Just like that, Bethany was gone. My friends were all waiting for me since we all came together but no one rushed me out of there. Without her next to me, I felt like part of me was missing and it broke my heart. I knew she was going to do amazing things, but I still couldn't help but feel hurt that she had left.
“Are you going to be okay?” Adrienne asked, still next to me.
“I don't really know…”
“You know that we're all here for you though, right?”
“Yeah I know…thank you.” Adrienne gave me a sad smile before we turned around and started back to the cars.
Once I got home, I realized I had a whole month left before I started at Oxford and I had no idea what I was going to do for that month. I looked around my room and saw what few things Bethany left behind here and it made me sad. I fell onto her side of the bed and no longer felt like moving.
I opened her nightstand drawer and there was a picture of us on one of our dates. We had gone to the beach and she was trying to take a picture of us with the water in the background but the sun was in my eyes so she kept wanting to retake the picture. She finally gave up and the picture ended up coming out as her laughing and me squinting and laughing. It was her favorite picture of us. I smiled to myself and decided that I needed to nap this off; I didn't feel like doing much of anything.
“Hey, dinner.” I woke up to Gemma pushing me awake. I groaned and pulled the blanket over my head. “Okay look, I get this isn't ideal or how you wanted to spend your last month of summer, with Bethany gone, but you can't lay in bed and nope for the next month. It'll just make you more depressed.”
“I think I'll be just fine here. And I'm not hungry anyway. I just wanna stay in bed.”
“You can't be like this for the rest of your summer.”
“I think I can spent my summer how I want. And I think this is what I want to do right now. Is it ideal, no, you're right, but she just went clear across the country for the next 4 years and I'll be here. What if something happens? I can't lose her.”
“I know you don't want to lose her. She's the first real girl you've ever brought over and the first girl that I think you've ever tried for, so I get it. You love her and want her close, but this is like a test; to see if you guys can really make it. This isn't going to be easy, I won't lie. But you need to make the best of it. And if it doesn't work, it isn't meant to be.”
“Don't say that…” I said, shoving my face into her pillow.
“Look, I'm not going to sit here and tell you everything will be perfect. I mean, me and Josh broke up because we couldn't handle distance, but me and Jax are handling it well. He's finishing up school and we've been together a couple years now.”
“Yeah but Josh was also an asshole.”
“Put that aside; he wanted to travel the world, we couldn't handle it, I met Jax while he was here on a semester abroad and now he's back in America and we're doing great. He has plans to come here when he graduates from Yale and that's only 8 months away and we've been doing this for about two and a half years now.”
“Yeah but you met him when he was basically halfway through college. This is a whole 4 years…”
“And she will visit on long holidays and you can always visit her. There's nothing wrong with that. You know I've taken a couple short trips to see Jax and he's come here a couple times.”
“It's not that easy…”
“No, it's not easy. But if you two can make it through this, you can make it through anything. Now, are you sure you don't want dinner?”
“Yeah, I'm positive.” I rolled back over, just wanting to sleep. I felt Gemma get off my bed and heard the door close gently behind her. I sighed and buried myself more into the covers and pillows. These next four years were going to be hell.
After I landed in America, I had some serious jet lag. I thought it was time for bed but in reality, here, it was only 4 in the afternoon. I found the car service guy my parents had paid for and walked over to him. He walked us to his car and loaded up my suitcases and I climbed in the car, hoping for a short nap. A drive from New York City to New Jersey was at least a couple hours…I could totally get a short nap in.
“Miss Bethany?” I groaned and rubbed my eyes as I slowly opened them.
“Are we here?”
“Yes ma'am.” I got out of the car and saw incoming freshman wandering everywhere. I helped my driver get some of my suitcases and slowly made my way to my dorm room, taking the campus in. It was so much more beautiful then I could've ever imagined. The pictures did it no justice.
Once I got to my dorm room, I saw that I had a roommate who was unpacking her things. I slowly walked in, gently kicking the door closed behind me. She looked up and saw me, then smiled.
“You must be Bethany; I'm Maggie.”
“Nice to meet you.” She smirked and raised an eyebrow.
“Not from around here?”
“Uh no, I'm from London.”
“Damn girl…long way to come just for a college education.” I smiled a little and yawned again.
“Yeah a little, but worth it in my mind.”
“Hey, more power to you. So what are you majoring in?”
“Im majoring in finance and minoring in European politics.” I said.
“Damn, smart ass over here.”
“I'm majoring in history. I guess you can handle a lot?” Maggie asked.
“Yeah I guess so. I'm just used to always having a lot on my plate at all times so when I don't, I get confused.” I said, half joking.
“I definitely don't think I could handle all that, but hey, props to you. That's awesome.”
“Thanks.” I said, smiling. Me and Maggie made small talk for a little bit before she headed off to the opening fair, where all the clubs and sororities had their booths to draw in new freshman. I just stayed back and finished unpacking so I could call Harry and my parents before it got super late back at home.
“Did you hear from Bethany tonight?” Liam asked. He had come over to see how I was doing so my second nap of the day was interrupted.
“Yeah, I heard from her about an hour ago.”
“It's almost midnight…”
“They are about 6 hours behind us too. So to her it was probably like 5 or something.”
“Shit I didn't even think of that.” Liam said, shaking his head. “So how are you holding up?”
“I've been sleeping most of the day. Gemma woke me up around 5 for dinner, and you woke me up like 30 minutes ago to see why I wasn't at the waterhole…but we all know it was to check up on me.”
“I think I have a right to be concerned about my friend.”
“You do. I just feel like sleeping is all. I just keep thinking how hard these four years are going to be.”
“Try not to focus on it. I'm sure you guys will be fine.” I nodded, trying to agree with Liam but four years, apart for a majority of that time, it just seemed really hard. I used to spend every waking moment with her and now…now it's just me and we can video chat every once and awhile. It was just a big change and I didn't know how long it would take to get used to it.
“Yeah…” I finally said. “I'll try.”
“Good. I'll let you get back to sleep though. It's been a hard day for all of us. Hit me up tomorrow and we can do something?”
“I'm not sure I'll be up to anything but if I am, I'll give you a call.”
“Alright…see ya.” Liam said before walking out. Four years…only four years…which is what I was repeating to myself in my head until I was finally able to fall back asleep.