Do you what it feels like to get hurt by the one and only person you love and trust? Do you know the pain and suffering you go through because of it all? Do you know that with all of that there are scars left inside your very heart because of all the pain? Diana, a 17 year old high school girl had been through this and a whole lot more but will she ever be able to forget about it and move on? Will she ever fall in love again or will she hold on to the awful memories she had from her past relationship and swear never to love anyone again? Will she ever be happy again, will she ever have a normal life again?


3. Chapter 3

Harry’s POV “Thanks.” Diana’s voice is barely audible. I hand her a mug filled with hot coffee and she’s thankful for it as I’m grateful to bringing it to her. She looks so tired and stressed out. She has a little bit of those dark circles underneath her beautiful eyes and her pretty blonde hair may be a mess but to me she still looks perfect as can be. We are sitting on the sofa, watching the TV. Some crazy show is on but I’m not paying attention to it; my focus is on Diana. I gaze at her beautiful face, how perfect and blue her eyes are and her pretty blonde hair that is in a messy bun. I continue to stare at how she sips her hot coffee and the way her lips are parting makes me want to kiss her. She catches me staring and I immediately turn my attention away from her, so fast that it’s too obvious as to what I was just doing a minute ago. “So uh about that nightmare you had last night…” I trail off not knowing how else to finish the sentence. I remember her last night, in my cloudy vision, when she came into my room and asked if she could sleep in my bed although she was already under the covers with me. I don’t remember much because I think I fell asleep right after that. “Oh yeah I almost forgot about it.” She takes another sip of coffee. “Yeah so what was it about?” I take my first sip of the hot caffeinated drink. “Well I-remember when I um…” She hesitates a little. “Remember when what love?” I ask leaning forward and focusing my attention on her. “When I got raped?” She shivers at the thought and I do too. I nod and take another sip of the coffee to warm myself up. The weather is rather cold and in here is not much warmer than outside is right now. She gulps before continuing, “Well I dreamt that…” She stares into her cup with a face I can’t exactly read but I’m sure fear and worry are present. “…you got raped again? In your dream?” I finish her sentence for her and she nods her head in a slow motion. “Yeah but this time it was different I dreamt that you were the one who did it.” She avoids eye contact while saying this. “What? So are you scared of me now? Diana you know I wouldn’t do such a thing especially not to you.” I soon realize that I’m sounding a little too defensive but I don’t want her to think I would do something like that to a girl especially a girl like her. “No Harry I’m not scared of you.” She focuses her attention back on the television. “Then what are you scared off love?” I keep my focus on her. “Everything.” She loses her gaze from the television and looks down at the floor. “What do you mean everything?” I need to know what she means by that. “I don’t know. If you went through all that I’ve been through Harry you would know how it feels. I feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore. My trust has been broken, not once but a few times and I don’t want that to happen again.” She holds eye contact with me and then breaks it too soon. “I understand what you mean. I may not have been through what you have been through but I do understand you and I understand how you may feel. But one question, do you trust me? You said you can’t trust anyone anymore but I want to know if you trust me. You do trust me because if you didn’t you wouldn’t be here right now.” I try to hold eye contact with her. “Well even if I didn’t trust you I wouldn’t have any other choice but to stay here with you and yes I do trust you and only you.” She looks away from my gaze sooner than I intended her to. I take another sip of coffee and stare at the TV. “Do you always get nightmares or was last night the first night?” I keep my stare on the television but my focus on what she is saying. “I always get them. From since the incident and my parents’ death I always get them.” I’m not looking at her so I don’t know what she is doing. “What did you do? You had no one to run to so what did you do when you got them?” I move my eyes from the television and glue them onto her instead. “I just stayed in bed and cried. Sometimes I would fall back asleep and sometimes I would be too scared to even close my eyes.” She looks at me with fear and I see how she must have suffered. I look away from her because if I didn’t I know she would be in tears by now. She looks so innocent and she has been hurt so badly in her life before. I can see the pain and hurt in her eyes. “And how old are you again?” She looks around my age or maybe a little younger. “I’m seventeen almost eighteen.” She puts down her now empty mug down on the coffee table. “Oh.” I nod. “And how old are you Harry?” She turns to look at me. “I’m eighteen, nineteen in February.” I flash her smile. “Oh I feel old already.” She laughs at my little joke. It’s good to see her laughing even for just a little bit. I get up without saying a word and take up her mug together with mines and carry them to the kitchen sink. “I have studying to do for upcoming exams so if you miss me I’ll be in my room, okay?” She gets up and walks towards the door, holding the knob while saying this. “Okay love.” I continue washing the mugs and I hear a soft click which signals her being not there anymore. *** “Okay smarty pants, it’s been almost two hours since you’ve been studying. Come on and let’s do something fun. Let’s go somewhere.” I suggest while sitting on her bed. “No I still have two more topics to cover.” She buries her head in a large book I’m sure she’s gonna take years to finish. I get up from the bed and take the book away from her. “Oh you’re reading about the reproductive system. You could have just asked me about it and I would have given you all the details and info on this topic.” I grin at her. She smacks my arm and takes the book away from me. I sigh before smiling at her. “Come on go get ready. We’re