Chapter 45: I Just Want To Lie Here And Forget About Everything
We've been lying in this same position for god knows how long. I'm on my back, Zack's head on my stomach and his arm draped over his eyes. I can't tell if he's sleeping or not, his chest is covered with the duvet; hiding the rising and falling with every breath. This is what we've done for the past two years on the anniversary of his parents death, Zack curled up and hiding away from everyone else.
Simon was surprised when we were twelve and I was there with Zack. He told me that Zack didn't like people seeing him upset so for him to let me see him like this... well Simon didn't have any words really. I looked down at the tanned boy, his hair a lot lighter than it was before because of the sun bleaching it; his exposed skin looking a lot darker against the white sheets.
I think it's an instinct for him to instantly curl into a ball because when he woke up he shuffled round until we ended up in the position that we are in now.
The TV's on, both of our laptops on the edge of the bed and Zack's phone balancing on his duvet clad chest. Neither of us paying attention to them however. I ran my hand through Zack's hair, a soft groan coming from the back of his throat as I did so. The corners of his lips turned up and he uncovered his deep blue eyes.
"Are you okay?" I asked pushing some of his nearly golden hair from his forehead with my thumb.
"This is the first time I haven't been in London for their anniversary." Zack said turning his head towards me so his cheek was now lying against my stomach.
"I know." I replied.
"I can't visit them." He said.
"I know." I repeated, running my hand down to wipe the tears from his cheeks.
"I don't know what to do." Zack looked at me directly and his bottom lip trembled as a couple tears fell from his eyes.
"What do you want to do?" I asked.
"I just want to lie here and forget about everything." He said after a moment then looked at me worriedly. "Is that okay?"
I smiled at him and nodded. "You can do whatever you want to do Zack, it's completely okay."
"And you'll stay with me?" He whispered, shuffling so that we ended up with him on his back, my upper body laid across his chest and my legs where my body was before.
"Of course baby." I nestled my forehead into his neck, balling the front of his tee shirt up in my fists when he wrapped his arms round my waist and planted his cheek on top of my head.
"Thank you." He whispered quietly. I kissed the sharp edges of his collar and loosened the fabric of his tee shirt to lay my hands flat on his chest. His breathing rate went down again and before I knew it he was asleep, me going not long after him.