I laid down in my bed and I couldn’t sleep after that moment for the second night. Mag made me march back to my room after her answer. I am assuming that she thinks that I had seen too much too soon and she is possibly correct on that thought.
The quietness of the household made my mind yell even louder while I scanned the stillness of shadows that had a bit of a movement that stated to scare me while I can see that Catre is fast asleep. Catre was still and in peace while I am in complete dismay. The slow deep breaths that she took made me a bit jealous while the shadows around me seemed to come alive in my mind’s eye and been tossed into my own vision while I kept wondering what in the world is she doing to know these kind of things about our pass that she shows that there is a better life out there.
I start to toss and turn knowing that I have to get some sleep but the question screams in my mind. How? I think that I am the only one that is about ready to escape this place and find where she knows how we are treated. I start to give in until the next thing I know I am standing and making my way to the door.
“Zava, where are you going?” I hear a voice behind me while a soft click of a lamp come on telling me that I am caught red handed. However, the part that I heard a voice was that aspect that was really alarming me out. I slowly turned around to see only Catre sitting up in her section of our pushed together bed.
“Did you just talk?” I scribbled as fast as I could in my notebook to where it was almost allegeable to where it took Catre a minute to decode my words.
“I could talk all this time, I just chose not to because I don’t like to be higher than anyone else so I chose to like all of you unless it is some special reason that I have to speak. It makes it fair for everyone.” Catre explained and I understood all of it. There is no right showing off that you can speak to a household that is full of torcher because they were first arrested for something that they might have or have not done.
“But how?” I wrote and she smiled widely as if she was about to show something that only she knows and very few others know. She got out of bed and came to my side and grabbed my hand kindly.
“Fallow me.” She chimed and I fallowed her to a building that I think is outside of the capital while we had to climb a small section of the capital border wall before we could even get to the place itself. I could feel the air brush against me as the damp red brick building stared at me with its massive jail appearance since all the windows had bars or boards covering them.
The building was dark and hard to tell if anyone lives there except a soft glow of some windows that were in use for something. Catre grabbed my hand and pushed her way through the heavy bush that gathered around the place and had let itself overgrow this way. I felt every scratch and scrape that pressed against my skin, possibly leavening marks in the process. I could feel myself getting worried since we are going into some place that I knew that we were not allowed to be at this place but Catre seemed to know what her way so I trusted her.
We weaved from window to window seeing several people crying and others others being silent with red hair but still as sad as the ones that were wailing. Right then I realized where we were when I saw Mistress in one of those windows.
She was sitting on a stool placing a hand on a person whom had red hair and a perfect white uniform. The red hair was cropped short for a girl so she must have been a just turned into what I am.
I was pushed into tears as Catre was almost doing the same.
"I was almost an Avox." She sighed and wiped away her own tears of horibleness.
Now I understand everything. Mistress works as an Avox care person Wich, the imports marked as outports, gets her to where she can house so many and sneak out a few to let them still speak, like Catre. "Mistress is a wonderful person, she had saved me." Catre chimed and I could tell and relate to what she was stating since my fate was sealed into becoming Sorrow's little play toy or the firing squad to be put to death.
"How?" I wrote in my notebook and she looked away while placing her hand against the wall.
"When I was a baby, I must have been the worst thing that happened to them since as soon as I could walk I was sent to be in the hunger games till the Capital person whom was working the booth found out and I was in the Avox system after the games since this person didn’t seem to care, just showed a touch of sypothony. Until Mistress visited my room to take me as her caretaker." Catre sighed and wiped away her own tears that were trying to escape from her eyes.
I felt bad for her thinking that she was never supposed to be like this. I looked back at the just turned thinking about the part that I may know some of them that are in there. I wondered if this one would be brought home with her though I doubt it like she did me.
I had seen her before I went to the cutter to get my tongue removed. I even had eye contact and talked to her for just a moment and she saved Catre instead of me. I can see why but I needed to get out because of my group that I worked with. They left me as well to live the rest of my days here. How many is she trying to help escape compared to the ones who she is owning her condolences to by making them hers to give them the closest thing to luxury that Mistress can muster?
I had seen enough to where I was amazed and disgusted at the same time. I didn't want to be at the Avox perfection institution any more. I glared at Catre with daggers thinking that I had a chance to dodge three years of my life to be her helper instead of the brutal torcher that I struggled to get past.
I turned my back to the window and Catre with my anger bottled up inside because I know I can’t make a sound or two big of a gesture because if we are seen that means everything that Mistress had worked for go down the tubes.
“What is wrong Zava? Did I answer all if your questions that were bugging you?” I can hear the quiver in Catre’s voice. The anger that was inside me wanted to control me to where I was ready to become someone that I was not so instead I started to walk in the darkness back to our household.
“You did Catre and then some to my likening.” I hissed in my mind at her knowing that I was never going to get my dream of being like my old self.