And It Sounds Like This


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1. And It Sounds Like This

I spit your name from my lips like poison, corroding away at my sensitive flesh. 

It stings as I exhale it on my sour breath, and the taste knits my roiling stomach into undecipherable knots.

My God, I utter vehemently, praying for an escape from the pain.

I say it again, and pieces of me shatter inside, pieces of me I didn't know existed.

Again.

I am on fire, ablaze wherever your lips sowed black powder under my skin with soft, murmured promises against me. 

Again.

The world is all tremors and spinning, and I beg for it to fade away-- Oh, God, make it all disappear.

Again.

Jeremiah...

And then, I am broken.

The people tell me "Sound's like a swell guy." 

No! I scream inside my head, that contemporary hell where your name is the taboo that crumbles my soul.

He sounds like cutting my wrists and bleeding myself dry! He sounds like empty bottles and cigarettes and smeared makeup! He sounds like a whole lot of hurt...that's what he sounds like! 

"Yes." Forced smile, repressed tears, and an unmistakable roar as everything collapses. "A real swell guy indeed."

 

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