1 month has passed and its almost time to give him up. I don't know how I am going to do it. He is a piece of me, that I will never ever give up. But at last, I have to. And I really don't want to. But its the best thing for him to do as of right now. I can afford him yes, but if the Reform school has gotten to him, I wouldn't want to live anymore. But since he will be placed in orphanage, I will give him a choice. Either he can come back and meet me and the rest of him family, or he can have the happy life he lives. Anyways before I cry here, I have seen his first crawls, and I heard him say his first word which was One Direction. I video taped the whole thing and I got him to say "Dada Horan" and "Uncle Curly" which Harry would love to see. Well maybe, if he is not still mad at me. God I hope not... Anyway, one more month until I give my baby up.
*Another month passes by*
Its now time, time to give him up. I packed him clothes, and clothes for the next 5 years of his life. I wrote a letter to his future self. It read:
I know you've been thinking about this moment your whole life. Like who I am, am I nice? or does she love me? Yes, I know. I had to get rid of you because of your uncle. He was mad at me and daddy for having you. But I promise, he loves you. I love you and your father loves you. I love you and always have and always will. I promise you, I promise that one day I will come back to you. Or if I don't come back, come find me. You will be pissed at me for changing your last name for now, or for not telling you who you are but, you are James Lucas Horan. Christa Styles and Niall Horans first born son. Yes I am Christa Styles or Horan from whatever my last name is by that time, and your father is Niall Horan. Baby, promise me you wont be mad at me. I did this for your safety, and because your life was in risk, I promise you. I miss you and love you,
Your Mummy and Daddy
I also had put a picture in it. I put him in a wooden baby carriage, and taped the envelope. I kissed him and took one last picture of him to show Niall. I got in a black dress, with black vans, I curled my hair and off I went.(http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=146226063)
"P-p-paul I-I-its t-t-time" I stuttered about to cry
"Its okay Christa, I will grab Jay and I will take him to the orphanage." He said
"Thanks Paul, I can always, count on you" I said
With that he hung up. Before I knew it he was here. He took my baby, and drove off. I sat here for like an hour crying. I kept on crying and crying till I decided its time to go home. I called for a taxi to take me to the Airport because I want/need to go home. I am sure my brother misses me, and I am sue Nialls worried.
*Arriving at the House*
I arrived infront of my house, and boy I missed this beauty. It's been so long, since I have been home. I unlocked the door, to see that all my family was on the couch looking at photo albums and crying.
"Look at her, she was only 9 and was that beautiful" Harry said
"My sweet little sister what made you leave" Meli yelled/cried
I walked behind them and decided to go along with it.
"Yeah what happened to me" I said as I faked cried
I got tackled by Zayn,Louis,Meli,Harry,Niall,Luke,Mikey,Calum,Ashton,Leigh-Anne,Perrie,Jade, and Jesy. I missed them so much. They were all my older siblings. Then out of the blue, I heard my 1 year old niece call my name.
"Aunt Chwissy?" Louise called
"Lou Lou!!!!" I yelled
I ran over to her and squeezed her.
"Aunt Chrwis?"She called
"Yes Sweetie?" I asked
"Dwo I hwave a Cwousin nwow?"She asked
"Yes, but you wont see him for 17 years,"I said
She then looked sad but I cheered her up.
"So who wants to see Baby James?" I asked changing the subject.
"I do!"They all shouted.
So I just brought all the pictures up on the TV. They all said he looked liked just like Niall. I started crying, I miss my baby boy.