3. Letter to a Loved One
As the days pass by it becomes a little easier. I'm not forgetting, how could I ever? I'm just finding new ways to cope, to accept what has happened and that no matter how desperately I want to, I cannot bring you back, I cannot make everything better - only you can do that. People ask me "How are you?" and my immediate answer is "Fine" but what they don't realise is underneath that simple word are a thousand more I wish to express but simply cannot; possibly because I am afraid to admit that, no I'm not 'fine' I'm actually struggling without you here. I lost someone precious to me and that affected my life incredibly. Sure I still have fun and have happy days but there is no mistaking behind every smile is a little hurt, behind every laugh is a little pain that only you can cure. So forgive me for faking a smile every now and then or forging a laugh; I guess it's my way of getting by. But tell me Granddad, how do you expect me to truly get by without the greatest man I've come to know in my life? It hurts Granddad, it hurts a lot. Knowing I will never see your face, hear your voice, smell your scent or feel your hugs; that pains me deeply. I love you Granddad, I always have and always will - till my last breath and forever after.