Brain dead.

Hey, I'm Joe and I'm a zombie.


1. Hey there.

Hey there, My names Joseph or Joe for short, I'm 17 years old and I live in the small town of Grent. A very important thing you should probably know about me is that I'm not living. When I say that I'm not living I don't mean I have a boring life or that I'm suffering from depression or some other mental illness, although both of those things would be better than what I actually mean. I mean I'm dead. Yes that's right, I'm a zombie. I wish I could continue this by saying "and I'm proud of it" but then I would be lying. I'm not proud of being a zombie and I probably never will be. I'd much rather be a normal living, breathing human being.

Yes, my skin occasionally rots away but I have cream and medication for that so it's not too bad. I don't eat human brains although some zombies "my type" do. I usually eat things like whole rats, mice and occasionally the odd cat or two. I wasn't born a zombie I mean it probably would've been easier that way but I wasn't. I was born a "normal" human boy and I lived in a small town in America and I loved it.

It was two years ago I became a zombie. I was 17. If you're smart you would've figured out that that's the same age I am now. Yep, that's right once you turn into a zombie you stop ageing. You're probably wondering how I became a zombie. It's nothing exciting, I didn't get bit or anything like that. Nope, I ate a piece of food that a zombie had already started eating. Mind you I didn't know a zombie had been eating it. So being a zombie is like a contagious disease. You pretty much become a zombie if you touch anything a zombie touches.

Another thing is once you become a zombie you don't just stay where you are although if you are adventurous enough you can find your way back to where you started out. When you become a zombie you get taken to where the zombie is that you caught the "disease" from and from there you can choose where you want to go.

Zombies obviously don't live with the humans. Nope, zombies live underneath them. That sounds strange but when I say that I mean there a whole other world underground where all the zombies live and you're probably wondering how any humans touch anything a zombie touches or whatever well all the zombie trash goes exactly where the human trash is. All the zombie trash goes up huge pipes and end up in dumpers somewhere in the human world. You're probably wondering how the food I are that turned me into a zombie was touched by a zombie. I fished food out of the trash, yes i are food out of the god damn trash. Anyway that's a story for another day.

Now just incase you've forgotten I'm going to summarise all that. My name is Joe, I'm 17 years old and I live in a city that's underneath the city you probably live in and I'm a zombie. I bet you and I are going to get along just fine.

*author note*

Hey guys! It's Emily here. I don't expect you guys to like this. Haha. It's just a little Monday afternoon muck around but I would like to hear all opinions on it and if you enjoy it please let me know and I will defiantly consider continuing!

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