"CAUSE of HIM"

"your voice is like a angel" "I'm no angel with no wings" "why not" "cause someone has to help me build my wings up again" as I tell him then everything went quiet. But the only thing she was good at was to fake a smile for everyone.

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28. 27.

chapter 27 !!  IMPORTANT AT THE END !!!!

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Serena's pov.

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.The real world is where the monsters are. Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. i realize having so much you don't see that your bleeding through the pain, its stabbing you in the back and making you bleed to death. is it true what people say, that life is full of happiness, and so much joy. well they are wrong because i can tell you about life. life is a living hell were you grow up not knowing what will happen to you, not knowing what to do because you might just fall hard or be a easy person who can fake a life just like that. well I'm not fake but I'm sure as hell i can hide my smile good around the evil and the reality. i hope to find real life and real joy, without evil and demons around me. there just watching me and laughing at me because I'm weak and that i get fight them back but soon i will that's what  i always say. maybe i just need to having my hopes up thinking i will be strong to fight my demons, i realize they are becoming stronger then me every time i became more hurt. are things suppose to be like this the way we feel, cry, or in pain. but to me i never know when to start this pain. they say someones makes the pain go away soon is it true, do i believe what they say. i just want to feel love and happy and joy and me again.

**************************************

have you ever thought you could fall in love so quick and you haven't realize that your falling hard and your scared to let go of that person. I'm falling over heels for harry. he's so sweet, i like his cheesy moments, the way he can make me laugh, he brings a smile to me. i like his green eyes that gets brighter everyday, his dimple you can just poke. he hates it when i poke his dimple but i know he loves it. right now me and him are laying down on his bed with are feet tangled up with each other and my head on his chest. i ended up staying the night at harry's place, we just having a lazy day with each other. watching the rain out from his window. my finger tracing his butterfly tattoo i fell in love with his tattoo's. yes he has his shirt off and i have his shirt on and no we didn't do the dirty. ( A/N they will be doing it soon once i up come which chapter they will be doing lol oops i said it ) 

" Rena  " harry said in a raspy voice.

" hmm " i said.

" I'm planning doing the x factor " once he said these i had a smile on my face because my handsome boyfriend is doing the x factor. i then sat up and look at him, he had his eyes close. i then kiss him on the neck.

" I'm happy your doing something you truly love " i said while kissing him. i then felt him smile through the kiss.

" i thought yo would be mad at me because I'm leaving to do the x factor " he said a little sad.

" harry you know i wouldn't be mad, I'm happy for you. and anyways I'm planning on signing up for modeling and acting " i said smiling to him. 

" ooh modeling i love seen you a bikini babe " he said a smirk on his face, i then through a pillow at him which he caught.

" you know harry, no matter what happens and what choice we make for are life. i just hope we will always have each other. "

" and also the boys are sighing up to " he said with a wide smile.

" I'm glad your finally doing something you love. " 

" yeah i am and I'm not fully happy went until i do something i been wanting to but that will come soon i hope " he said with a smile, i don't whats running through his head all i know is i hope he  does something he loves and be happy, and yes i plan on doing modeling and acting that's always has been my dream. school almost over and soon we will all be heading to are dreams.

Harry's pov.

i have decide i will be doing the x factor, i thought Serena wouldn't want me to be doing the x factor but she was happy for me. I'm glad to have a girlfriend like her to make me happy, i just need to tell her about my past soon or she will find out from someone else. and also when i said I'm not fully happy yet until i do something i been wanting to do. well i have been thinking me and Serena have been going out for almost 5 months now. i want to make her fully mine and only mine forever and yes I'm saying I'm gonna ask her to marry me, you might think I'm going crazy about this and stuff. but i really love her so much she just the happiest girl i ever seen and the brightest person to make your day full of joy. I'm still planing how to ask to marry me., and of course i have to ask her mom for permission to marry her daughter. i have ask the boys to help me come up with a idea to help me ask her to marry me. all i want is a future with her. she just so beautiful. 

Serena's pov.

harry took me home not that long ago, right now I'm heading up into my room to put my stuff away and just lay down on my bed and fall asleep. as i took my shoes off and put my bag on my bed. i start to change my clothes and put on my shorts and a long sleeve shirt, and long socks. i grab my hair and tied it up in a messy bun. as sit down on my bed i look and see a picture of me and a piano. i smile at the picture. its been so long i haven't played the piano. my grandpa had move the piano to my moms house so that when i feeling lonely or bored i could play with my piano. i then grab my phone and went downstairs to go play with my piano. its been so long i haven't touch a piano, as i slide my fingers over the piano i then smile wide. i miss playing the piano, i just get wait get my fingers to start playing.

WHEN I LOOK AT YOU by miley cyrus

Everybody needs inspiration

Everybody needs a song

A beautiful melody

When the night's so long

'Cause there is no guarantee

That this life is easy

Yeah, when my world is falling apart

When there's no light to break up the dark

That's when I, I

I look at you

When the waves

Are flooding the shore and I can't

Find my way home anymore

That's when I, I

I look at you

When I look at you, I see forgiveness

I see the truth

You love me for who I am

Like the stars hold the moon

Right there where they belong

And I know I'm not alone

Yeah, when my world is falling apart

When there's no light to break up the dark

That's when I, I

I look at you

When the waves

Are flooding the shore and I can't

Find my way home anymore

That's when I, I

I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me

Just like Kaleidoscope colors that

Cover me, all I need

Every breath that I breathe

Don't you know you're beautiful?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

When the waves

Are flooding the shore and I can't

Find my way home anymore

That's when I, I

I look at you

I look at you

Yeah, yeah, yeah

You appear just like a dream

To me 

as i finish i smile because i feel so relax, i feel so good right now from playing my piano, its been so long i touched a piano. i then get up to go to my room and change i need to someone and i haven't talk to that person for so long. as i go upstairs. i grab my jumper and black skinny jeans and converse. and skateboard. its been so long i have skateboard. as i grab a paper and leave a letter to my mom so she doesn't have to worry about me when she comes home from work.

be back went to go visit carter ... 
                                         love,
                                                   serenaXX

i then put the paper on the door so she knows where I'm at. i grab my keys and skateboard and start to skate. as im skating i can feel the wind blow in my hair. i decide to go get some flowers for my brother as i got him flowers i then started skating again i then seen the grave yard i make a stop and start looking for my brothers name. as I'm looking i seen a stone with the name i have been wanting to see.

