His soft lips grazed my forehead, the feeling lingered for a while. My breathing sped up to a rapid pace and my hands shook as I caressed his cheek. This was it, the end of the line. I shut my eyes as memories bombarded my head. He was my first kiss, my first lover, my first everything.
He shifted his movement and stepped back, causing an empty feeling to flood my body. I felt numb and cold, but it wasn't because of the rough winds that whipped around us. I stepped towards him, but I was rejected as he stepped back once again. He let out a sigh, shutting his eyes. A single tear traveled down to his chin. My chest tightened.
This was the first time he's ever cried first. Of course, I've seen him cry before, but it was usually because I was crying first. Once again, I stepped even closer to him wrapping my small arms around his torso. His arms stayed by his sides as I rested my head onto his chest. He stiffened and I could hear his heart beat pounding through his heavy jacket.
"You're making this harder than it is." his voice cracked at the end. My arms fell to my sides while my throat tightened. I felt as if I was choking, but on what? Air? Saliva? Nope, emotions. I stayed silent for a few more seconds until I finally decided to say something.
"So this isn't hard for you? At all? Because this sure is for me. Its god damn infuriating!" I raised my voice causing him to flinch, but I didn't care. How did he not find this at all difficult? Was this entire thing a joke, is that why this seems so easy for him? I balled my fist as I continued my breathless rant.
"Do I mean anything to you? You mean a whole damn lot to me. Hell, you were everything to me! Honestly, tell me why you're doing this. I understand that you're all famous and shit, but am I not more important than your fame? Call my selfish, but I honestly thought so. I thought that the reason you came home every few months was for me, for us! Now I don't even know if you remembered I was here. Do you not like me anymore because I don't have the same social ranking as you? Fucking answer me Louis!"
I didn't even notice the tears that were furiously pouring down my cheeks. I tugged at my hair, I felt breathless and heartless. The guy I loved the most ripped out my heart and shamelessly pulverized it to bits. Now he threw the pieces of my heart at me and watched as I crumbled to pieces. He pinched the bridge of his nose before he spoke.
"When we were first in the relationship I was the happiest guy I could be. I remember singing you to sleep whenever I sneaked out to your house. It was you that told me to audition, it was you that pushed me to be who I am today. You are my number one fan and were the most important person in my life. I loved how you pushed me to do this. I love how you put up with my hectic schedule. I loved you so much." he reached out to touch me, but I moved away.
"Loved as in used to? So you're saying you don't love me anymore?" I waited for a response, but didn't get one. My tears stopped flowing out, but my chest still ached. "If you loved someone once you can never un-love them. I still love you Louis. I always have and always will. I can't stop loving you. Yeah, maybe we'll find other people to love, but our love for each other can't lessen. If you suddenly stop loving me, then did you ever love me at all? Or was I only here for the experience? This dumbass roller coaster as you call it." Sarcasm oozed out of the last line.
He was quick to respond, "You're right Elizabeth, I never did love you. I never have and never will." His harsh eyes pierced into my soul.
No no no, he's being sarcastic. He's just saying this to mess with me. To get rid of me easier, but inside I knew that he meant every word. There's no longer a point to convince myself that he still does love me or ever did for that matter. I stood there shaking my head, wiping away the tears that poured out.
"You're lying, I'm certain you are. Your eyes tell me everything Louis, everything." The longer I stared into his eyes the more I realized I was right. There was a glimmer in his eyes that told me so. He glared at me then soon let out a wicked and cold laugh.
"I never loved you." his voice was cold, which was enough for me to get the message. His eyes no longer felt like home and his arms no longer looked inviting. I reached up to grab the necklace that dangled from my neck. I visciouly yanked the necklace off and threw it at him.
I wanted to be able to say I didn't love him either, that I never did. But I wasn't a cold-hearted jerk like he was. "Good bye Louis,'' without another word I furiously stomped away. I didn't bother to look back, I just kept walking away. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I wasn't going anywhere near him ever again.
Firs chapter ayeeee!
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- Chloe :)