16. Losing Control
We were at drama club rehearsal
"But I say this before or after Jane comes in ?" Billy asks
"Billy! I've just told you that!" I say
"Sorry I wasn't paying attention"
"Ok so pay attention now, you start your part after Jane comes in"
"But what about me?" Ellie asks
"What about you?" I ask confused
"When do I come in?"
"Oh Gosh! Do you guys listen to what I say?!I have already said when each one of you comes in at least ten times!!!!!!"
I ‘m getting stressed. We are going in circles.
"Alison, my girl, you need to relax a little...you need to...to go to the cinema!" Louis says
"Go to the cinema?"
"Yes. It would make you relax a little. I am free on Saturday night...what do you think? You and I. Together. In the darkness of the cinema. We could have so much fun..."
Everybody starts laughing. I’m furious. Louis is smiling
"Sorry I can't on Saturday..." I say walking away from him
"Oh please don't say no to me. You are breaking my heart" he says following me
"I am sure you will be fine"
"I would never be fine with you out of my life"
Everybody laugh more. I need to stay away from him. I need some space.
I started walking to another direction.
"Where are you going?" he asks
"To the bathroom. Will you follow me there too?"
"Depends on what you are going to do. I always wanted to fuck a girl in the bathroom"
Everyone laughs harder. I’m beyond furious. He make me feel so pathetic. I go fast to the bathroom, holding my tears back. I won't cry because of Louis. Not again