Cate blames herself for the real Cate’s death. She switched their identities as the real Cate suggested on the papers she left. Now, she is living a different world where the new people she met on Cate's journal lives. The people that know and love the real her. The journal opens Cate’s eyes to the hurtful reality and slowly, she withdraws to the borrowed life and accidentally with Aiden’s journal where the unsaid and written words of love for her is compiled. She begins to understand what the real Cate wants to tell her, AIDEN IS THE REAL GUY FOR HER.


3. Chapter 3


Kit’s here. I should be happy. My baby is here and all I want is to fall on my ground and cry blood.

I can’t take long to look at it, it is killing me inside but Aiden thinks it should cheer me up.

 I take a long silent breath. I can do this.

I face Aiden with twinkling eyes and a huge smile. I hug him and when I pull away from him, I see him smile. I never realize until now that he has deep dimples which makes him more handsome. His grey eyes searches mine and I drift my eyes to Kit and run to him. He should not look me in the eyes. It is to intimate and he might see my secret. I do not want him to know, not now and not in ever.

I hug Kit like I am supposed to do when I see him not throw a disgusting look like this huge bear is a shit.

“I’m jealous. You hug him more than I am”

I look at him. He is smiling. His arms fold and he is leaning on the door. I take my phone and raises it at him and he understands it.

My arms are around Kit’s neck as I punch my text to Aiden.

“I’m sorry gentleman, but Kit looks more huggable than you”

I look up at him and his smile widens. OH goodness. He might think I am flirting.

His phone on his both hands, he is smirking while typing and then my phone chirps. I look at my phone to him. He winks and walk to his kitchen.

“Just to remind you hon, I’m more kissable than him. Want a drink?”

More kissable than Walt?

When was the last time I kissed a guy? Was it 33 days ago? Do I still know how to kiss? What about Walt? When was the last time he shared a kiss with a girl? Maybe she was the last kiss he had? Would he consider kissing someone after her? Would he try to love again?

Walt. Walt. Walt. Leave me be, please. Leave my head and heart. It is not that hard, right?

He is right in front of me when I am about to tell him I’m fine with water. I’m too occupied with Walt in my head that I haven’t noticed Aiden’s presence back in the living room.

Aiden. When was the last time this guy kiss a girl? Was it me or another girl?

 He offers me a glass of juice and I gulp my anxiety with the smell. I don’t drink juice. I hate juice. And I still take it from him and suffer from the bile smell of it. I wipe my cold sweat on my forehead.

 It is not that bad to try it. I put the glass to my mouth. He is watching me drink it. I finish my glass without knowing it. I drop the glass on the floor feeling the bile rising up my throat. It is not bad to try to run to his bathroom and throw up but I do not want to. I gulp it with all my mighty. I hide my face behind Kit. Oh goodness.

“Are you okay?”

I shake my head frantically.

“Water. Right. I’ll just get a glass.”

Oh god. What the hell is wrong with me trying to drink a juice?

“Oh goodness Cate. What is wrong? I did not poison you, did I? Oh goodness. Water.”

My hand is shaking reaching for the glass of water from him. I drink it with a hurry.

Maybe he is wondering what is happening to me now after drinking the glass of juice. Maybe he is wondering why I can’t take the taste of a juice.

I take my phone and punch a message to him.

“I’m okay.”

He looks at me and sigh in relief.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack! You scared the hell out of me!”

What do I tell him? Should I tell him I hate juice now since the girl who always make my juice is dead? Should I tell him how I hate the sight and smell of juice now? And is that even a reasonable excuse after my near to death moment? I think it is not.

I punch a message again to him.

“I’m sorry about that. Remind me next time that I hate juice. Especially Orange Juice.”

He just stare at me after reading my message and he smiles and mouthed ‘okay’.

“You need rest, you should go to your bed now.”

He doesn’t want to sleep with me? That makes the two of us. Well, I’m not ready to share a bed with him either.

I sigh. I am hugging Kit from the back as I follow where Aiden is leading me.

“Your room misses you.” He gives a small smile as he opens the door.

Almost a month that I hadn’t been here. I stayed at home with my parents trying to cope up with my life after the accident. I spent my days locked up in my room and cry for her death. I spent my days in my room acquainted by his voice mails to me. I spent my days exchanging texts with Aiden.  I spent my days with thinking on how should I face the planet of living. And this is where I choose to be after thinking for days. I chose to be with Aiden where no one will bother me, where no will care for me. No, someone cares for me, it is Aiden. He is the only one now.

I enter the room and the bed steals my eyes and breaks my heart. My favourite beddings are here. We bought this together.

I look at Aiden who is standing by the door looking at me silently.

“Don’t worry about spiders. The beddings are newly changed.”

Newly changed.

So the beddings had been hiding from me?

I walk to my bed and sit.

“I’ll leave you now so you can get a shower first. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

I nod.

“Goodnight, Cate” And he left me alone in my new room.

“Goodnight, Aiden.”

I close my eyes and breathe in the smell of my room. It is different from my room at home, very different.  My hand runs to the pillows and I bear the heartache after heartache of the memories with pillows. A tear rolls off my eyes and the knock on my door made me jump.

 I wipe the tear off my face and practice a smile. I could not shout for him to come in so I open the door for him.

“Your medicine” He raises a glass of water and my med box.

I forgot, I am under medication.

He walks past me and put it down on my nightstand. I signed him my thanks and he is smiling walking to me.

“Goodnight” He signs and he steps out my room. His back is to me now, and walking to his room. I stride a step and I get a hold of his arm. “Goodnight, Aiden” I sign and I lock my room.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

My eyes land on the box of med I have to take and I smile. I have a kind boyfriend. Aiden is my boyfriend. Aiden is kind. And he deserves that one kiss on the lips from his girlfriend. And I remind myself that I am his girlfriend. 

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