61. 41.i - Rough Transcript of a Conversation between Captain Thomas Rogue and Midnight Shadownight-Rogue (written by Kennedy Shadownight)
THOMAS: These are for you.
MIDNIGHT: They're... beautiful.
THOMAS: Well, I can't take all the credit. Kenny helped.
THOMAS: I didn't tell her.
THOMAS: I'm... sorry. For that.
MIDNIGHT: No. You're right. I should have told you.
THOMAS: You don't have to. Really.
MIDNIGHT: I feel like I do. Now that you know.
MIDNIGHT: Thomas, it's fine. It's... been a burden on my soul for a long time. It caused a lot of bad decisions and some very terrible acts of violence and... I don't know. Maybe, from time to time, it still gets to me. I act like it never happened, like I've forgotten it, but it's just always there. Accusing: this happened to you.
THOMAS: We all have our hard times, our dark stories, Midnight.
MIDNIGHT: I told you that my father was a sailor. And he had a lot of friends and acquaintances. I didn't like any of them but they were there. And as a personal... favour to one of his best friends - my father gave me to him in marriage, but I was too young. I was fifteen. Robert de Gaulle was nearly eight or nine years older than me. And I didn't like him. But... I was a different person then. I didn't know how to refuse, how to say no to my father. It sounds pathetic, but... that's just how it was. I spoke to my mother but she went on about all the burdens a woman has to bare and about life and what it is. I guess she just... wanted to get on with it. Robert was a rich man and my father would gain from our marriage. So we engaged, but we had to wait for me to be old enough to marry. But...
MIDNIGHT: But it didn't stop Robert from using me. I became a member of his household and every night I would refuse and every night he'd show me he didn't care. I told my mother, I told his mother - but it was the same lecture: You're a woman, deal with it. Do you want to know why I had so many rough pregnancies? If Robert caught the faintest sniff of a child, he would make me eat pennyroyal, put poisons in my food, pay physicians to force get rid of it. He hurt me so much, Thomas. So much and he just didn't care. And then... my father died when I turned eighteen, and I guess Robert decided he never meant to marry me anyway. He kept me in his home as some... plaything and I was too much of a coward to even just end my own life.
Thomas, I love you and I appreciate everything you do for me, for us. But when you touch me and I don't even see it coming, I swear to God, it scares the shit out of me.
MIDNIGHT: I eventually just packed what I needed and ran. I didn't look back and he didn't look for me. You remember I had scars on my face? I put them there: to destroy my appearance, my beauty. The man had killed me, killed what I used to be. I was a good kid, Thomas. I never did anything wrong, I did as I was told and being stupid was something I just couldn't do. But... Robert murdered that good, obedient girl and turned her into this soulless monster. I felt like I spent so much time in military because I've been killing hundreds and hundreds of Roberts all my life. For a while I couldn't even look at a man in the eye. You all disgusted me so much, the way you are, the things you do. But... things changed over time. I met Callum. I met Khadir and his father and his brothers and - they'd kill someone for just looking at me funny. I met you. And... for a time... I just forgot about Robert. About my past life entirely.
I'm sorry I've never told you, Thomas. I just... Didn't want to remember it.