"Now, do you see, Anne? I held Ashton's lifeless body in my arms for at least another two hours. No matter how many councillors I see, I'm not going to get better. You're what, the sixth? I loved him, so much Anne. And I killed him. I didn't mean to, but I deserve to pay for what I did. Man, I deserve to be dead. So don't tell me I need to work through my issues. Because my issues are too deep." I cried. Anne, my elderly councillor, stared back at me.
"Maia, I know we've been over the events before. However I am proud of the detail you went into this time. But, you have never told me what the letter said. I believe you have it with you? In prison?" She asked. I clutched the letter in my hand.
"I guess I could read it to you.
I am so sorry for the pain my family has caused yours. I am so sorry for how this has had to end. My mother is a vile woman. Yet no where near as vile as what I've done to you. I don't know how long I'll be able cope with what I've done to you. But I do know that I'll miss you. Forever isn't enough time with you. But one day I'll hold you close, forever. And tell you how much I love you. You're dad would be so proud. As I am proud to say how much I loved you. Maia Quickenden, I love you. And I am sorry. One day, we'll have out forever. "
Anne stared back at me. "It sounds like he really loved you Maia. Forgive me for asking, but is that what caused you to try to commit suicide?"
"Yes, Anne. It's fine for you to ask. He wanted us to be forever. I can't cope with what I've done to him. Everything he says is true. I'm a lost soul. Until I find him, I'm never going to survive. Anne, I'm sorry but no amount of therapy will ever help me. Please, Anne. I need to go."
"Maia, I'm sorry but I can't allow you to do this. Over the past year I've spent with you, you've come so far. We've spent a good hour today discussing what happened. I know prison is hard on you. But you are battle depression. You're getting through it. I promise I will of rest until I've helped you. So please, keep trying."
"Anne, I killed Ashton Irwin. His family, his band, his fans. All distraught. All hating me. How can I live with myself? My family hate me. I'm alone. In an endless pool of darkness. Ashton has always been my light at the end of a tunnel, even before I knew him. So don't tell me I can get through this. I don't care what it takes. Soon, me and Ashton will have out forever.
No matter what."