My eyes fluttered shut as Niall's hand ran across my body while the steam from the shower took my breath away. His fingers grazed over my cheek and suddenly I became full of fear. He's my roommate for the next seven months and we've already had sex, this is serious.
I grabbed a towel and ran out of the shower, slipping on my clothes as fast as I could and running out the door. Anxiety ran threw my body as I locked myself in a closet downstairs and tried to catch my breath. I sat down on the floor and started to think what the hell I was going to do, this is going to cause some serious awkwardness and I don't do awkward.
I was no stranger to anxiety, but it's never been this bad over a situation this serious. I flung myself out of the closet and just stayed there on my hands and knees while I cooled my burning lungs with fresh air.
I finally got up and walked around the hotel. I stopped by a back door and looked outside threw the window. Pushing the door opened, I breathed in. "Oh my god." I whispered as I felt the rain splash against my burning skin, soaking me peace. I loved the rain, I always lost myself in it.
"Braelynn" I jumped, hand on my chest as my head shot back at the voice that's calling my name. "It's raining like cats and dogs out here! What are you doing?" His blonde hair was dark brown due to the wet and he approached me.
"I love the rain." I said with a smile and looked up at the crying sky. "It's like, every time I need to cry. Mother Nature does it for me so I don't have to humiliate myself with red eyes and a puffy face." I half laughed.
"You wanna cry?" He asked and got closer.
"Niall, I don't think us being roommates is going to work." I said looking at him, his face shifted.
"The only other person you're going to be roomed with is harry, have fun." He scuffed. I thought for a moment, he's right. "Come here please." He said and opened his arms, as much as I know I shouldn't, I couldn't help it. I looked around and when j seen no body I ran to him, everything felt so... Okay, whenever I touched him. "Let's go in and go to bed." He whispered into my hair. I nodded my head and followed him back into the hotel.
I dried myself off and got into my pajamas. The blankets molded into me and I sighed of relief whenever my head hit the pillow. I was almost asleep whenever I heard Niall sniff, not a cold kind of sniff, a crying mind of sniff. "Niall?" I said and sat up. He pushed himself into the mattress more, he was in his bed and I was in mine, but I could see him shift and stop breathing.
I got up and sat down beside him. His back was faced to me but I could see half his face. I moved the blankets gently and stood up on the bed, moving over to where his face was. "Niall..." I whispered and moved him. "What's wrong?" I asked, it hurt me to see him like this. I grabbed his arms and pulled him up into my lap, he obliged and hugged my waist, crying into my stomach.
"It happens every time!" He almost screamed.
"This! I always start to like a girl and then she leaves me! What's wrong with me?! Why can't I have someone just like me for me and stay with me! They always leave and go tell their friends!" I've never seen a man cry so hard in my life. Watching it was one feeling but listening to it is a totally different feeling.
"Who left you? Did you have a girlfriend?" I asked, my cheeks heated with anger. He had sex with me while having a girlfriend? That's not fair to her!
"No!" He sat up and looked at me, "you." He said in a whispered and wiped his eyes. I raised an eyebrow at him, totally not understanding. "I like you and you tried to leave.." He bowed his head and I could see the tears fall out of his eyes.
"Niall" I said softly and crawled over to him, touching his face. His baby blues eyes starred back at me and when I seen his eyes drowning, I felt he himself was also drowning. "I'm not going anywhere." I choked. "I ran because I needed to think what I was going to do, I don't think anything can happen between us." I said in a soft tone and touched his cheek.
"But why?" His features are mimicking a little boy that really wants that big pirate ship at the store and his mom said no. "Why can't we?" He asks when I don't answer.
I sighed and swallowed, thinking how to word it. "We're on tour together... You're like super fucking famous and your fans are crazy. If they ever found out that I'm with you, even just staying in the same room as you, they'd have my ass chewed up and spit out. I don't think you understand how bad your fans can get."
"Oh I do."he said with a long sigh and he looked down. "They're the reason why I can't keep anyone."
"I believe Ya." I sighed and rubbed my face. "I'll be her for the next like year, I'm not going anywhere." I kissed my fingers and placed it over top his heart. "My mom use to do it whenever I was kid, it was kind of like our pinky promise." I explained whenever he looked at me confused. He nodded his head.
"Can we at least be a little secret?" He asked whenever he stopped crying.
"I'm not usually one for secrets, but yes." I laughed and he hugged me, pulling me down to the bed with him.
"Stay here tonight, go in your bed in the morning." I said into my hair but I refused. The boys are obsessed with playing pranks, there's way to know if and when they'd come in here. And if they ever saw us like this, holy shit. "Okay, I understand." He said and kissed my forehead, I got up and tucked him in.
I laid awake for hours though, this whole not sleeping thing is really getting annoying. But I have another concert tomorrow so I need sleep, even if I have to force myself. I put my hand over my eyes as I turned around and tried to sleep.
I've been awake since yesterday, I'm going almost 12 hours with no sleep and in this business, sleep is your best friend. My vision was a tad fuzzy whenever I was rehearsing for our show tonight and my stomach felt sick. I stopped and turned around to the band, cutting the music with hand motions toward my neck.
I got off the stage and went out back, "what's wrong?" Someone asked me but I pushed past them and went into the changing room. I didn't know that the boys would be in there whenever I walked in and had my mouth covered and my other over my stomach. "Hi." I muttered and turned to the garbage can just outside the door and puked. "Holy fuck." I said whenever my ribs felt like they were breaking.
