1. Chapter 4: Cancer
Like waves, days float on by. Leaving me on the bottom of a cheap motel pool. Staring at the waves.
There is no current. I lay still. Float still. To be precise.
I see dim silhouettes of people standing above me, on the poolside. Looking down at me. Yet I can't seem to help but feel larger. The table has turned, fuckers. Man, if I only could see my own face...
I have my personal choir. Singing to me, while I do my daily routines. Every moment has a refrain. Every refrain has a character. It seems. Please, don't confuse me with an average Psychopath. I am everything but your average guy.
People seem to be sinking around me. Looking at me, frowning. One or two holds out his or her hand. To reach for mine. I like to make them think that I would reach back. Pulling my hand back just before our finger tips touch one another.
I can't help but feel happy for myself. Given the fact that I live an interesting life some people would be jealous of. Cancer. That's what doc told me. Insanity. I don't think that I'm insane. I just happen to be sick. That is all.
I met this man. Frank, he called himself. He told me what he does. For living, you know.