We were in bed for the night, our first night as husband and wife. But something was bugging me inside. Then it hit me...
He wanted a baby. I cringed at the thought of me as a mother. Carrying an innocent child inside of me for nine months, what if something went wrong? I guess I just jumped on board with the idea because I was so caught up in the moment. I had gotten married! I don't regret that one bit, but agreeing to start a family was something I feel a twinge of regret towards.
I couldn't imagine how rough it would be to carry a little baby inside of me for nine whole months. When you think about it, that length of time really sinks in. It's a really long time!
Kye was fast asleep next to me, but I was wide awake and stressing, badly.
I realized I was shaking when Kye woke up and asked if I was okay.
"Kye, it's just... A baby is a big step. I don't know if I can be a good mother. I mean, carrying an innocent little baby for nine whole months, it's a really scary thought... I'm really scared... When were you thinking it would happen, anyway?," I said.
"I don't know... I was just thinking, well... We're in some town where we weren't originally from, and we both know there's been people searching for us. I doubt the people have been searching just to interrogate us... I just want to see what life could really be like, and forget the past. If they find us, our chance at a decent life is gone," Kye said.
"Okay...," I said.
He smiled and kissed me. It was different than before, more forceful. I tried to pull back, but he had me deeply embraced. I finally pulled away, and was a little shaken.
"Not now... I'm not ready...," I said.
He nodded, embraced me a little more gently, and went back to sleep.
I just wanted to have a halfway normal life, with a beautiful wife, and a itty bitty little daughter. It would take a lot of courage, but I thought Riya would understand. I can see why she is scared, I mean, who I wouldn't be scared to carry a baby in you for nine months?
It's a big step, but I'm willing to take it. But, only when Riya was ready for it.
She was so cute when she slept. She'd be a great mother...
I couldn't wait until the day would come that she'd tell me we'd be parents...
But for now, I'd wait.