"Are you okay?" Niall's voice swam through my head and I looked up, half smiling before burying my head back in the garbage can and hurling even more. His hand went to my back and he rubbed it for me. I came up and slid against the wall into a sitting position, he sat beside me and then I seen louis and Zayn come out of the room.
"What's wrong?" Zayn asked as he sat beside me.
"Not sleeping." I shrugged.
"We all know what that's like." Louis said and sat down, we were all in a circle. "Whatever you do don't take sleeping meds, those do so much more than just put you to sleep." He sighed.
"I would never resort to drugs to solve my problems, I've seen how that works out." I said in a half-awkward-laugh. I rubbed my face and stood back up, almost tripping over my feet only to have Niall catch me. "I need to get back." I said and walked away from them.
This is going to be a hard show... But I can't disappoint anyone so the show must go on.
It was the boys turn to rehearse for the show and I went out back to the dressing room and drank orange juice and slept. I heard the dressing room door open and someone starting to rummage around. I opened my eyes and seen harry walking around the room, grabbing at his curls with a frustrated look on his face. "Are you okay?" I asked. I had startled him because he turned around and looked surprised. "Sorry.." I said and shrunk back into the little sofa I was laying on.
He didn't say anything, he just gave me a dirty look. And when he finally said something, I had wished he shut the fuck up. "Did you fuck Niall?" He seethed, standing over top of me and leaning into me while I was on the couch.
"No?" I said and pushed him away. He grabbed my wrist, I looked between him and his hand gripped around me. "What the fuck is your issue?" I asked and tried to get away from him.
"You fucked him. Admit it." He spat in my face.
"Even if I did what the hell does it matter to you?" I said back with just the same amount of venom he had towards me. "Harry you're actually hurting me. Please stop." I tried to wiggle my way out of his grip but it only made it worse, I can actually see his muscles contracting in his forearms. Tears became clear in my eyes as I looked at his dark green ones, what is wrong with this person? "Are you even fucking human!" I shouted at him and pushed him away from me. I ran out the door and ran down the hall to the nearest bathroom.
I heard him calling my name but I locked the bathroom door and hid in the stall until I couldn't hear anything anymore. I leaned my head back against the door, coming here was such a bad idea. Good thing they picked me because if it was anyone else they would've ran to the media with this. I looked down at my wrist, "Holy fuck." I muttered whenever I seen the slight bruise on it already forming.
I could hear the screams of all the fans already outside the arena and I smiled. They made me so happy, everything they did made me happy [ other than all the hate they do ] but they were human, we get jealous and protective. I stood up whenever I heard the warning bell for costumes. I walked up to Lou's dressing room and knocked, "Can I come in?" I asked.
The door opened, " Hello love, how's it going?" She smiled at me, opening the door for me to come in. "What am I going to do with your hair today." She said with her finger on her chin and playing with my messy waves. "Are you not feeling good, hun?" She asked and I shook my head.
"But that doesn't mean I need to look how I feel, so let;s make sure no one can tell I'm sick." I laughed and then started coughing.
"This job gets really stressful, I know. But it's worth it in some ways." She winked at me.
As she played around with my hair I started thinking that maybe she could give me some advice. "Can I ask something?" She nodded her head, "Is Harry always mean?" She looked at me. "He hasn't liked me since the day he met me and I don't know why because I didn't do anything to him to make him hate me? But he seems to think I'm like the devil or something?" I said and she laughed.
"He probably has a crush on you." She smiled at me. The thought of Harry having a crush on me made me shiver. "He's not that bad." Lou cried out whenever I made a disgusted face.
"He is when he's being a toolbag!" I said and we both fell into a fit of laughter. I picked Lux up when she came running into the room, she laughed at the faces I was making and then started to cuddle. "She's beautiful." I said and Lou agreed, nodding her head. "I need more advice, Lou." I said, wondering if I should even tell her about Niall.
"What do you do whenever you and someone you...work with? Like each other?" I asked and she stopped curling my hair, looking at me threw the mirror.
"You like one of the boys?" She asked with her eyes squinted and an amusing look on her face. "Which?"
"I didn't say it was one of the boys!"
"Who did you sleep with?" She said in a teasing tone and I laughed awkwardly with her. "I'm just kidding, but if it is one of the boys just be careful. They like to play around,I mean I love the boys to death but I don't agree with how they treat women sometimes. They like to take advantage of their status sometimes, reason why Zayn and Perrie had a few problems." She explained, I nodded my head. "Also, don't think that you can change them. Like don't try to make them love you, or even like you just because you think you change them into committed men."
"They're not all like that. Louis' been with his girlfriend for years now, same with Liam." I kind of defended them.
"Yeah, but I mean the single ones. Harry and Niall? Yeah those boys like to play around sometimes, only because something always happens to Niall whenever he opens up or tries to have a relationship with someone. But Harry only does it whenever they come to him, he doesn;t go around looking out for trouble. Typical boy though, who wouldn't react to some beautiful young girl throwing herself at someone." She shrugged, "Just be careful." She whispered and then started with my makeup.
HEY YOU GUYS! lol i went to a party last night and got so drunk that I can barely move my body! but heres an update, love you all ♥