Dear Indication

"I feel so greatly insignificant," I tell her, tears forming in my eyes. She just shrugs. "I know you do, Scarlett." She pauses, her eyes telling me the story of how she fell in and out of love, and seeing all the scars left on her soul, that she did - and still doesn't - deserve. This is the thoughts of an insignificant, non-mattering teenage girl, who's life is a mess right now. It's a story about wanting to find love, despite seeing it fall apart right in front of you. It's my story.

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4. 18:40 | Thursday | 12th of February 2015

You never thought I was good enough. You never said it, but the way your face stopped lighting up whenever I would bring up writing or theater just proved all of my theories. 

Father, let me ask you something. Do you think I should be more like my sister? Well I know you do. 

But do you want me to be depressed in such a way, that I see no point in having happy days? Do you want me to be so scared of people leaving me, that I won't be able to function properly? Do you want me to be indecisive and not know what I want to do with my miserable life? 

Do you? Because it sure seams like it every time you compare me to her. Of course you never see the bad things about her. To you, she is perfect, and I'm the one who needs to live up to those standards and study chemistry instead of philosophy. 

But you know what? Fuck your chemistry, fuck your perfect daughter and most of all fuck your standards and your expectations, because I will never be like her, even if my life depended on it. 

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