leaving in a few minutes.” With that I close the door behind me and walk out leaving her to do whatever has to be done. *** Diana’s POV “So where are we going?” I ask Harry as we pull out from his driveway. “On a date.” He replies not moving his eyes from the road. “What?” I look at him. “I’m just taking you out if you want it to be a date then that’s okay with me.” He flashes me a bright smile and continues down the road. I turn my head back and stare out the window. I can see all the signs of autumn still in clear view and the signs of winter slowly approaching. It’s November which means Christmas is right around the corner. Christmas was my favourite time of the year. I had my family and friends and everyone being good and nice to each other. But now I have nothing to look forward to this Christmas; no family, no friends, no boyfriend, no love, no Christmas spirit, no holiday cheer or anything that made me feel like Christmas. I remember last year was the first Christmas my ex-boyfriend, Jack and I had spent together. It was lots of fun with him. Every time we were together things were just great but soon everything about our relationship started crumbling to pieces. He was starting to reveal his bad side to me and I didn’t like it but I don’t blame him because of all the pressure he faced. I wonder what he has been up to and where he is currently staying. I wonder if her regrets what he did to me and still think of me. Or he probably thinks that I’m dead and he just doesn’t give a crap. “What are you thinking about, you’re awfully quiet.” Harry voice brings me back to reality. “Oh just memories.” I keep my gaze outside, still looking through the window. “Well now’s not the time for thinking, it’s the time for drinking c’mon.” I giggle at his remark and step out of the vehicle in the cold November air. The wind bites at my face and arms that are free and bare. I shudder although I have on a long-sleeved sweater. “Come on.” Harry wraps an arm around my shoulder and it makes me warmer than I was before. He pulls me into a little shop that smells like coffee, nutmeg and peppermint which reminds me of Christmas. He doesn’t take his arm from around and in a way I am glad because I feel much warmer this way but I also don’t want him getting close to me but there’s no harm in this, right? “So what do you want?” He motions to the counter where a woman stands behind smiling up at us. “Hmm I’m cold how about hot chocolate?” I ask the woman at the counter. “How many, two?” She puts up two fingers at us to go with the question. I look to Harry for his approval and he nods his head in agreement with me. “So what else do you want love?” His eyes scan the shelves of colourful Christmas candy and cookies. “I think I want that.” I point to a chocolate cookie that has M&M’s on it. “You want anything else?” He catches my gaze and tries to hold it but I look back to the shelves of candies. “Harry you’re trying to spoil me, aren’t you?” I look up at him with innocent eyes. “Is it working?” He glances down at me. “A little.” I take one of the cups the woman places on the counter and hand Harry the other one. I take a sip then order a few more candies while Harry orders almost everything in the small shop. There are all different types of candy and sweets, mostly Christmas stuff though. “So where are we going now?” I inquire after stepping into the car. “Well we have all afternoon to do something fun so I say we go to that arcade downtown.” He suggests. I don’t protest, I have nothing better to do than studying anyways. *** “Yes! New high score!” Harry exclaims after winning a game and beating me like I was made to be beaten at this game. “Okay let’s so again Styles this time I’ll whip your butt.” I’m more interested now and I’m more focused. Besides, I want to beat him and show him that I’m not boring and that I can play a stupid game of racing. “Okay Princess, whatever you say.” He hits the start button and we positon ourselves to get ready to play. *** After playing all the games at the arcade and having a blast, we head straight home without any stops on the way back. It feels good to have had so much fun this afternoon at that arcade; I want to go there again sometime. I didn’t know just a little video games would be so much fun. It also feels good to be back in his big mansion though. I wonder if I ever would get used to living in this huge place. What am I saying? I can’t stay here forever, probably when I turn eighteen I’ll go back to live in my parents’ house again. No, that’s not a good idea; it would only bring back memories of them. I sigh and roll on my side. I’m lying in bed trying to sleep but I keep thinking that when I fall asleep I’ll have another nightmare again. Okay almost two hours had passed and I’m still not asleep. Maybe I should check and see if Harry’s asleep yet. I climb out of bed and walk along the dark, blinding hallway to Harry’s room just a few doors away from my room. This time I knock on the door, knowing that he would be awake. “Come in.” He calls in his deep voice. I open the door and walk inside closing it behind me. I feel the cold AC again on my bare legs and arms. I shudder and walk up to his bed. “Hey love you still up.” He’s sitting, his back leaning against the headboard, eyes focusing on the device he has in his hand. “Yeah I can’t sleep. Mind if I lie here with you?” I wrap my arms around myself feeling the cold air hitting against my skin. “No, no I don’t mind get in.” He pulls down the covers for me to climb in and with the little bit of moonlight shinning in I see that his chest is bare, without a shirt, his tattoos exposing. He has tattoos? Oh yeah he does. It’s so obvious because his left hand is covered in them but I don’t think I paid much attention to any or them. I dismiss the thought from my head and hurriedly climb into the bed getting under the covers with him. He looks up from the phone his is holding and wraps an arm around again just like he did today when I was cold. I glance over on the screen and notice he’s messaging someone. I was going to ask who it was then I decided against it; whoever it is, that’s none of my business anyways. “Well goodnight Harry.” I sink myself deeper into the covers. “Goodnight love.” He places a kiss on my hair then continues back with his texting.
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