I stand looking at the beautiful picture Peeta has just painted. Oh how it hurts me so much that Willow isn't in my arms.
I look at all the paintings Peeta has in his studio. Most of them are either from both games or from when he was being tortured and hijacked in the Capitol. Others are of Me, Peeta and Willow or of me and Prim. I need to tell my mother, I don't want to tell every single person I know at the moment but I need to tell my mother.
"Peeta, I'm going to go and call my mother. She needs to know" I say. My voice shakes with each word. Peeta just nods. I have never seen Peeta like this before. He is surely mentally broken inside.
I walk over to the phone which is just outside Peeta's painting studio. I pick it up and begin to dial my mom’s number. My hands are shaking as I press each number.
"Oh Katniss darling I would love to speak but I have to go for my shift at the hospital" She says. Peeta walks up to me. I put the phone on speaker.
"Mom, Peeta and I have to speak to you. It's important, but first I think you need to sit down"
"Okay, I'm sat down"
I take a deep breath and begin.
"Mom Willow's sick. Very sick" I tremble.
"Oh no. Do you know what she is sick with?"
"C..c..c..can..can..cancer" I Cry. She gasps.
"No. I am so sorry Katniss. Do you think it would be best if I came up and stayed for a while?" She asks. I look at Peeta, he nods his head.
"Please, if you don't mind"
"I will be there tomorrow."
"Bye Katniss" I place the phone back onto the wall.
"Are you going to the bakery tomorrow" I ask Peeta.
"I don't know, I haven't been in for three days but if I do go in it just won’t feel right” Peeta doesn't look up, he concentrates on the floor.
"I know when Prim got killed mom buried her grief in her work" I say.
"I'm not going into the bakery tomorrow. I will phone Sam and tell him that I won't be going in. Only because I want to be with Willow. Every single day she has left, I want to be with her." Peeta says. A tear rolls down my cheek.
"I can't believe this is happening" I cry. Peeta looks at me, his eyes full of pain and misery.
"Neither can I" He says. He walks up to me and wraps his arms around me. We stand like this in silence not exchanging any words.
"You need to rest" Peeta says.
"I'm not tiered, anyway I won't be able to get to sleep" I protest.
"Katniss, you're lying. Please just try" He begs. Reluctantly I make my way up the stairs and into mine and Peeta’s room. I take my jeans and t-shirt off and slide into a cotton night gown. I climb into bed. It is hard to think about Willow without bursting into tears.
I think of Peeta at the hospital, how he cried. How broken he sounds when he speaks. How broken he looks. I suddenly get a pang of guilt, Peeta has comforted me throughout today but I haven't comforted him as such. Right now is when we need each other the most.
I am too lost in my own thoughts I don't realize that Peeta has climbed into bed. I roll over and face him. I run my hand through his soft blonde curls.
"It's okay to cry in front of me Peeta. You don't have to be strong for me." I whisper. Peeta runs his hand through my hair.
"And it's okay for you to cry in front of me Katniss. Sometimes we have just got to let it all out." He whispers. He put his hand on the back of my head and pus me into him. I rest my head on his chest and cry. Peeta cries too.
When we are finished crying I look into Peeta's eyes, lean up and press my lips onto his. We fall asleep wrapped around each other.
"Mommy is so proud of you. You are being such a big brave girl" I say as I hold Willow's hand in the ICU.
"Well Miss Everdeen, we meet again" I hear somebody say. I look up to see Snow standing on the other side of the cot. He is holding a White rose.
"It's Mrs Mellark" I say.
"Oh, yeah so it is" He hands the white rose to Willow.
"It would be such a shame if somebody was to turn off the life support..." He says.
"No..." I say. Willow looks at me, terror fills her eyes.
"...I know Mrs Mellark, it would be such a shame to waste a young life" He chuckles and he turns off the life support.
I wake up breathing heavily.
"NO" I shout.
"GET AWAY FROM HER" I scream.
"Katniss, shh. You are having a nightmare" Peeta says as he pulls me into a hug. I pull away after a minute.
"I...I need to be alone" I say. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and begin to walk. I don't know where I am going until I open the door. Willow's room.
A few tears roll down. Her room is filled with teddies. All shapes and colours. On the walls are paintings Peeta did for her, butterflies and flowers. Her room describes her personality, playful, happy, cheerful and loving. I wonder over to her cot. Mr Rabbit is sat on her pillow he looks so lonely. Willow usually never sleeps without him. I wonder over to her dresser and pick up the family album that is sitting on it I sit on the rocking chair and begin to look through. Every single picture Willow is on she is smiling.
"Katniss" I look up, Peeta is standing in the doorway. I can see from over here that he has bags under his eyes and that they are red and puffy. He has been crying, but I don't want to point it out.
"Did you get any sleep" I ask him. He shakes his head.
"No, Not Really" He says. He walks up to me and looks at the photo that I am looking at in the album. It is a picture of Willow sitting in a box on her first Christmas. Her cheeky smile is spread from one ear to another.
"She was so cheerful that day, I mean she is cheerful everyday but that day she was so cheerful" Peeta says.
"Hmm, I am going to miss her cheeky smile" I Say. Peeta puts his arm around my shoulders.
"Why don't we get something to eat and then we can go and visit Willow" Peeta says.
"I'm not hungry" I say.
"Katniss, I know you don't feel like eating but you need to at least get something to eat" Peeta says.
"No Peeta, I'm not hungry"
"Just please come downstairs, I think your mother is going to be here soon" He says. I look at him confused.
"But, it takes at least a day to get from district four to district twelve" I say.
"She called after you went upstairs and said that she had booked the extra fast train and that she would be here at around seven in the morning" Peeta explains.
"Okay" I sigh. I stand up and place the photo album onto the rocking chair. I take hold of Peeta's hand as we walk downstairs.
When we walk into the kitchen my mom is already sitting at the table. As soon as she sees us she gets up out of the chair and embraces me in a hug.
"Oh Katniss, I am so sorry. This must be so horrible for you both" She says before she pulls away and embraces Peeta into a quick hug. After she pulls away we all sit down at the mahogany table. I begin to tell my mother everything the doctors told us. I try to do it without breaking down.
"..They said that she ...that she...that she had a...a...a-" I couldn't finish. I started to cry. Peeta finishes it off for me.
"They said that she has a forty percent chance of surviving but they said if she does survive it would be a miracle because of how small she is." I spot a few tears roll down his cheek. My mom takes hold of both of mine and Peeta's hands.
"I know Willow can make it through, she is a fighter just like her mother. You just need to have hope" She says.
"We just can't bear the thought of losing her. We have already lost people who we love dearly and Willow is the joy of our world" I say. Two more tears trickle down my face.