Peeta's screaming is the thing that wakes me up halfway through the night. I look over at him; he is breathing rapidly and is mumbling things which I can't hear. He must be having a horrible nightmare. I place my hand on his shoulder,
"Peeta, Peeta. Wake up you are having a nightmare" I say shaking him.
"Don't hurt Katniss" He mumbles.
"Peeta, I am right here. I am okay. You are having a nightmare" I say shaking him again but a little bit harder this time.
He jerks awake panting; his eyes are focused on the door opposite the end of the bed. It is like he is expecting somebody to walk in right at this moment.
"Peeta it's okay, you're safe. Whatever your nightmare was about isn't real" I say. He turns and looks at me. His breathing is slowing down.
"Oh God Katniss, you're okay" He says embracing me into a hug.
"Is Willow safe" He asks.
"Yes, she is at the hospital with mother" I say trying to calm him down. He rests his chin on my head and begins to cry.
"That is one of the worst nightmares I've had in ages. I mean they are all bad but that one is way above the others" He says after a while.
"Peeta, what was your nightmare about? Sometimes talking about stuff that scares us can help us" I say.
Peeta begins to tell me about his horrifying nightmare. How he gets tortured by the Capitol and then has to watch Snow kill both me and Willow. He then goes on about waking up and me not being in the bed and Willow not being in her cot. He tells me about the note with the first few lines of 'The Hanging Tree.’ And finally he tells me about finding me and Willow, hung from the willow tree in the meadow.
"All my nightmares are always about losing you and Willow. They terrify me because you are all I have left. I love you both too much to lose you" He cries.
I don't know how to say it but that is exactly what my nightmares are like now; I always somehow lose Peeta, Willow or even both of them in a super horrible situation. You know how they say all dreams can come true? Nightmares are dreams too. And that really does terrify me because I can't bear to lose Peeta or Willow. It will already be hell if the cancer kills Willow, I won't be able to cope and I still remember how bad I was after Prim got killed. If I lost Willow, I know I will be worse. And if I lost Peeta as well, I will probably end up dying myself because Peeta makes life a lot more bearable and I don't know how I will live without him.
"Katniss" He whispers.
"Hmm" I reply. He puts his hand under my chin and tilts my head up slowly so we are looking into each other’s eyes.
"Please don't ever leave me." He says. His eyes are full of pain and fear.
"I won't ever leave you" I say.
"Never" I add on.
"Promise" He asks.
"Promise" I reassure him.
Peeta lies down and pulls me in towards him. He puts his arms around me and cuddles me like I am a giant teddy bear. I rest my head on his chest.
"I love you" He whispers.
"I love you more" I reply.
"You will never know how much I love you; my love for you goes beyond infinity" He whispers as he kisses my head.
"As does mine" I reply. Peeta continues to stroke my cheek until I fall into an uneventful sleep.
* * *
When I awake again, Peeta is asleep. I decide to not wake him. I give him a quick kiss, grab my robe and head downstairs. If anybody else is awake at this time in the morning it will be Effie. I am in shock when I enter the dining room. Not only Effie and Haymitch are sat in there but so are my mother and Gale. My mom either is just going to the hospital or just finished her shift and going home as she is in her uniform.
"It must be so horrible to lose a child" Gale says.
"It is. It is the worst thing in the world. No parent should go through it" My mother whispers. I know she is thinking of Prim. When I think of Prim, I want to cry. I miss her so much. I begin to walk towards the table.
"Morning Katniss" Effie says but not in her cheery sort of way.
"You have some visitors" She adds on looking over at mother and Gale. Gale gets up out of his chair, walks over to me and greets me with a hug.
"I am so sorry to hear about Willow, it must be horrible for both you and Peeta" He whispers.
"It is, it truly is" I reply.
"Just don't forget, we will always be here for you" He says.
"Thank you" I reply. I take a seat next to my mother. I don't even need to ask her, she just says it.
"She's doing okay" She says softly.
"Thank you" I reply.
"Is Peeta okay? I heard him screaming last night" Effie asks concerned.
"Not really. He had a terrible nightmare" I say.
"Have they gotten worse for you both since...?” My mother trails of, I know she meant since Willow got sick.
"Yeah" I say quietly. My mom puts her arm around my shoulders.
"Like Gale said, we are all here for you and Peeta. I know this is a tough and heart-breaking situation for you both. If you need us, we are only just a phone call away. Not even that" She says. She looks up at the clock.
"I have to get going. Don't worry Katniss, she will be okay" She says standing up. I stand up and give her a hug.
"Please give her a kiss from both me and Peeta and tell her that we love her so much" I say.
"Of course I will Katniss. See you later, love you" She says as she grabs her coat of the back of the chair.
"I will show you to the door Sarah" Effie says as she also gets up out of her chair.
"Thank you Effie. Bye Katniss" Mom says as she follows Effie out of the room.
"So how come you are in the Capitol then" I ask Gale.
"Work" He says blankly.
"I saw your mother last night as she was leaving the hospital. She brought the news up" He adds on.
"It is such a horrible thing to watch your child go through, especially when they aren't even one yet" I say.
* * *
Gale soon leaves for work, realizing he is half an hour late. When Peeta finally woke up, he says that he would like to take me somewhere, so right now he is leading me through the streets of the Capitol to this secret place. When we get there he puts his hands over my eyes and leads me into the building. When he uncovers them it is like we aren't in the Capitol anymore because the Interior is just like the interior we would use in district twelve. There are millions of shelves filled with hundreds, no, thousands of books.
"People used to call it a library." Peeta says as he leads me over to a set of shelves filled with books. He picks up a book of the shelf and hands it to me. I have never had time to read stories, when I had time to spare I was off in the woods to feed my family. But sometime I used to sit by the fire with Prim as we told each other stories.
"Books are amazing if you feel like you can't cope with life anymore all you have o do is open a book and you will be sucked into a different world for the time you are reading." Peeta says. I look at the title on the book, The Good Witches Garden. I read the back of the book and when I’m finished all I want to do is sit down, open it and begin to read it. Peeta pulls me into a hug,
"I can see something on Katniss' face that says she would like to read it" He says.
“Can you now” I an eyebrow with a slight smile.
Even though part of me knows that she will survive it, another part of me is less sure and I can't stop thinking about my daughter. Willow.