teen idle | l.h

you can pull any face behind a mask. but be careful, someone else might be pretending. [c.a]

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4. 1.17.15

January 17, 2015  11:36 AM

 

I really hate math. How am I supposed to find the center of rotation? What is the center of rotation?

 

Sometimes I wonder what people are thinking. What they're going to do later. Where they came from. What their past was like. What they do when no one's around. What their secrets are. I think about it a lot. I also smile at strangers a lot. I think it brightens their day up just a little bit. That's what I live for. Brightening up people's days.

 

I wonder what it's like for someone to like you back. There's this boy in a few of my classes - Art History, History, and English - and he's really cute. He's tall and thin and he has blonde hair. Did I mention his eyes? They're the prettiest blue I've ever seen. Kind of like looking at the sky on a perfect day. You know, the days where the grass seems greener, the sky seems bluer, and everything just feels right. His name is Luke. He talks to me sometimes, usually when there's no one talking to me, which is a lot. I think he feels bad for me because I have no one to talk to. I hope that's not why he talks to me.

 

I asked my brother about him and he told me he seems like a nice enough boy. He doesn't think he pities me. He thinks he wants to be my friend. That excites me. I don't have many friends. The friends I did have left me because I payed more attention to self destruction than to them. I think they were jealous.

 

Speaking of self destruction, it's been 42 days. When I get to 100, I'm throwing a small party for myself. There will be cupcakes and my favorite meal. I'm going to ask my mom to plan it with me. It's going to be lovely.

 

I feel beautiful today. I'm not just saying that either. I actually feel beautiful. I wish I could feel like this everyday. That would be lovely.

 

I want to take pictures and hang them on my walls. I want to paint a picture and hang it on my wall. I really want to decorate my room. It's so boring. Blueish-gray gets old after a while. Hopefully I can go to the store tomorrow and get stuff for my room. I need new CDs. My Nirvana CD got all scratched and I can't find my Lana Del Rey CD. I don't have many CDS. Only like 5 or 6.

 

I really need band posters. Yeah. That's what I need.

 

I ought to quit procrastinating and just finish up my math homework.

 

Goodbye,

 

Lola

 

 

i think it was longer ??? did you like it ???

 

delilah

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