Q: Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window? A: He wanted to see time fly.
Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party? A: Because you can't drink and derive...
Q: What do you say when you are comforting a grammar nazi? A: There, Their, They're
Q: What's another name for Santa's elves? A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: Why did the student take a ladder to school? A: Because he/she was going to high school!
Q: What is Grammar? A: The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you’re shit.
Q: What three candies can you find in every school? A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
Q: What's a teacher's favorite nation? A: Expla-nation.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the school dance? A: He didn't have anybody to take. (any BODY)
Q: What happened to the plant in math class? A: It grew square roots.
Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? A: LMAYO
Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? A: Because she couldn't control her pupils?
Q: How did the geography student drown? A: His grades were below C-level
Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems.
Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!
Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 9
Q: What is a chalkboard's favorite drink? A: hot chalk-olate!
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? A: SWAG
Q: What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A: Dam!
Q: How does a maths professor propose to his fiancée? A: With a polynomial ring!
Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: Rubber-band -- because it streches.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.
Q: Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school? A: Because she sprained her angle!!
Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin.
Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four
Q: What do you call a music teacher with problems? A: a trebled man.
Q: How did the caretaker die? A: He kicked the bucket
Q: Did you hear they're changing the flooring in daycare centres? A: They're calling it infant-tile!
Q: What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? A: 2 Fast 2 Curious
Q: What gets white as it gets dirty? A: Chalkboard
Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder? A: To reach the high notes.
Q: What do you call the leader of a biology gang? A: The Nucleus
Q: Why did the two 4's skip lunch? A: They already 8 (ate).
Q: Name a bus you can never enter? A: A syllabus
Q: What did the mathematician's parrot say? A: A poly "no meal"
Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? A: Because it's basic material.
Q: If H20 is water what is H204? A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!