36. Nothing lasts forever.
I fall asleep beside Michael I had been talking to him even though he doesn't know. The boys left to get showers and I go in here with him.. "I miss you Mikey.." I feel something shake and I open my eyes immediately. Michaels eyes are open hes just staring off in space. Its been 23 hours since his eyes have opened according to the doctor. I grab his hand. "Mikey.." He turns his head and stares at me. "Hey baby... I'm so sorry." I go to kiss his hand but he pulls it away from me. "I-I'll be right back." He stares at me as I walk out. "Hello?" A nurse comes out from the back. "Yes?" I smile at her. "Hes awake. He looked at me." She quickly follows behind me as we go into the room. "Hello Michael.. You sure are a fighter. I'm glad I can finally see your beautiful eyes. Do you want something that you can write with?" He does nothing. She brushes it off and goes to grab a marker board his eyes stay on me. "Ash get here now hes awake!" I text Ash quickly. "Okay sir here you go can you write?" He holds the marker in his hand but doesn't do anything just stares at me. I smile weakly at him. "can you write your name?" He looks down at the board. Then back at me. "Please..." I whisper. He closes his eyes breathes in a deep breath then puts "Michael (No middle name) Clifford." The nurse smiles. "GREAT!" I smile at him. "Um when is he going to uh.. get that... uh.. Out of his throat?.." She turns to me. "it depends. We will talk to the doctor and he'll tell you when we can start to kind of take him off of it. His breathing seems to be pretty good right now. Hes a great fighter." I smile and nod. Michael watches her leave then stares at me. "Hi..." He looks down at the board and writes something. He turns it towards me. "Fuck you." I look down. "Well... You kinda already have..." I hear this weird noise and I look back up. It looks like hes laughing. "Not funny Clifford." He rolls his eyes. I get closer to him and grab his hand. "I'm so sorry Mikey.." He pulls his hand away from me. "No." I stare at the board. I nod. "Okay.."
Ashton busts through the door. "MICHAEL!" He looks over at Ashton. "Hey man." Ashton smiles "I've missed you." Michael writes something on the board and turns it where I can't see. "I won't tell her that." Michael glares at him. but erases it quickly and writes something else. "I won't tell her that either." I look at Ash. "Tell me what?" Ash rubs the back of his neck and reads what Michael writes. "I want her here Michael." I look down. "Oh... Okay.. I.. He doesn't want me here does he?" I get up and start to leave but Michael grabs my arm. "You broke me."
"You broke me." I shake my head at
Michael as Ari leaves with tears in her eyes. "What?" I shake my head again. "Do you even know what happened to her?" He writes something. "I know what happened to me." I look down. "She loves you" Michael starts to hit the board hard trying to get my attention I look up. "She made out with some prick." I shake my head with a big smile on my face. "Oh Michael you don't know half of it." I sit down and explain everything that Ari told me. He closes his eyes. The starts to write. "I'm a dick." I nod. "You are but you're a shot dick." He looks away from me. "Text her."
We all sit in Michaels room waiting for the doctor. Well all of us except Ari she refuses to come back. "Ah hello boys." Five hours later I think. "Well good news!" We all turn to the doctor. "Good news. Hes breathing better. We're going to take the tube out and put him on regular oxygen. No more tube down his throat. However.. He will have to keep the tube in his side since we have been grtting discharge. Thats normal for his condition though. If you boys will step out we will get the tube out and yo can come back in." We nod and stand. "Finally!" We highfive. "I-Is he okay?" I turn to Ari. "Yeah he's getting the tube out you should come in." She shakes her head "no way."
The boys walk back into the room and I turn around about to go back downstairs when somebody grabs me. He puts his hand over my mou and drags me. "Stop fighting dammit!" I bite his finger. "Ouchhh." Its Cal. I turn and glare at him. Its too late though. I'm already in the room. Michael stares at me. He looks weak. I turn and start to walk but Luke stands infront of the door. I look down. Ashton grabs my arm and pulls me to the bed. I feel tears running down my face. "Why are you doing this? To prove a point? I know I've broke him.. I get it.. Let us just go our seperate ways.." I try to hold back the tears but they. fall harder. "I didn't get shot for your ass to give up this fast." I don't answer. "Ariel. You can't stay away from me forever. I can get over it. We can fix us." I shake my head. "No michael. No we can't." I get shoved closer to the bed. "Look at me." He grabs my hand. I ignore him. He tries to pull my hand closer to his face but I pull away. "You can't do this to me." I look up. "You can do it. You can't just come into my life. Make me fall inlove then come after me and get shot. Make me hurt so bad I can hardly walk. Make me hurt so bad its like I can't live my life without you. Say I broke you then act like you want me.. Act like you can fix it.." I look back down. "We can fix it Ari can't you see I need you?" I look up at him. "There's that word again. "Need." "I need you," "I need you to need me". How nauseating, to need another human being, as if their heart is in your throat. Love isn't about need. Don't romanticize the notion of desperation. Let me let you in our a secret: You don't need me. And I don't need you. We can get through life just fine without each other. Love is not wanting to. We want each other, we want skin and hands and a our daily scars. We want intoxication and art museums and intertwined limbs. We want ferocity in our lips and tracing slow, small circles on our stomachs. I don't need you in my life, but god damn I want you in it."
"But god damn I want you in it." I grab her hand. "When did you get so sophisticated?" She glares at me. "Damn way to ruin the mood I was. totally feeling it." Ariels cheeks heat when Ash says this. I laugh with him. "Whatever clifford.." She pulls her hand away from me. "I-I'm gonna go." My face falls. "Babe don't.. It was just a joke.." She turns to me tears threatening to fall at any minute. "Don't fucking call me that." she says through gritted teeth. "I told you we can't fix this." And with that she turns and leaves. "Damn, I love that girl." They all turn to me. "She just left you?" I roll my eyes. "She'll be back."
*AUTHORS NOTE* Hiii guyss sorry I didn't update earlier. I've had problems with.. parents.. All day. Supposedly I'm in trouble because I parked in my dads spot. So I got cussed out. And bleh. Not going into details. Anyways I'm working on the next chapter so yeah c; And by the one who said "Please don't let mikey die." I WOULD NEVA! Mikeys my sunshine c: Its been so hard writing about him in pain