So sorry that I haven't been able to update in forever but I hope you all had a great Christmas! I'm sorry if this isn't that good.. I try haha.(:
I wake up to yet another school day. It has been 2 weeks since I've moved to here and things have kinda been going down hill. It's been 3 days since I just lost my closest cousin elijah to cancer. Just last year back when I lived in Arizona, we would always go to random places and make complete fools of ourselves like we didn't have a care in the world. Just 2 best friends who thought would hang out for the rest of their lives. I remember the day he found out that I was moving away and how much it hurt him and how it hurt me to see him hurt. I just wish I got to give him a better goodbyeour.. Like he knew that I loved him and that I would've done anything to help him. Doesn't matter anymore I guess. Now that he's gone and will never see him again. You'd think that my parents would at least let me mourn and weep for a little longer but my parents act as if they don't care and they just brush it off quickly. I never understood. I slip on my slippers and go make myself breakfast. I head down stairs to my kitchen and pour myself some cereal and checking the clock hoping not to waste to much of my time. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Hi sweetheart" I hear my dad say behind me. "Uhh hey" I reply sort of awkward. My dad makes me uncomfortable. "Are you excited for school today? What will you be doing?" He says cheerfully. "Hmmm" I say "well let me think..I will mostly spend most of my time sad thinking about my depressing life and the depressing death of my best cousin." I say through gritted teeth." "Okay then you do that." He replies like he doesn't even acknowledge my pain and what I'm going through. He doesn't even act like a father sometimes.. A husband either. I wouldn't be surprised if he cheated on my mom at least once. I run up to my room and pick out a loose black tank top with a red and black flannel over it with a pair of black leggings and converse. I grab my car keys and then I'm out of the house not wanting to make anymore contact with anyone in my family. Once I'm in my school parking lot I realize that I had forgotten to put makeup on. "I can't go in there looking like this." I mutter to myself. I now feel like crying. I just wish I wasn't so insecure and that I would be just as confident as all the other girls in school. What do they have to worry.. They're adored by everyone. I get out of the car and try and make myself look a little better while just pushing hair over my face so that no one could really see it. I walk in to see some weird looks, mainly popular people but I never felt more unwanted in a place then here. Can I just hide? I walk into gym and sit down on the floor with puffy eyes. No doubt that other boys and girls were staring at me weird. Once class was over as I'm getting dressed back into my cute, not smelly clothes as I see that this one familiar girl started walking up to me. What's her name again? Ummm Selena! That's right, I almost forgot. "Hey, I know that you don't know me very well and I don't really know you but, would you maybe like going to my party tonight?" She says with pleading in her eyes. "It'd be really nice for you to get to know a whole bunch of my friends." She encourages. "How big?" I say with a straight face. "Maybe half the school." She still smiles. "I'll see." I write down my number and hand to her telling her to text me what time and when it ends. I was never a party type of girl. I don't even know understand why she invited me anyway. Why me? I'll just have to wait until the party to find out.