You can't decide whether money changes things or not; it does. You can decide, however, whether it changes things for better or worse.


25. Twenty five

I'm sitting in my room that evening feeling pretty angry and sorry for myself when surprisingly, Alice sends me a message on Facebook:

Are you okay? X

I sigh. I was angry at all of them but maybe I shouldn't have been. Johanna was the only one to say anything, not the others. I reply:

Yeah, thank you x

She replies:

Sorry about earlier. We were all just a bit shocked x

I reply:

Don't worry, it wasn't you who said anything x

She replies:

Can me and Carrie come over? X

Within twenty minutes we're all sat in my room eating Doritos with dip and we've got TV on in the background. This is what we always do but usually Johanna's here as well so it seems kind of weird. They haven't said why she isn't here. I guess she's angry too.

"So are you and Alex together then?" Carrie asks. "Have you been together this whole time?" 

I laugh a little. "No. We never have been or will be together."

"So it was just like a one time thing." 

"Yeah." I say. 

"That is so rebellious of you." Alice says and I laugh. And then she adds "It wouldn't shock me if you got together though."

"That's just because we slept together though." I point out. 

She shakes her head. "No, it just always seemed like you'd end up together. He really likes you."

"Just because we had sex doesn't mean-"

"No I'm talking about before." she says. "It was always obvious he really liked you. He'd look at you like you were the most interesting thing in the world."

"Yes!" Carrie agrees. "Like after paint balling when we went to dinner, you were kind of in your own world but he'd keep looking at you while he spoke anyway to see how you were reacting."

I don't really know how to react to that. I can't exactly deny it because they both noticed so I just change the subject and try not to think about it too much.

"So is Johanna pissed with me?" I ask. 

Carrie and Alice exchange a look and they both sigh. 

"We were talking about this on the way here." Alice explains. "She is pissed but we think she's only angry because she cares about you. She didn't like that you made such a huge decision without really thinking about it, no offence, and she was worried about you. And you know Johanna, she's not huge into sharing her feelings so she probably just thought it would be easier to act angry with you."

I nod, knowing Alice is probably right. She's always right about this sort of thing. I just don't know how to sort it out.

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