The heart monitor stops beeping. I turn and look at Willow. Her small chest isn't moving. Terror fills every inch of my body. Doctors rush into the small room with lifesaving equipment. They push me out of the way, saying nothing. I can only see them try to save my daughter’s life. A doctor walks up to me.
"Mr Mellark we are all extremely sorry but I am afraid that Willow has lost her battle with cancer" I sink onto my knees. Tears come pouring out of my eyes.
"NO" I scream.
"NO! THIS CAN'T BE POSSIBLE"
"Peeta, Wake up you're having a nightmare" Katniss' wrecked voice brings me back to reality.
"Peeta was your nightmare about Willow" She asks. I nod my head. I look at Katniss; her eyes are puffy and red from all the crying. I wouldn't like to see what my eyes look like. I have never cried that much. I don't want to lose Willow, I love her too much. I look over at Haymitch, who is asleep.
"I thought when Willow came into our life. There would be no more bad stuff. I thought that we could live happily as a family. Well, I guess my thoughts were wrong" I say. Katniss takes hold of my hand.
"So were mine" She says.
"Do you know when we will be able to see Willow" I ask.
"Nisha came half an hour ago and said that it will be around four to six hours before we can see her because they had to rush her to the surgery room and do lifesaving surgery." Katniss says.
"I feel so sorry for her. You know, they have better equipment in the Capitol. We could go there" I suggest. Normally I wouldn't suggest going to the Capitol, but right now I will do anything to save my daughter’s life.
"That's if the people here will let us transfer her" Katniss replies. I rest my chin on her head which is resting on my shoulder. I let the tears trickle down my face.
"I don't want to lose her" I sob.
"She isn't even one year old and look at what she is going through" Katniss says.
We sit there for what seems like a million years until Dr Nisha comes through the doors in front of us.
"Is it okay if we go to my office and have a chat" She asks. I look over at Haymitch who is now awake.
"It's okay, I'll stay here. I need to be alone" He says. Katniss and I stand up. I take hold of her hand and we follow Nisha to her office.
"Right now doctors are in theatre trying as hard as they can to remove the golf ball sized tumour that is on her brain. This surgery so far from what I have been told was going quite well. But they have now told me that they can’t remove the entire tumour and if they did it wouldn't be good for Willow as they wold also have to take away part of her brain, the part that s connected to her heart. After surgery Willow will be on the children’s ICU ward. We will be starting chemotherapy as soon as she has recovered from the surgery. The type of brain tumour she has got is rare and quite deadly so it will be best if she stays in the hospital so we can closely monitor her. You are welcome to visit her anytime you want but we don't have enough beds for you to stay overnight"
Katniss' grip on my hand gets tighter and tighter as Nisha is speaking. I rub the back of her hand with my thumb hoping it will calm her down. I don't think it will. There is also no point in telling her that it is okay, we don't have any control over it and of course it isn't okay.
"Is there a chance she will survive" Katniss trembles
"Well, I don't think the odds are in her favour. With how small she is, it will be a miracle if she survives. She has around a 40 percent chance of surviving at the moment. Now if you excuse me I need to pop out for a moment" Nisha stands and leaves the room.
"Oh God" Katniss cries.
"This is just horrible. So horrible"
"I know and I feel really bad that I can't do anything about it" I say.
Nisha comes back into the room, with the same doctor that took Willow away down the corridor.
"Mr and Mrs Mellark, I am so sorry about what you have been through and it is only the beginning. Willow's surgery is completed; unfortunately we couldn't get the entire tumour. Now if you please follow me. I will take you to the children’s ICU"
I help Katniss up and we walk silently to the children’s ICU.
"Your daughter is right at the end on the right side. I will give you five minutes then unfortunately you will have to go” The doctor says and walks off.
"You ready" I ask Katniss She nods her head. We push the doors open and walk to where the doctor said Willow would be.
"No" Katniss says as she clamps her hand over her mouth. I look in the direction she is looking in. All I can see is a cot with a small girl in. The small girl has wires coming out and going into her small body. That small girl is Willow. Mine and Katniss daughter.
Katniss and I walk over to the cot she is sleeping in. Well she isn't asleep. Her beautiful blue eyes lock on us. She looks terrified. Not knowing what’s going on. I feel as if I am about to cry but I keep the tears back, for Willow. I don't want her to be scared any more than she already is. She must be terrified.
She has one wire going into her nose, and a couple going into her arms. She has a small circular pad with a wire attached stuck over where her heart is meant to be.
"Hello Princess" I take hold of one of her small hands. Katniss strokes her cheek.
"Mommy and daddy both love you so much" She says.
"No matter what happens to you, we will always love you. You just be a big, brave, strong girl and keep fighting"
This is so horrible to watch your daughter go through and the only thing you can do is watch and support them. I relate it to the games, as this is our goodbye time before we watch our daughter fight for her life. I vowed that I would never let my children go into the games, and I broke that vow. We have no control over who wins this battle and I feel so angry with myself.
Soon enough five minutes is up and we have to go. I kiss willow's small hand and so does Katniss.
"See you later princess, do you want us to bring Mr rabbit" I say. Mr rabbit is a pink cuddly rabbit that Effie gave Willow when she was born. As soon as I say his name, Willow looks at me with her bright blue eyes and I know that that is a yes.
Walking home Katniss is silent. The streets are empty and dark the old air nipping at my face but it doesn't bother me. All I Can think of is my Innocent daughter inside the hospital fighting for her life.
When we get in Katniss goes upstairs and I go into my painting studio. I need some time alone.
I get out a new canvas and begin to paint. I don't know what I am painting exactly but I just let my hand go all over the canvas with different colours, blue, green, pink and yellow.
"Peeta" I hear Katniss say, her voice doesn't sound like her own. It sounds wrecked with pain. I look up.
"Can I see" She asks. I step back, motioning for her to come in.
"It's beautiful" Katniss sobs. Then I realize what I have painted. I painted me, Katniss and Willow this morning sitting on the grass.
"I can't bear the thought of losing her" Katniss sobs. I pull her in towards me.
"Neither can I." I say. I kiss her forehead lightly.
"I don't want to lose both of you, you are the only real family I have left. I love you both too much" I say.