... you were it."
"Really?" She looked at me over her shoulder once again, my forehead fell against hers as I nodded. She closed her eyes as I took another deep breath and carried on.
"I told myself for a couple months that I was too young to feel so strongly about someone, then when Marie..." I nearly choked when I said her name. I haven't thought of her since I managed to patch up mine and Kendall's friendship and I didn't plan to. "When Marie came I thought she could be a distraction from you. She wasn't because everything she did reminded me how much better you could do it, everything she said to me about you I didn't believe because to me you were perfect. Then when we fought I pretty much died inside. My girl, that was you but I couldn't call you that because then Romeo came along and everyone started saying you were his."
"I was never his." She whispered.
"But I thought you were." I tightened my grip on her waist. "I thought that you didn't feel the same way and that Romeo was going to take you from me. I spent weeks trying to force my feelings away because it had a year! I was losing my mind and I was thirteen! Then when we got the movie deal I only took it because it meant spending everyday with you, seeing you so happy and I thought that that was all I would be getting. Now, though, I'm not intending to let you go now, I hope you know that baby."
"I know." She whispered turning round and hugging my neck once again. She sniffed and rested her cheek against my shoulder, her lips scraping against my neck as she spoke. "I'm not going to let you go either."
"So why did you choose me?" I asked making her laugh. I wiped her eyes gently, my eyes locked with hers.
"Because you're it for me too." She whispered. "You've always been it."
"Good." I whispered back realizing that I was tilting my head down towards her.
My lips came in contact with hers, a mix of her and her tears filled my mouth but the same too-good-to-be-true feeling exploded in my stomach. With one arm wrapped round her waist I reached behind her and moved forward, my chest up against hers while her back hit the mattress.
My hands slid down her sides and across her thighs until they reached the back of her legs where I hitched her up so she was level with me. Kendall's own hands tangled themselves in my hair again, tugging slightly at one point making me moan into her mouth. She started smiling and then she was laughing quietly making me smile against her cheek as well.
"Yeah," I smiled down at her. "I'm really going to miss this."