                  Carter Bryan Torrez 

                          1984 - 2002
              loving brother, son, friend. 
" always had a warm heart & always will " 

i laugh how my brother would always tell me, he said to always remember that you " always have a warm heart and always will " i then put the flowers down, i sat on the ground, i had take breath for a minute before i started talking. 
" so its been a long time i have been here, i have so much to you, but i know your watching me, man were should i start about this boy. well his name is harry for starter "

Harry's pov.

" harry are you sure you want this, this is a big commitment " Louis said looking at me.

" yes I'm sure Lou, I'm not backing down its just I'm nervous and I'm scared that she might say no to me " i said to him and being honest about.

" mate she not gonna say no, she might be shock that your asking her to marry her at a young age but i think she will say yeah " he said with a wide smile.

" your right Lou i shouldn't worry about this i know she will say yes "

" well all you need to do is ask for her moms blessing " Lou said and patted my back.

" i know that's why she coming over to the house to have tea with me. "

" and what me am i gonna have too " Lou said with his blue eyes begging me.

" no because you are leaving "

'' why you gotta kick me out for "

" because Lou this is her mom I'm talking about " i then started pushing him out of the house so that i can clean it up and go change real quick.

" your mean " he said.

" and your being weird " i said and laugh at what i said. he then gave me a death glare.

" bye Lou "

" bye hazza "

as Louis left i started picking up stuff around the house making sure its clean ans i look around the house looks good. i then ran upstairs to change as im change i hear the door bell ring i ran in teh kitchen to see if the tea is heating up. i then went to the door.

" hello Liana "

" hello harry, how are you dear "

" I'm doing good and you "

" same "

" right this way, the kitchen is were we will be having tea if that's okay Liana "

" oh yes that's fine dear " i then close the door and went to the kitchen to make the tea. as i grab two cups and pour the tea in. and handed to Liana. she started drinking her tea.

" so harry tell me why I'm really here "

" i knew you would be asking that soon "

" of course i would "

" well I'm here to ask your permission to marry your daughter " i said to her while she look at me surprised that I'm asking her if i can marry her daughter.

" and why do you want to marry my daughter harry " she said sipping her tea.

" well because i love your daughter so much and i love to make her happy everyday and make sure she safe. i wanna be the one to be there for her. i wanna be the one helping her going through her dark side. i wanna be there when she falls i wanna be there when a tear falls so i can be the one to wipe it. i wanna be the one she loves. i want her to my wife and the women i love " i said to her. she then look at me and smile at me.

" well harry you have prove that you been there for my daughter so much, i am willing to you my blessing but you both of to finish school before getting married " as she said i had a wide smile on my face that won't wipe off for a while.

" well Liana I'm planning on doing the x factor in a months or so and i told Serena about she was happy what i made but i told her I'm not fully yet till i do something i want "

" well I'm glad you are doing something you love and I'm also glad my daughter is there for you "

" thank you Liana "

" no thank you harry =, for making my daughter the happiest person again. so tell me how are you to do it " she said.

" i don't know how I'm gonna do it I'm just thinking how but its hard i don't have any ideas "

" well i have something you can do " she said.

Serena's pov. 

i have been at the grave yard for almost 2 hours now just talking. as i was talking my phone started ringing i look to who it was. and it was Alex calling me. i press accept on my phone and asnwered it.

( P/C talking )

(Serena) " Hello "

( Alex ) " Serena " ( said in a sad voice )

( Serena ) " Alex whats wrong " ( said worried )
( Alex ) do you think you can come to the house please ( cries in between sobs )

( Serena ) " yeah i will be there in a minute "

we both hang up i the grab my skateboard.

" i will see you later carter Alex needs me " i then got on my skateboard and road to Alex house, she didn't live that far from the grave yard. then made it to her house. ran to her door and knock. i then wait till the door was open. as she opens the door and looks at me she had bloodshot red eyes she has been crying. i then walk in.

" Alex what's wrong " as i said that she just hug and started huging me. i then hug her bad.

" my moms hate me, she gonna kick me out of the house, she told me im a bad daughter to her "
" Alex what's going on " she then lift her head up and look at me with her sad face.

" I'm pregnant with Blake's child " once she told me i was into shock because my best was having a child growing inside of her. 

" wow, im sorry its just im in shock. but you know im gonna be here for you liek always no matter what happens and i know Blake isn ot gonan leave you Alex don't start thinking that you guys have been together since freshmen year " i said her to bringing a little smile.

" thanks serena but my moms kicking me and i have no place to live "

" why don't you come and leave with us, you knwo my mom loves you dearly "

" your really the greatest best friend serena "

" well that's what friends are made for right " i said to her i look at her and a tear slip out of her eyes, i then cried with her and i told her im always her shoulder to cry on like she is to me. 

*********************************

i need ship names for serena and harry ! 

and also there is gonna be a another book for this !!!!!!!! this is your guys late persent from me and new years gift too !!!!!!!!!! 

 have a great day !!! :) 

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